Why is it so hard to say I love you, and do you have to hear it. I mean if you know they love you then why is it so important to hear it. Does it really give you a boost. My partner says it when I say it first, he says it sometimes and thats great. So why do we feel they need to say it more. Does everybody feel like this and why.
2006-10-05 08:25:00 · 33 answers · asked by hatfieldnomi 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Thankyou so far to the people who said I love you. thats so sweet. ( you are all nuts) But thanks.
2006-10-05 08:37:12 · update #1
I love you is a very complicated phrase in English, because what immediately follows is, "What does it mean"? I mean, there are thousands of ways of saying it, and none mean exactly the same thing.
I've been in a relationship for over a year and a half, and my fiancee and I say it all the time, because we realized early on there cannot be any expectations.
When someone says I love you and expects you to say it back, it is tainted. It is like "conditional love". I love you... if you love me back. That's very childish. But if you are not required to say it, like there is no pressure, and it naturally comes out it is the most spectacular thing.
We have begun to instead of the "I love you, I love you back" to instead have more options for a response. If you say "I love you" to him, teach him to say "Thank you" or "I accept."
"I accept" was a VERY cool shift in my fiancee and my relationship, because we realized that each of us could dish it out, but it was tough to RECEIVE the love. I believe that often the "I love you back" is a way to deflect the love, because most people are afraid of it.
So give that one a try. Instead of "I love you back" - back and forth like a tennis match, try "I accept" and see what happens. It is easier to give love then to receive it, and accepting the love given is probably the greatest challenge.
Hope this helps.
2006-10-05 08:37:38 · answer #1 · answered by Jericho 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it is important to hear it. You answered it yourself when you made it a point to make it very clear that you always say I love you first. That should tell you that should tell you that you need to hear and see it more often. I think a small part of it is the fact that people in general are insecure. That is everyone on one level or another. Those three little words can make a difference between a bad day and a good one. Plus, it makes you feel wonderful to know that your significant other will take time to make sure you know how they feel about you.
2006-10-05 08:31:16 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people just need to hear it. I am one of those people. It is a big boost when you are having a really bad day and they tell you that they love you. My brother-in-law always tells my sister first that he loves her. Some men are just wired differently than others I guess.
2006-10-05 08:31:26 · answer #3 · answered by Michelle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People are different. I like to hear it everyday and my boyfriend likes to say it more than once and I personally love to hear it! I find that it just reminds me everyday how lucky I am to have found someone that I can share that kind of emotion with. I think it's important to me, but if it's not to you, then that's ok!
2006-10-05 08:29:35 · answer #4 · answered by Dr. Kat 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Someone says that the best appeal a person can give you is their love for you. Saying I love you is one form of showing your love, that is Words of Affirmation, one of the five love languages.
To be loved is one of the fundamental human needs and to be loved by the person you loved will encourage you to give more. On the other hand, unreturned love makes the heart sick.
2006-10-05 09:06:43 · answer #5 · answered by Gable 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's the same reason people get married even after they've been living together for years. It's an affirmation of the relationship, and it's reassuring to you that the other person is serious.
2006-10-05 08:39:41 · answer #6 · answered by MotherFirefly 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We are creatures of habit. I think we need certain things in our lives to validate us. Having our mate openly express feelings of love somehow validates us. I know that if I never hear it from my mate, it would be disappointing to me. We just need that reassurance that love does exist and he's not afraid to tell me. As human creatures, we just need certain things and hearing the words 'I love you' is one of those things.
2006-10-05 08:30:13 · answer #7 · answered by Special K 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sort of sounds like you need to hear! i say; say it if you mean it. say it when it suit you, never feel obligated to. i told my guy don't say b/c you feel you have to say it. i know he loves me i can feel it/and he shows it. but on the days that he is mad at me he doesn't say i love you. so if you can't say it when you are mad then why say only when you are happy. you should love me all the time. the good,bad, ugly...
2006-10-05 08:33:28 · answer #8 · answered by AC 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm fine with not hearing it as long as the actions show it, I don't say it much myself and less I am feeling particularly emotional.
2006-10-05 08:32:27 · answer #9 · answered by Red 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's to hard to say i love you because our languages connected to our a emotional aspect the language is the way we express our felling and if you try to say i love u in anther language then it will be easy to say it.
and we have to hear it because what we think we know needs to be confirmed again and again...etc
2006-10-05 15:06:45 · answer #10 · answered by HAS 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋