2006-10-05 08:23:53 · 12 answers · asked by lisa b 1 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Two men drinking in a bar are arguing loudly. One of them stands drunkenly to his feet and shouts
"I f___ed your mom!!"
Dead silence in the bar... the other man says nothing.
"Did you hear that?!! I said 'f___ed your mom'!!!" the man screams again.
The other man takes a sip of his drink and says...
"I know dad."
2006-10-05 08:34:43 · answer #1 · answered by Andielep 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
On the first day of elementary school the teacher had each child stand up and tell everyone their name and what their father did for a living. Tommy's dad was a brick layer and Mary's was a Lawyer, etc. When they got to little Johnny, he introduced himself and said his father had passed away. The teacher then asked him what his father did before he passed away, to which Johnny answered, "Oh, he turned purple and **** all over the floor!"
2006-10-05 08:30:36 · answer #2 · answered by revolvur2000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have to say that Scots two jokes rock! Very funny.
2006-10-05 10:57:20 · answer #3 · answered by jen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Old ladie dies and is talking to Peter at the gates. Hears awful screams. "Dont worry" said Peter, "Thats a lady getting holes put in her shoulders for wings". A few minutes later the screaming starts again. "Not to worry" says Peter. "Shes having her head drilled for the halo". The old lady is in shock. "I want to go to hell". "You cant go there" says Peter. "youd be raped. "Maybe so" says the old lady "but at least i have the hole for that.
2006-10-05 09:10:09 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Plenty, can't put them on here, because every time I do I get a violation notice as some people who use this site have no sense of humour!
2006-10-05 08:29:04 · answer #5 · answered by psychoticgenius 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i saw one somewhere that goes something like this;
Little Johnny was doing homework from his sex education class. He suddenly turns around and asks his dad 'Do you spell penis with one n or two n's?
His father said 'Put three n's '
'Won't that be too long?' Little Johnny asked.
No, it can never be long enough.
2006-10-05 08:42:20 · answer #6 · answered by realstyles2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog. At least he'll stop barking when he gets inside.
2006-10-05 08:28:12 · answer #7 · answered by Barbi 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
little boy talking to daddy who was naked in the bath with mummy, Daddy whats that..
Oh thats just my car son.
well mummy whats that. oh thats my garage son.
that night little boy walks in on mummy and daddy when they were having sex. what are you doing daddy asks little boy
oh i'm just parking my car in mummy's garage son.
well you wont do it with your back wheels hanging out........
2006-10-05 09:57:54 · answer #8 · answered by chris w. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
whats the diffrence between love, true love, and showing off?
spitting, swallowing, and gargling
what,s so good about a ethiopian b.l.o.w job
you know she'll swallow
2006-10-05 08:32:23 · answer #9 · answered by rusty red 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How do you know when you're in love?
When your wife pats you on the a55 and says,
"You're in, love"
2006-10-05 08:31:04 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋