I am getting married in May and have a big problem. My aunt and my cousin (who is 20 yrs old) are not involved in the wedding, which is a problem because I have my other two cousins as readers and my other aunt as a singer in the wedding. The aunt and couin that are not in the wedding have not said anything about it, but it is pretty obvious that they are hurt by me since I have not included them..
So my question is, can anyone give me a job that they can do to be a part of the wedding? (preferablly not the guest book person suggestion because I already have someone for that...)
Any response or suggestion would be appreciated!!
2006-10-05 08:14:48 · 18 answers · asked by sweetiepie22 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
My aunt was more than pleased to be left with handing out the bird seed packets. That falls along with the guest book, so you may not like that idea.
Hmm, maybe you could have them help you before the wedding? Like with the decorations or the gifts for your guests? My grandmother wanted to help, but she's got a bad back. She was tickled to death when we asked her to put the jordan almonds in the tulle bags, tie them ,and put little cards with the date on them.
Just ask them to help you with something you might have done alone, but make it sound like they don't have to help if they don't want to. Then they'll be more likely to help- as opposed to thinking you're coming to them as a last ditch effort.
Oh, and my mom's friend helped slice up the cake. Maybe they could do that??
2006-10-05 08:20:45 · answer #1 · answered by Phoenixsong 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you have someone to cut the wedding cake? It's a nasty job, but someone needs to do it. Honey, this is so very sweet of you, to try and include everyone. A lot of brides don't take inconsideration that feelings can be easily hurt.
If you all ready have someone to cut the cake, what about making sure that everyone has their flowers, and the guys are always needing help with those. Do you have a punch that you are serving? Or a main dish, they could help serve. Making sure everyone gets their wedding favors. You can't believe how many people forget their little goodies that you sweated over.
I hope this helps, and I do really believe that you are one wonderful bride. I am sure you can find just the right spot for both of them. My your wedding be the happiest and most beautiful day possible.
God bless us all.................
2006-10-05 10:43:26 · answer #2 · answered by totallylost 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do these people have any special talents? Like does the aunt sing just as well as the aunt that will sing? If she can sing, can they sing "together"? How about the cousin? It's really your day honey! If you considered the "others" it;s because you knew they could do the job. You can't expect to make room for or have jobs for all the relatives!!
Is there some kind of job you could ask them to do at the reception? If not, just let them enjoy your day at both wedding and reception.
2006-10-05 08:23:23 · answer #3 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have them greet people at the door and direct them to the ushers (If you have ushers) if you dont have one do greeting and the other play usher.
Have them hand out bubbles/bells/birdseed/flower petals if youre doing any of that.
Have them be candle lighters (sounds odd I know but you'd be surprised how many people never thought about who would light the candles and it became a last minute OOPS)
They could also be "behind the scenes attendants" which means they help fetch things for you as you need them on the big day, help you get dressed if need be, make last minute calls if needed (flowers are late, etc), or assist your coordinator/planner in any way he/she needs (if you have one) generally a planner will ask that a family member assist so that they can be sure they got all the peoples names right and such, that way people can be gathered for pictures faster (less hunting around).
2006-10-05 08:30:57 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are Catholic they could carry the bread and the wine down the aisle for communion. Could they say the blessing before the dinner? Could you give them disposable cameras and give them the task of taking the candids at the reception?
If you honestly can not find anything for them to do, consider giving them each a corsage to wear the day of the wedding to show them that they are just as important to you as everyone else.
2006-10-06 14:40:51 · answer #5 · answered by nichole2583 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My sister (who is not in the bridal party because she has troubles standing for large periods of time) is my personal assistant. She is also helping me with pretty much all of the planning. My nephew, who is in a wheelchair (and is developmentally delayed) is handing out programs with help from his dad. My 2 little cousins will be walking my runner down the aisle before i come out. I also have someone who is in charge of watching the older people who will be attending- in case they need help to the bathroom or need some water.
There is a place in your wedding for whoever you want- sometimes you just have to get creative and sometimes create jobs if someone might feel left out.
All of the people i added jobs for werent originally going to be in the wedding but i really didnt want them to be hurt, so i found things to do!
2006-10-05 08:30:00 · answer #6 · answered by glorymomof3 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know it's not a REALLY "big" thing to do...but I'm having programs at the church to give to all the guests that tells what's going on during the ceremony...They could maybe have that job. I have 2 people doing that for my wedding...They don't cost much either...you can print them out on your own! GOOD LUCK!
2006-10-05 08:19:44 · answer #7 · answered by Imthelittlesis 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had "Junior Attendant Guards," two people to keep an eye on the younger members of the bridal party (ages 4,5, and a rather immature 9) and they also hung out at the playground that was right outside our reception hall to watch the kids.
2006-10-05 13:09:21 · answer #8 · answered by Gabby_Gabby_Purrsalot 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will need someone to cut the cake for guests( after you and groom cut it), Someone should also be there to cut the groom's cake if you have one. How about manning the punch bowl? All of these are things that the friends or family that are not directly in the wedding are asked to do. It is an honor to be asked to perform one of these functions.Good Luck!
2006-10-05 08:21:15 · answer #9 · answered by diturtlelady2004 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Do you have programs for the wedding?
Have them both pass these out at the door!
Use them as greeter's before the ceremony,asking
what side bride's or groom's and then have the usher
take them down the aisle.
Or at the end are u throwing bird seed, have them pass
it out...Get the picture?
2006-10-05 08:43:53 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋