And she begged you to allow her to have an abortion, what would you do?
If you oppose abortion, how do you explain to her that she must carry this pregnancy to term??
2006-10-05 07:43:03 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Debra M.....I want you to realize that I am only seeking to see where people stand on tough issues, not to cause you pain. I am sorry.
2006-10-05 07:48:31 · update #1
dairyland...that was going to be the gist of the next question.
2006-10-05 07:49:54 · update #2
Okay, I've been raped, too. And of course I worried about what I would do if I were pregnant.
What I decided for myself is that I would give the baby up for adoption. I wasn't pregnant, so I didn't have to carry out that decision.
If it were my child, it would be so much harder to say what I would do, but sitting here outside the experience, these are my thoughts:
I would get my child into counseling. Pregnant or not. Counseling. 1 in 4 women in the USA have been raped or molested before they turn 18. Most of them have never received any type of counseling. I think that's tragic.
Now if you have a young woman who has been raped and not helped to process it, and she's pregnant and that pregnancy will result in her feeling further victimized, being constantly reminded of the event, being forced to reveal what happened to her or have others assume that the pregnancy was her "fault", I can see where it would be intuitive to believe that ending the pregnancy will help her.
My problem with that is that I've spoken to women who were raped, pregnant, and aborted. They still have scars from their rapes, and they still feel guilty for their abortions.
I'm sure there are exceptions, but I haven't met them.
My point is that abortion will not in any way replace the need for counseling. And with counseling, a young woman may be better able to disassociate her baby with her attacker and give the child up for adoption if she cannot keep the baby herself.
I wouldn't fight to make a child (anyone's) keep a baby conceived in rape. Being forced to do so is further victimization. But I would fight to see that victims received adequate counseling before making that decision. Abortion won't solve all the issues involved. I don't think it is quite the answer most people like to think it is, and it can compound the problem. It doesn't undo the rape and it can compound the problem with guilt and regret.
2006-10-05 09:27:06 · answer #1 · answered by Contemplative Chanteuse IDK TIRH 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am pro life, but I am also pro choice,
First let me start off by syaing, I am soo sorry she went through that, really.
I believe that it is up to the woman carring the child to decide, but I would explain this to her: It was that man that made a wrong choice, so why punish a life that hasn't had achance to live, and had nothing to do with the man's actions. She can, if she wants, to carry the child till birth, and then give it up for adoption.
It is not aneasy situation, but ultimately she has to decide, no matter the rest of oue beliefs, it is not up to anyone else to tell a woman what to do with her body.
God bless you both, may peace find your hearts.
2006-10-05 07:52:29 · answer #2 · answered by danksprite420 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My daughter had gotten pregnant from a date rape. We sat and talked and she decided to keep the baby. She wanted to put it up for adoption at first but changed her mind. My beautiful grand daughter is now 6 yrs old. She is a Mommy's girl so there was no rejection planted in her. She looks just like my daughter when she was a little girl. Just be there for her this is an emotional time in many ways for her. You're her Mom be her strength in her time of need.
2006-10-05 07:53:44 · answer #3 · answered by ♀_♥₤ẩϋřą♥_♂ 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I would try to get her to look into as many options as possible... not just run to the one she feels is the best because of what happened. I've known several women who have had abortions... some due to rape, others due to just plain stupidity... and all of them regret it. I would not want to see her cause further damage to her emotional state because of it.... BUT, I would not deny her the abortion either, if that is what she wanted.
I understand the one's who have abortion because of rape, but I also have a problem with understanding it as well. I can see the emotional turmoil one would go thru because of the rape. But, personally, I don't think I could have an abortion because I was raped. But that's my personal decision... not my "daughters". (I'm so glad I had a son!!!!!!!!!)
2006-10-05 07:54:54 · answer #4 · answered by Kithy 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I'm against abortion and would try to talk my daughter out of it. But in the end it is her body and she will need to make and live with the choices she makes throughout her life including this way.
No matter what she decides I will be there for her.
2006-10-05 09:03:12 · answer #5 · answered by James C 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What a horrible and dificult situation! As much as I had a say, I would not allow her to kill the child, though I would encourage her to give the baby up for adoption. I would explain to her that "two wrongs do not make a right" and that one is always blessed in one way or another for doing the right thing. It may be the hardest thing she'll ever have to do and the hardest trial to endure, but in the long run she will feel glad that she chose not to end the childs life. God would give her the strength to make it and I would be there 100% of the way for her whatever she ended up doing.
2006-10-05 07:49:22 · answer #6 · answered by KDdid 5 · 3⤊ 2⤋
I have been raped and did fear this situation so I could understand. I would not permit it but I would stand by her and offer any support needed then and after. I would explain to her that this child is not its father. Together we would decide what is best, have and keep or give the child to someone unaware of its beginnings.
No pain caused, I left that behind years ago.
2006-10-05 07:46:51 · answer #7 · answered by Debra M. Wishing Peace To All 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
I'd tell her to give the child up for adoption. Any child of mine would be raised knowing my views. She would also be told that what happened to her wasn't her fault. After all, I will admit, if I were raped, I"d give the baby up for adoption and not abort.
2006-10-05 07:52:14 · answer #8 · answered by sister steph 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That would be rough. I think I'd have to offer to care for the child myself, not that it would necessarily change her mind. We are talking about my grandhild here, and if grandchildren are anything like children, I don't see how any of us could live with ourselves after allowing that child to die.
We could try to explain to her what our lives would be like had we aborted her.
2006-10-05 07:52:11 · answer #9 · answered by luvwinz 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would let my daughter decide what it is she wants. No matter what choice she made I would stand by her. I would also make sure she received all the help in the world that I could possibly provide.
2006-10-05 09:03:24 · answer #10 · answered by buttercup 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋