My mum thought it maybe a good idea because you might get too much of the same things if you ask for wedding gifts.
2006-10-05 07:41:22 · 68 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Yes, very.
2006-10-05 07:43:18 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 3⤋
Etiquette dictates that you are not supposed to include registry information OR gift requests of ANY sort IN the invitation. It is rude and smacks of greed (am I only being invited so they can get a gift from me?).
If you want monetary gifts tell your close family and those that you are having as attendants and let them answer when people ask what you need or get modern and create a "Wedding Web Page" which you can include registry info on or even make a honeymoon registry (where guests can purchase "parts" of your honeymoon for you.) If you want certain items and are worried about duplicates there's a couple of things to keep in mind...
1. You can go make a registry with practically ANY store these days and that should eliminate duplicate purchases.
2. MOST anything you get as a gift can be returned if you don't like it or got duplicates, then you've got that cash you wanted in the first place (for those of you who think THIS is rude.... it is EXACTLY the same as saying to someone that you'd rather have had the cash)
Don't make the wedding about the gifts, it is about your union as man and wife.
2006-10-05 08:17:58 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The question to ask yourself is this..When it comes to holidays do extended family members send money or gifts? If your answer is money then it would not be rude to ask for money because your family is more comfortable sending money than gifts. If your family members are big gift givers then they may feel like you don't appreciate whet they have given you in the past, so your best bet is to register some place. But just pick a store that you know and love in case you get duplicates or something you just can't stand. This gives you the ability to take it back and get something that you truly want. No matter what you ask for in the end you will receive a little bit of the other. If you choose to ask for money, they have this thing called the wedding bird cage. You get a bird cage and decorate with your wedding colors and sit it on what would be the gift table. The guest just simply slide the cards into the cage.
2006-10-05 08:17:52 · answer #3 · answered by livingswild 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
In New York most people just bring money to the wedding and gifts are for the shower, if your in the NY metro area u might not have to worry about that at all. If your afraid of getting doubles, register somewhere for lots of stuff and maybe two different places so when someone gets something it gets crossed off a list and u wont get doubles. if you do get doubles im sure if u tell the gifter, listen i got one of these already and i dont want your gift to go to waste, i dont think they would be too upset. what the point giving a gift someone cant use. i suggest registering somewhere low priced but not tackey... Target, Linens and things and somewhere a little classier for those who are more extravagent... Macy's or Bloomingdales...
i dont think flat out asking for money is good but maybe when your with a group of friends... or even bridesmaids... just off hand mention.. something like "yea im kinda hoping i get more money then gifts, i'm nervous about bills pilling up when this is all over with." or u could even have some of them let other close friends or family about the situation.
2006-10-05 09:13:55 · answer #4 · answered by writergirl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Difficult - some people might take offence, some not.
For my wedding (30 years ago), long before online wedding lists and such like, we simply got a nice little ring-bound notebook, and wrote a gift suggestion on each page. Then each person had a look through the book and tore out the page with the gift they could afford and wanted to give. No offence, no duplications.
2006-10-05 08:22:36 · answer #5 · answered by Stephen L 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Asking for ANY gift is rude. Asking for money gifts is EXTREMELY rude.
Just sit back and accept what people feel like giving you as a gifts. Have no expectations.
Please buy and read a Miss Manners book before you do any further wedding planning..
2006-10-05 10:02:43 · answer #6 · answered by Etiquette Gal 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you make proper wedding list you shouldn't get duplicate gifts in theory. You can either ask a store to do this for you or even a willing family member/ friend. I think its really nice to put in wedding invites something along the lines of... 'Please don't feel obliged to buy a gift but if you would like to, here is a selection of items which we will need to set up home together'. Make up a proper wedding list (but please please be sure to put plenty of things on there to suit ALL budgets, not just the loaded people). Perhaps you could put at the end of the list 'if you would prefer to give vouchers we will be buying some of our larger household items at ******** store'
I think it is possible to suggest a finanical gift without appearing rude, but it sounds better if it is to be towards something rather than just paid into a bank account! A lot of people are opening honeymoon accounts which actually pay for the holiday.
Just an idea. Good luck and congratulations in advance!
2006-10-05 07:51:23 · answer #7 · answered by Dr Fill 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Hi no not at all. im getting married next year and we have asked for money instead of gifts. We wouldnt dare say we want money. All we are going to right on the invites is. Please instead of gifts please could we accept money gifts in replacement of regular wedding gifts. I know what you mean we still have gifts from when we got engaged so we really dont need any items so i dont really see the problem because there is no use you getting items you wont use. Where money will come in handy as long as you dont waste it or are putting toward something.
2006-10-05 08:28:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
No actually its not, we did that but just with our parents, now with the other guests we did do a bridal registry but mainly requested gift cards to our favorite stores. Buying a gift is optional no one has to do anything. But if they come to the wedding shower and no gift?? That would be a bit rude unless they couldnt afford it. There are exceptions
2006-10-05 10:50:48 · answer #9 · answered by 86Angel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey you cant demand what people should give you for any occasion. If they give and what they give is their choice. Remember people give you a gift as a token of love and affection and it is your duty to accept what they give you as a token of appreciation without complaining or demanding something better.
Asking for money would be quite sensitive and would make your wedding a commercial event. Why not charge an entrance fee for your wedding instead of asking for money as a gift. Maybe it will help with expenses. Loll !
2006-10-05 07:58:53 · answer #10 · answered by Bachelor boy 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Depends on how you ask for money instead of gifts. If you just don't register for gifts most people will give money. You can also let your parents casually spread the word.
It would be rude however to put in on say the invitation.
Congrats on the upcoming wedding!
2006-10-05 07:50:44 · answer #11 · answered by thatgirl 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋