I am 21, he is 20, we have been dating for over two years. I do not want to get married right this instant, we are both in college and supporting ourselves. However, I would like to get engaged sometime soon, even if it had to be for a few years while we finished school and got our careers started. When we talk about this (I tried dropping hints first, then decided to be totally honest with him), he always says "I'm just not ready to get married". I ask him why, so that I can try to understand it, and after a month he finally gave me the reason "I'm just not ready for the responsibility I guess."
We have always been serious, I love him to death and he is a great guy. Like I said, I don't want to get married this instant, that isn't feasible for us, but I don't understand why we couldn't get engaged, if he is as sure as he says he is about wanting to marry me in the future. As much as we talk about it, I always walk away feeling unfulfilled. What should I do?
2006-10-05 07:33:21 · 4 answers · asked by sillyoleme 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
ALSO - If you're just going to tell me we're too young to think about it, please don't waste your time. I need some real advice here, not your opinion on the right age to get married. I am asking about HIS reasons and what I should do, because I know I am ready to get engaged. Thanks!
2006-10-05 07:42:07 · update #1
And why can't he give me specific reasons he isn't ready? If he knows he isn't ready, then he ought to know why, right? Isn't it only fair that I have an estimate on how long it will be before we're engaged? I am stressed!
2006-10-05 07:43:28 · update #2
You should realize that both of you are way too young to even get engaged. Keep your mind on school.
2006-10-05 07:38:04 · answer #1 · answered by JustMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are young. He is young. Why do you feel the need to be engaged? Ask yourself this question. Is it because you are afraid of him losing interest at some point and breaking it off? If so, engagement does not change that. Engagement is right before marriage. Typically you start planning the wedding the minute you are engaged. So the fact that he is hesitant to make that step when marriage is out there a few years is really understandable. It doesn't mean he doesn't want to marry you when he is 26, out of school and well into a career.
2006-10-05 07:42:12 · answer #2 · answered by BParker 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well hun, here goes......I understand totally how you feel. i am 27 my boyfriend is 29, we have been together about 3 1/2 years, we have been living together for 3 years, and he tells me the same thing when I ask. After a while I stopped asking cause I realized I love him so much that I will take him anyway I can get him. So even though he will not give you a specific reason to why he is not ready, just be happy that you have him in your life. You don't want to scare him away cause he keep asking him. Guys tend to take longer to realize things then us girls. So hang in there, he knows what you want, leave it at that for a while and see what happens. Guys don't want to feel pressured into anything just cause its what their girlfriend wants. Let it be his idea. I'm sure he wants to surprise you when he is ready. Well I hope this helps a little. Email me if you need anymore advise.
2006-10-05 07:49:33 · answer #3 · answered by grrrrme 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm not trying to be mean, but here's what your man said to you.
"i'm not ready to get married" (to you)
"i'm just not ready for the responsibility" (to you)
he took a whole month to answer this question??? what happens when you ask him to take out the trash? is he gonna take a year?
2006-10-05 07:41:00 · answer #4 · answered by Bella 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋