We were together a year ago, during which we broke up 3 times in 1 month. I initiated the breakups. I felt insecure with him. One day, I caught him flirting online with a girl. That was the final breakup. I felt really betrayed. He's my first love and because of past hurts, I'm quite fragile. He hardly called or went out with me. He says he loves me but doesn't show it, so I decided it was over. However, he insisted on remainin friends. He was there for me when I needed, tho any calls were at my request (face-to-face meetings were at his request).I got back with him and he showed more initiative calling and smsing me. He also took pains to do stuff I whined a year back in our earlier rs about him not doing. But I feel we talk too little still. We go out 1/week and chat on the phone 2-3 times/week. He rather swim and catch a movie alone than invite me out. What's going on? When we meet, he's attentive. When Im troubled, he's always there. Why doesn't he want to spend time tog?
2006-10-05 07:30:38 · 8 answers · asked by Freelove 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
We started off as friends on a very close emotional intimacy, where he told me his darkest secret and I, mine. Because of that, I feel very close to him. We supported each other emotionally and spiritually even after what i felt was his betrayal. And during the year gap of our breakup, he always told me how much he missed me and wants me back and how sorry he was. But he never calls me and I'm always the one initiating to chat with him. He did ask me out 5 times during the year gap, and I met him 3 times of the 5. He does sms once a week when I don't sms him. Basically, it feels like he enjoys being a loner. And when I confront him about it, he always say no, he loves spending time with me. But if so, why doesn't he call me out more often?
2006-10-05 07:37:44 · update #1
I don't know if it's because Im needy or it's him...I was there for him too when he felt really down in his dead-end job. In fact, upon my advice, he found a new one and became much happier. I just don't think calling 2-3 times/week suffice as a rs....and that makes me feel miserable because communication ranks the highest on my list in relationships..
2006-10-05 07:55:26 · update #2
Dang... Sometimes I swear girls are BLIND... he has another girl and when he isnt with you, he is with her, He is doing the same thing to her that he is doing to you. Regardless of what you want to believe, its the truth.
2006-10-05 07:34:38 · answer #1 · answered by Angel Eve 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Frankly my dear, I don't think I'd want to spend time with you either. It seems like it's all about you and your weak little feelings.
You broke up with him 3 times.
You're insecure.
You're "quite fragile" and have loads of baggage.
You felt betrayed
You decided it was over, yet you expect him to be 100% available to meet your needs.
You are clingy and needy and seem to begrudge him the pleasure of swimming and beign with his friends.
I don't really see how you'd be much fun to be around. I think you need an attitude adjustment.
2006-10-05 07:37:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
cause he has other plans with other girls no joke this is a classic move guys all do... if they dont want anything to do with you then they wont wanna be friends after the break up... then once you need them, they are there why to get some, he wants to meet face to face, why, cause there is far better chance of sex if your in front of him, than on the phone... and he is "catching a movie alone" no his isn't he is out with either friends or girls, come on wake up and use your functional brain
2006-10-05 07:38:27 · answer #3 · answered by J from O 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This happened to me with a guy also. I found out that he was seeing another girl. He never would do anything with me and seemed like he never wanted to be by me. I kind of figured something was up.
2006-10-05 07:38:38 · answer #4 · answered by lexi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
O, Yes I now those signs.
Girl, he's got someone else and when he's fed up with that one he will come back to you.Then it's up to you to to make the decision to have him back or not.It seems that you can't trust this person, tell him straight what you want and don't get fooled around.
2006-10-05 07:44:45 · answer #5 · answered by Chantal D. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're driving him away with your neediness. It is smothering him, and he feels as if he needs to get away from you so he can occasionally breath.
Your relationship is all about you; you want, you need, you feel, you hurt; please me, do this to prove to me you love me, it's not enough, and it will never be enough. For he will always have to "prove" his love to you through his suffering, or you will make him "pay" in other ways.
If you want someone to love you, you need to love them for who they are, and if you want them to remain with you, you need to make them feel good about themselves doing so. For what do you add to the relationship that you do not want to add?
Unless you start putting your focus upon "him/us" instead of "me/I", you are going to suffer a great number of heart aches in your life. But don't worry, you will always have someone else to blame for them, as you cry yourself to sleep.
2006-10-05 07:47:21 · answer #6 · answered by eric l 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because you are just friends. End of story.
2006-10-05 07:35:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you putting out ???
2006-10-05 07:33:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋