Do you have to be christened to be a godmother?

Question

The child would be c of e but i don't know the family very well and was shocked to be asked.( i met her7 months ago )
I am looking for a get out clause to be honest, as i will not be involved with this familiy in future, so it is unfair to them. I am not religious but i don't belive in lieing also she said she is ony doing it to have a party and this is the reason we never christened our own daughter as it is hypocritical.

Answer 1

I don't think that anyone is going to ask for proof of your being a baptised member of the Church of England, but from what you have said you have every reason to back out of this one. The modern form of service expects you, as Godparent, to subscribe to a system of belief and you are honest enough to say that you are unable to do this with a clear conscience. You also undertake to do everything you can to ensure that the baby is brought up in the Christian faith, as do the parents. Anglican clergymen are supposed to talk carefully to parents who bring babies to be baptised to check that they do in fact believe in the things which they, along with the Godparents, are going to profess to believe in and also that they are serious about bringing their children up in the Christian faith, as what your friends are doing is a mockery. I've found a link for you explaining what the service consists of and you can show it to them. http://www.cofe.anglican.org/lifeevents/baptismconfirm/sectionb.html

Answer 2

It is up to the vicar really as there are no hard rules on this. I have seen many non religious people take the vows as godparents. In your case, I will give you an example of what happened to us - I have a very good friend who we have known for many many years and been through some personal tragedies with. We asked her to be a godmother and she told us that her personal faith had been shaken by the death of her husband and that she could not stand in church and say the things necessary for that role. I really admired her for having the courage to tell me and if anything it stregthened our friendship. Furthermore, she has had at least as much if not more to do with our children than most of the children's Godparents!

Be honest and tell her the truth - that you cannot take on this role. If she is a reasonable person she will understand and if she does not understand, then you didnt want to be involved in the first place! Good luck

Answer 3

I don't see why you would have be to christened, it's not going to make any difference of how well you will look after the child if the worst happens.

the best "get out" clause is honestly, just tell them that you appreciate being asked but you just don't feel that you are the right one for the job since you haven't known each other for that long.

Answer 4

The godmother should be practicing her faith in order to stand for the child. You can very politely tell this to the mother and she should understand why you are declining. She is doing it for the wrong reasons. She should be doing it for the child and not for her own selfish reasons. This is a sacrament that is taken very seriously and should also be undertaken with the intent to rear the child in the faith of the practicing parents.

Answer 5

You usually have to have to have been christened. The main purpose of a god mother is to assist in the child's spiritual up bringing. If you don't want to do it you should tell your friend that you don't feel you can do it.

Answer 6

No. I am a God-Mother to 7 children, 2 of whom are adults now and they still expect me to buy them stuff. I am invited to their family events and they are invited and welcomed to mine. God mother-father-children are like aunts uncles and cousins by marriage as far as I am concerned. Because I am also a minister who is their God-Mother, I take them to church and teach them the love of Christ and yes, I am expected to buy them stuff for school, for good report cards, birthdays, extra curricular activies...I give their parents a break when they need it and they come and tear up my house when they are little and when they get big they call or come to confide in me. You don't need a ceremony or a legal document unless you are also expected to take them in if the parent dies or is incapacitated. In that case, yes you do. You need it notarized or signed by an attorney.

If you don't want to be a God-Mother to this child you are referring to, tell them as soon as possible so that you will not dissappoint them further. That is only fair if you said you would do it before.

Peace and Blessings,
Elder AJ Bedford

Answer 7

You have to be a practicing, baptized & confirmed catholic and able to provide a note from your priest that you are in good standing with the church. You may want to recommend that they use a family member if you are not wanting to serve in this capacity.
We just moved and are due to have our 5 month old baptized, but I would never dream of asking someone in our new city. I've asked my Aunt to fill the bill and she was honored. My husband's mother would love to be named as my son's godmother, but she never converted to Catholocism, even though she raised both of her sons in The Faith.

Good Luck!

Answer 8

In theory yes, but in practice no. I had my children christened but I have not been christened and neither have my prother and sister, who were godparents. I was never asked myself, but my friend was asked once so she just lied. They have no real way of knowing it just depends on whether you are prepared to lie in a church.

Answer 9

Don't worry - you do have to be Christian to be a godmother. At the ceremony there would be an oath you say aloud, about what you believe. Tell you're friend you're flattered but aren't actually Christian and cannot do it. She should have known more about you before asking.

Answer 10

surely it would be unfair to the child if you wear not your self christened