Why is she ashamed ?

Question

I overheard my 15 year old daughter lying to a friend over the phone ,saying that I I work full time downtown.In actuality,I am a stay at home mom of 4--of her and her 3 brothers,ages 7(who is autistic),11,and 12.
I asked her about this,and she would not answer me-- she only complained that I was 'listening in' on her conversation.

'Seem cooler'?!
I've never worked harder in my life than I do right now!!!

Answer 1

She might not see the importance of your job. She might see it as you not doing anything. As she gets older she will appreciate the fact that besides taking care of your home and cooking, you also take care of her and her brothers. I wouldn't be offended by her views, she's a kid after all. Give her ten years and a family of her own, then she'll appreciate what you do.

Answer 2

There is unfortunately a stigma to being a stay-at-home mom. Forever women were told they shouldn't work. When they began to work, they were told they shouldn't just stay home. Neither is correct. A woman should have the freedom to work, or to stay home if that is right for her and her family. But unfortunately few people recognize exactly how hard being a full-time mom is. I am an office worker for 8 hours a day. While I don't have children, I understand that being a mother is 24/7. I think your daughter may just be trying to live up to what she thinks her friends' expectations may be. When she is older she will understand how valuable your job is.

Answer 3

Maybe because society portrays stay at home moms as people who do not work and she wanted her friend to think you had a "job". In reality, stay at home moms sometimes work 10x harder than women who go to the "office" every day. Maybe have a chat with her about what you really do and why you made the decision to stay home. You could also let her Shadow you for 24 hours and see what it is you really do and how hard you do work...bet she will be proud to say you stay home after that!

Answer 4

Maybe she just dont want her friends to know how close of an eye you can keep on her. That would be my only guess, after all you did hear the phone conversation.

Try not to think much of it, she's 15 and that is a hard time, she is going to say and do a lot of stuff but later she will regret them.

Answer 5

Have you never gotten slack for choosing to be a stay-at-home mom? I know a lot of women who make this choice have to defend it the way working moms used to have to defend their choice to work. There are working women, even working moms, who look down on you for your choice; I'm sure you have experienced this a bit.

Your daughter is experiencing it, too. I experienced this as a young adult as well. When I told people that my mother stayed home and didn't work, their attitudes and responses made me feel like they thought my mother was too lazy to work, too uneducated to get a good job, or pampered.

More than likely, your daughter's friends' moms work, and she wants to be like them. Or she has been influenced by society to think that women who really want to be someone should work. She doesn't yet understand how important and valuable the choice you made is.

Answer 6

Maybe most or all of her friends' mothers work and she simply just wants to fit in with her friends. She's in the awkward, peer pressure-filled years of her life so she's not going to see the bigger picture and understand how much harder of a job it is to raise kids full-time (especially 4 kids!). I wouldn't let it bother you too much because she will definitely understand when she has a family of her own and she will appreciate you for having made the commitment.

Answer 7

I agree with the previous respondents that perhaps she doesn't appreciate the importance or demands of what you do. Perhaps your husband, whom I presume works full-time outside the home, could talk to her and present your side of this case.

Regardless of whether or not your husband convinces her or not, the unified message from her parents should be that it is wrong to lie, especially to a friend. And secondly, that as long as she is under your roof, any phone conversation in which she engages IS your business.

Answer 8

Honestly, the first thought I had was this...

Maybe she was angry at you about something & said that you worked full-time downtown, as another way of saying you're a hooker or something of the like. But I don't think she was being serious, & i'm pretty sure her friend knew it too. It's the way a lot of kids thee days talk about others that they are angry with.

I hope I didn't offend you. But sometimes younger kids say things that they don't mean, which is why she simply replies to you with "you were listening to my conversation" - which you were.

Answer 9

Stay at Home MOMS ROCK they work every day all day and get no pay???? Yet they love their job! My mom was a stay at home mom and worked odd jobs now and then to get extra money for us (4) and she took care of my dad too because he got sick for a long time (years) and I appreaciate it now but back then I didnt really talk about her and what she did for a lving. You should have her help you all day one day and see what you do and have her help out so she can see your not just at home and that you work hard for them.

Answer 10

Stay at home mom is probably one of the best and toughest jobs in the world. You should be rewarded for your hard work. My mom really wasn't a stay at home mom. She worked full time and overtime in downtown Chicago. The woman who really raised me was my elderly grandmother.