help...i have a 2 yr old and want another baby?

Question

i just recently started a new relationship. im 20 hes 41.Ive been wanting another baby for 8 or 9 months but i wasnt in a commited relationship and ...now that ive met my bf we have gotten very serious and are even considering marriage. how do i bring up the topicor would it be best to leave the topic alone because he might not want any kids this stage in life. if i got preg w/in 2 yrs he would be mid-60s when the child graduated HS....???

Answer 1

All I can say is you should be honest with him and let him know how you feel and be ready for how he feels if you realy love and still want to marry him then go for it.

Answer 2

Why do you want another baby? Forget about your new guy, I'll get to him in a second. If your current partner weren't in the picture, could you:

1. Raise both your current and new child on your own?
2. Be able to send them both to college, or at least help them finance their education?
3. Be able to take care of them or have a back up plan if you get seriously ill?
4. Earn a decent enough living where you would not have to rely on public assistance of any kind except for in an emergency?

Now about the boyfriend...

1. Does he know that you want another baby?
2. Does he want a baby?
3. If you should become seriosuly ill or die, will he be willing to raise both your kids on his own?

Now the hard part. I know a number of men in their early and mid forties, and I'm willing to bet that none of them would want to start a new family with a twenty-year-old, though they would have no problem with having as much sex with her as they possibly could. They would have no problem in TALKING about marriage because all it is is talk. Have you met this guys family? Has he met yours? Does he already have kids? An ex-wife? You just started this relationship with him; I think it's a little suspicious that you're already talking about marriage and don't believe that he's being sincere. I've heard you say you're in a commited relationship, but have heard nothing about love.

You're too young for any of this. I think you need to focus on maturing and putting yourself in a position where you are self-sufficient. You need to ask yourself why having another child at this point in your life is a good idea. If you and your boyfriend are serious about getting married, then set a date and get married. If you are that serious about him, then you should be able to raise the topic of having a child with him. You also need to consider the possibility that he may not want children; how will you feel about that? If he doesn't want children, DO NOT GET PREGNANT ANYWAY, HOPING HE'LL FEEL DIFFERENTLY ABOUT IT LATER. ALL HE WILL BE IS ANGRY AND RESENTFUL AT BEING DECEIVED.

Really think about this. It's your life, but I think having a child at this point is a bad idea.

Answer 3

Wow. That's quite an age difference. If the two of you have become serious and contemplating marriage, be sure to ask if he wants kids because you do. That can make a great deal of difference in the developing relationship.