My ex is a bit of a momma's boy, some of it I believe out of fear of his mom. His mom a total control freak, suddenly decides she doesn't like me. She makes up lies about me, says horrible things to me, and tells him to stay away from me. He sneaks around to see me but things are strained, not like they use to be. Calls are at a low and so are visits, always excuses why he can't call or come over, a lot of them stupid excuses. He won't stand up to his mom but given the choice of standing up or loosing me he would rather stand up. He plans to but he takes his sweet *** time. Being an emotion wreck for 2 months because of it all I snap at him about it all. He says he loves me, he's sorry, and he'll call me later. Later turns into a week and he won't even answer my messages, we were suppose to go to a concert that week but he never came over. All though apparently he had gone, according to his friends....
2006-10-05 06:49:42 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Finally he emails me saying, he loves me with all his heart but I stressed him out and he doesn't want to talk to me till he cools down. So after all the BS with his mom and him not standing up for us or him trying to do anything to work things out, I'm to be punished for ALL his stress? A week later I decided I've had enough, for the sake of my sanity, I try to call him to tell him something, it's no longer in service. So I email him and tell him he has a week to talk to me or it's over. He never replies, he never calls or anything. So it's been a month now and I'm not longer an emotional wreck like I was. However I thought that once it had ended it would be easier to move on. The more time goes on the more I miss him. I guess most of all I just want to understand how someone can claim to be so in love and then never talk to you again? Not even TRY to fix things?
Has this ever happened to anyone or has anyone done it to someone and can explain why?
2006-10-05 06:50:15 · update #1
He feels like he is stuck between you and his mom. Personally I wish 'mothers' would mind their own damn business. Mama's boys.....sheesh, but that's beside the point.
He feels like he has to please you and she at the same time. Since you two can't come together (probably mostly her fault), it is a source of continuous, unresolved stress for him.
He doesn't have the fortitude to deal with things head-on, so he acquiesces. Dealing with you, his intentions of getting back to you are probably sincere, but his drive for a stress-free situ wins, and you end up waiting in the wings.
He DOES need to learn that HE runs his life, assuming he doesn't actually live with his parent(s), and is not under-age. His mother should know better, but most do not. He doesn't have the 'ability' to find a way to tell her that you are important and that she needs to find a way to deal with you properly. She doesn't like you because you're tasking her 'baby' away probably......sheesh.
I'm afraid you are in a lose-lose situation sweety. You sure don't deserve this, or even need it, but you got it and unfortunately there's not much you can do. In my humble opinion I think you handled everything GREAT......and I'm not just saying that. From the way you described everything I don't think you could have done anything any better. So, if it's any consolation (and it probably isn't [sorry]), you can at least feel as tho you acted rightly and properly with your actions. I don't blame you a bit for your feelings. I'd feel the same way.
I guess, just keep letting things go....I know it hurts you, but staying in it will just be a continuation of what you've been thru. Try and move on now and don't let this sour you. You don't strike me as the kind of person that would. Go find a NICE guy and hang with him. Someone you feel you can count on and that you feel matters to you!
You deserve that.
Good luck to you. I hope it all goes well for you.
2006-10-05 08:57:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
All this is because his mother will not let him have a life of his own. His mother wants to control him. Seems he had been stressed out cause of his mom on one side and you on the other. If he really loved you thenhe would've made time tosee and be with you. You are better off on your own. Goon with your life and meet someone who loes you for you and will always be there in the good and inthe bad.
2006-10-05 06:56:11 · answer #2 · answered by LadySonia 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow he's getting hit from both sides........his mom, and you.
He doesnt stand a chance. No matter what he does, he's wrong.
Soooooooo, I would say, you did the right thing by ending it. It doesnt sound like it's gonna work out. And I dont think you'd be happy with it if it did. Sounds like he doesnt quite have his backbone lined up just yet.
2006-10-05 06:55:33 · answer #3 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
listen , some boys dont have the spine ,so they cant stand up for their rights. i had a botfriend like this. i was so confused with him. he used to tell me that he loved me but he also said that he can never marry me. i was so confused. i doubted his love then i doubted my love. but at the end i found out that he is a chicken ****.stay far away from this loser. he can never make a decision by himself, he needs his mommy by his side.you need a man, not a baby like this. move on sister , he doesnt deserve you.
2006-10-05 07:06:08 · answer #4 · answered by atahsina 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
honey.....just move on...i am sure he like you...but the emotional wreck that he has been dealing with....from mother dearest...wont go away...sometimes people tend to make other happy..not caring about themselves...if this guy is that attached to the t it...let it go...you don't need to be a mother or have the drama....you are better than that...find someone with no strings attached..like the umbilical cord...and live for you two...
2006-10-05 06:54:10 · answer #5 · answered by Chocolate_Bunny 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow...that`s pretty harsh.But if you think that things shouldn`t have turned out like this,then it`s time for you to tkae action.Don`t wait until your boyfriend does something about it.It`s up to you to save your relationship.Go see his mother and tell her how you feel.Make her understand what she`s making you go throught.
2006-10-05 07:16:03 · answer #6 · answered by loverboydx 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds pretty childish,and confused.Best you went your seperate ways.He obviously dosen't know what love is and has commitment issues.
Trust me your better off,and it will get easier.Time heals everything,and what doesn't kill you will only make you stronger.
Stay busy and active ,it helps.Good luck
2006-10-05 07:21:04 · answer #7 · answered by seandebra17 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's still a mamma's boy and you can't change that.
2006-10-05 06:57:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋