2006-10-05 05:38:26 · 18 answers · asked by :-) 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
you've got to grieve, my friend. Ending a relationship that lasted that long is literally like something dies inside of you. So it is important to grieve, just as if a loved one died.
In many ways, a loved one DID die. I'm in a relationship for over a year and a half now, and I have no question that it is me, my girlfriend, AND the relationship in it together. It is almost like a third entity called "the relationship" gets created between the two of you.
Now that third entity, which you both nurtured and cared for is now dead. Seriously... dead. So treat it like that, and be willing to cry my friend. We guys often like to pretend we are above emotions, or should be able to get over them easily. Not true... if anything we have it worse then women, because most of them are in touch with their hearts.
Here is a link to the 5 stages of grief:
http://www.way2hope.org/5_stages_of_grief_and_loss.htm
I hope this helps you. For me, I found that it is easier to just go through it and truly FEEL, rather then try to pretend. The pain will last a lot less time if you just surrender to it.
Good luck. Just let go, cry into a pillow, beat the pillow... something. And know that these emotions aren't bad. They are all a part of this thing called life.
2006-10-05 05:46:47 · answer #1 · answered by Jericho 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
2 years is a long relationship, and the longer the relationship, the harder it is, often times, to get over it. Its going to take time, obviously, for this feeling to pass. You may always have some feeling for this person in your life, but you must come to terms that it is over and that both of you must move on.
I have found in my experience that being around friends and family is the best medicine. However, i did ask, in the beginning, that my friends and i hang out alone, as in, they didnt bring their significant others along with them. I remember once right after my 3 year relationship ended where i was supposed to meet a friend for lunch. When i got there to meet her, her boyfriend was there. I would not have been upset any other time, but it was a week after my relationship ended, and seeing them together and kissing and everything, well needless to say it didnt help me feel any better,
So spend some quality time with those you really care about and those who care about you. Feel free to confide in people you trust, especially if you have a lot on your mind.
Eventually, you will ease away from the feelings and broken-heartedness, and you will find a new mate.
Best of luck to you and your future
2006-10-05 05:44:22 · answer #2 · answered by Mabry M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know a break-up can actually be a good thing. we tend to do a self evaluation. (Don't be to hard on yourself.) Be honest with yourself, if you find that there is something that you would like to change then do it. It is also important to celebrate the unique and good things about you.This will help you to get to know who you are, which will in turn make you more confidant in everything you do , not just in dating. this will also help you to make better choices in woman, jobs, leisure, everything. ( this is why getting older is a good thing) Then go out and do something really different and exhilarating that you would have NEVER done before the break up. This will give you something to think about other than the hurtful parting, and allow you to realize something new about your personality. And treat yourself to a new outfit or hair style or pedicure just go pamper yourself, where you have a good chance of meeting new woman. Believe me woman LOVE to comfort men that are going through a break-up. Of course don't rush into a new relationship right away, but some new "girl friends" will be a good thing! Also say a prayer to GOD that he allows you except this change (the break up) in your life and to be able to move on to bigger and better things! And before you know it, you will forget about your break-up! I hope the best for you!
2006-10-05 06:07:22 · answer #3 · answered by angel76 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, ive been quite a few serious break up's, and i know some times it feels like your world is coming to an end, and you dont know how to move on, and it feels like youll never be able to.
what i can tell you is that you need not to see this person again, avoid contact, avoid seeing each other, if you know this person will be some where,dont go.
go out as much as possible. meet new people (not relationship wise), make new friends, but only friends, hangs out with your friends as much as possible. if your a party person, party as much as possible, do what you enjoy doing best as much as possible. this way you will think less and less of the person your heart is broken over, and you will start to enjoy life again the way you did before this person even ever entered your life. you will notice how much fun it can be to be single.
you wont, and never will get over some one quickly after a two year relationship, but there are ways to avoid most of the pain, most of the time, for example doing what i just said above.
keep your mind distracted. get rid of photos, or any thing that reminds you of this person.
2006-10-05 05:46:58 · answer #4 · answered by leyla 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey, I was in the same situation 4 years ago. . .& yes. . like one of the above answers. . you never fully mend that broken heart internally. . .but, if you have no chance of getting that love back. . .you have to condition your mind to forget & move on ..(i kno its hard. . I had 2 to do it..) .. even after 4 years I still feel for her..
but i know we will never be ..coz she doesnt want it .. it sucks. . but thats what i have to live with. I tried to go out with others.. but deep inside, i couldnt let go & didnt get anwhere with the new relationships. . Like the old saying Time will heal all wounds. . I mean I was worse like 2 years ago. . but now, i have come to accept the fact. . what is done is done . .& just look towards the future. . hopefully I will fall in love again. . .
u just gotta do it. Throw out all her **** & dont let the things that remind u of her come in the way. . .Just be strong & keep telling ur self .. u gotta move on & its is over .. Condition your subconsious mind to forget., maybe hate .. (just dont do any harm) get a new girl. . get a hobby .. keep ur mind busy. .
remember, an Idle brain is the devil's workshop..
good luck 2 u. . .
2006-10-05 05:48:15 · answer #5 · answered by Dj Enigma 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well a broke heart is always hard to repair you see i was in love with this guy for 5 years and he broke my heart so bad, but what i did was i talked to my friends, listened to music, wrote, and i tried not to think of him and within months i thought of him less and less there pretty much isnt anything you can do but just go on with you day to day life you can try to date but chances are your relationship will end up failing if you still have feelings for another just pretty much take things slow and in time everything will get better trust me i have had alot of crushes and heartbreaks for a 17 yr old i know it sucks but all you can do is let time take care of it and learn a lesson from it
well hope this helps
2006-10-05 05:45:38 · answer #6 · answered by Moose1123 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
moving on is very hard i should know . but the best thing dude is to start dating get back up on your high horse and search for a beautiful women who you know you canbe happy with she doesn't have to be thin just so you know. just find your happiness and everything will be ok. it will be hard but you knwo what you like and whatg you have learned from that relationship you can use to not look for in the new girl
2006-10-05 05:41:53 · answer #7 · answered by Da Q 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be strong and think of you don't have to deal with them any more. Think about the things were making your relationship not working and move on. It will go away. I promise.
2006-10-05 05:41:40 · answer #8 · answered by Alisha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My best advice to you is just to make yourself happy. I've been in your situation, but you need to gather up your friends, go have fun, keep yourself busy...The right woman will surely come around...she may already be right under your nose. Don't dwell on it, you'll go crazy.
2006-10-05 05:42:40 · answer #9 · answered by moi 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well moving on is always hard. you will never get over it you just need to find a friend you can talk to, and start dating. eventually it will get better. just take your time. rushing into something is never good.
2006-10-05 05:43:10 · answer #10 · answered by precious_mommy_of_1 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋