My guy and I have been together for two years. And recently it seems like he gets mad over the simpliest things and then he wont talk to me for a couple days and says it was my fault. He doesn't want to have sex any more saying he doesn't feel like it and when i get off work in the mornings i catch him looking at porn and he says he looks at it all night. I don't feel like he finds me attractive anymore. I love him so much but how much of this can one person take?
2006-10-05 04:57:45 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I couldn't believe it when I read your question. I have been dating my girl for 2 years and if seams like the same things are happening in our relationship, exept for the porn. First of all I don't think looking at porn means that he doesnt find you attractive. I think the reason why the sex is missing and the fights happening are because you have been together for so long and are just getting tired, and annoyed of each other, it happens, but have no fear, try to fix it. You have to get out more, start having fun with each other again. Suprise each other with things, start over like when you first started dating. GOOD LUCK!
2006-10-05 05:13:45 · answer #1 · answered by BigJCliff 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not alone, sweetie. I am a guy, and i've been in a relationship for over a year and a half. I think I can help shed light on this for you.
We men are strange, and very different from women. You have been with him for two years so this is obviously your chosen guy. You want to be with him, and you probably don't enjoy it when you are apart.
A few months ago I noticed something similar happening with my fiancee (we got engaged 3 months ago). I was getting frustrated with her, yelling sometimes, and I even started thinking she was causing my pain. I even thought of breaking up with her.
What I realized was that we had been together too much. You see, once the honeymoon ends in a relationship something happens. Women want to be with their guy as much as possible, and men actually need space. We need time to "reset" ourselves and remember why we fell in love with you in the first place.
This is why you hear so many stories about relationships coming to an end when the girl has had enough, and then two weeks later the guy is calling day and night saying "I can't live without you baby!" Because he has reset, and he has realized what he would be losing.
SO here is my advice to you. And my heart goes out to you... really. First, know that he probably feels like &#$% for what he is doing. Like me, he is probably thinking to himself, "How could I be this much of a dick?! I love this woman... right?" If you have been together for two years, he obviously has a heart and is a good guy. So just know that this is killing him too, and he is doing what ALL GUYS DO. He is trying to figure it out. He is racking his brain trying to understand why he feels this way.
You see, what often happens when a guy is like this is that you as a woman want to be closer to him. You ask yourself, "What happened? Maybe if I love him even more..."
The strange thing is that it is your love for him that has him saturated, as weird as that may be. He knows you love him, and only because of TIME he has lost touch with why he loves you. So when you come closer, he gets even more frustrated, because he wonders why he doesn't want it.
So my advice to you is this sweetie: Find a way to leave for a while. Find a friend, a sister, a brother, or your parents... somewhere you can go to give you two some time apart. And tell him why. Let him know that you want things to work between you, and you hope that some time apart may help.
And if he snaps at you, or gets angry, it means he is REALLY saturated. So perhaps add... "You know I love you. But you are going to lose me if this keeps up. There is only so much I can take." Then kiss him if he will let you, and leave.
This will be his wake up call. I promise you it probably won't even be a week before he has realized what he might lose.
Bless you, and I wish you the best of luck.
2006-10-05 12:17:31 · answer #2 · answered by Jericho 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's had enough. Take the hint. A man who spends all night looking at porn when he has a woman is pathetic. That 'its all your fault' crap is garbage, don't stand for it. Why do you want to stay with this loser? Love is mutual and makes both parties feel better, this isn't love on your part, this is habit and its one habit he is going to break for you. This romance for sure has run its course on his part. If he isn't cheating on you now, he will be shortly, cut your losses and end it on your own.
2006-10-05 12:03:41 · answer #3 · answered by justa 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in my opinion i would say put him on a couch and slap him around... i dont find that ok at all 2 years together you two should have a way of talking about things...and dont feel like oyu are not hot anymore let him see what he is missing and if nothing changes give him the boot.... guys are jerks and they have a way of making you feel unwanted or unattractive dont fall for that
2006-10-05 12:01:39 · answer #4 · answered by maria f 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is not right. Your a member of this relationship to and you deserve the respect of him telling you whats wrong. Men can be craby worse then women sometimes. I know you love him, but you need to love yourself more and know what your worth it. I think you should tell him you two need a break until he is man enough to say what's on his mind. I know you most likely won't but sometimes you need to take the upper hand. Please take my advice into consideration. The sex thing is odd, it would be killing me as well. Talk to him one more time, if he doesn't want to goodbye until he grows up....good luck love yourself more.
2006-10-05 12:05:58 · answer #5 · answered by AnnaG 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he doesn't want to have sex and isn't 90 years old then I would say the attraction is probably gone. It is probably time to let him go and for you to find someone that will give you what you want
2006-10-05 12:00:23 · answer #6 · answered by dmxdragon2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You either need to have a long sit down talk with him about where your relationship is going or you need to break up with him. Obviously something is wrong in the relationship and if you guys can figure it out or solve it, don't waste your time.
2006-10-05 11:59:35 · answer #7 · answered by Annette J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesnt sound like he wants to be in the relationship any longer. And if he makes you feel this badly, than you shouldnt either.
2006-10-05 11:59:43 · answer #8 · answered by JC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The hard truth is that you are headed for a breakup. Your guy is determined to make you walk out. If you really love him just face him and ask wtf is wrong .. watever it is u r better wen its over .. all the best
2006-10-05 12:00:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is he on drugs or seeing someone else maybe
2006-10-05 12:01:59 · answer #10 · answered by kimberly f 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋