Me, My Boyfriend, and My Dad??

Question

ok... so lets start off.... me and my dad have this GREAT RELATIONSHIP.. he lets me do as i please as long as im good and get good grades.. I GET STRAIGHT A's.... any how.... i recently told my dad i had a BF.... so he's like YEAH... u can hang out with him..... he can come over to the house,... but if u go to his house,.. u have to take a friend!! ok..... so its been about a week n a half since i told my dad about him! This week is HOMECOMING WEEK!! U KNOW?? every1 just wants to go out and have fun... so i called my dad last night to check in.. he's like.... WHAT DO U WANT??? I WAS LIKE IM CALLING TO CHECK IN! HE'S LIKE WHY DO U EVEN BOTHER??? YOUR ALREADY OUT OF CONTROL! YOUR FRIEND AND BF IS RUINING U!! now... i feel really bad..... cuz i havent talked to my dad in like 5-6 days..... do u think he's jealous??? OR.... what do u think is wrong??? what can I do to change this??? I dont want my father feeling this way....I love him... and he's always gonna be #1 in my BOOK!!!

Answer 1

First, what is all this "like" business? Anyway..your dad misses you! In a way he is jealous, but not in a pervert way. He valued your relationship and now BF comes along and Dad is chopped liver. Set aside one day a week where you and dad spend time together. KEEP THE COMMUNICATION OPEN.

Answer 2

First and foremost you really can't change anywthing with force, the best you can do is sit him down and talk to him. Your dad has issues with letting you go allowing you to grow up into a young woman. All parents do (trust me my girlfriend is going through the same siht). So N E Wayz. Explain what you said to us to him, he'll understand and appreciate the fact that you can be adult and mature about the situation.It's gonna take some time for the issue to fully settle in and take effect. its just a matter of time. If i were you i wouldn't let it bother you, your dad has a problem with your decsions, that means its HIS problem there no use in you stressing yourself out about it, in turn you'll eventaully ruin your relationship with your boyfriend, and possible homcoming. Again if he feels upset there really isn't much you can do except break u with you BF, sop hangin around your friends, and shadowing him around all day.... But thats not how life works. I can tell your still pretty young and its only gonna get worse as you get older, Your dad is just going to have to accept the fact that you are growing up and will make your own decisions the least he can do is feel reassured that he has in fact raised you with a head on your shoulders and support you in all aspects of your life. That s what parents are for.not to belittle you and make you feel bad about yourself. Thats just not fair. If anything you should be pissed that he is acting very imature about the situation But its best you forgive and forget causehe'll eventually get over the fact that you do have a seperate life away from your family and will always make your own decsions... If you think its bad now just predict how he'll act when marriage is in question . So just talk tohim and explain how you feel and how he is making youfeel he'll understand trust me after all he does love you unconditionally. I wish you the best of luck.

~Cheers

Answer 3

Are you the oldest or only child ? I just went thru having my oldest move out given she was the first I didn't know what it would feel like. letting go of the first one is a learning exp. ours got ugly. so if your the first I think your screwed. maybe go slower. avoid mystery as much as possible!!!!! Invite your dad on a couple of outings. If your bf has a problem with it, well you should know the rest. I too am a free spirit parent but found the transition really brutal. The moving on of someones child is to me akin to a death in the family. Realize that a parent child relationship is deeper than ANY OTHER. and to have your life start growing means his is lessening. Having been there is heart ripping,and hard to understand. My other four kids will be easier cause I've seen it before but the first, what a shot in the heart!!!!!!

Answer 4

I think you hit the nail on the head, your dad is jealous. It sounds like he thinks you are replacing him and that you are not going to need him anymore. It sounds as though you have a great relationship. So you should be able o sit down and have a heart to heart, not serious but with some laughs in there as well, and explain to him that no matter what he will always be your daddy, yes use that word, it makes him feel even more special, :). Tell him you will always need him, need his shoulder, his advice, and his caring words. But as you grow up you are also going to need experiance with friends and situations that he can't offer as a father, do get what I am saying? Try not to make it such a serious talk, but all the while reassure him that no matter what, he will always be number one and you would never abandon him. That is all he is worried about. At least that is what MY dad said to me, when we went through the same thing. Good luck and God bless!

Answer 5

Honey, the first thing you need to do is sit down with Dad face to face when he has plenty of time on his hands. TALK to him very openly and honestly about everything going on in your life and tell him how much you LOVE him and assure him he will always be #1 in your book even when your 50yrs old. Let him know the things you would like to do while your in school ( boys, dates, dances, friends. etc.) and find out if he has any problems or objections to these requests. If he has, ask him what the both of you can do to reach a compromise so you can do some of these things, yet making sure he feels assured and comfortable about it all and your safety. The safety of our children is the most important thing to a parent and why some of your activities are restricted by us!!!! It would be a good idea for your parents to meet the BF and maybe at some point his parents, so they know you are going to be in a safe environment when you go there. My daughter had to go through the same process with us when she was in high school.(We had to know friends, BF, families, etc.) then when we knew she'd be okay, she could go out with them, but she also had a curfew to follow until she was 18.
LOL and best wishes to you!!!!!

Answer 6

You should talk to your Dad. It doesn't matter who makes the first move, you need to talk to him ASAP. If this is your first boyfriend, your Dad may be freaking out a little. Before you talk to him:

1. Just because your Dad said you could go over to your bf's house, just as long as you took a friend, doesn't mean you should be with him 24/7. Just because we've been given the OK to do something doesn't mean we should all the time.

2. I know you're excited to be with your boyfriend, but be sure to spend some time with your Dad. Compromise by having your boyfriend over for dinner with the family so they get to know him and are comfortable around him.

3. I don't know how old you are, but parents are very concerned about their kids having sex...and they should be! It's another example of "just because you can, doesn't mean you should." If you are sexually active, then be smart about it; see your doctor, get on a reliable form of birth control, always use condoms. If you aren't sexually active, even better. There's plenty of time for that in the future and it's nothing you need to rush.

Ask your Dad to go on a date with you. Plan a picnic or go to a local burger or pizza place; you drive (if you have your license) and pay. Let him know what time you'll pick him up. Bring him flowers and look nice. Talk to your Dad one on one. Tell him you know that he loves you and that you love him. Ask him to tell you what he's concerned about, and LISTEN to him. Reassure him that you're going to continue to be a good daughter and get good grades.

This isn't an easy time for either of you. You're growing up, your Dad is freaking because you're growing up. Also keep in mind that your Dad was a teenage boy once and hasn't forgetten how they can be. He's probably feeling that he needs to be more protective of you now.

Finally, boyfriends will come and go. Your Dad will always love you; you will grow up and have your own life, just be sure to keep your Dad in your corner.

Answer 7

Have the bf come to your house and hang out. And make time for him too. I know when you have a bf it's hard to be away from him but your dad needs some love too and right now he feels left out. Make a date with him just the two of you.

Answer 8

tell your dad he is always gonna be number 1. he should have been the first one you told right then and there with all his yelling. once you tell him hes always gonna be first in your book, tell him you want to set aside some you and him time. just the two of you cause i think thats whats wrong. after you tell him that listen to his concerns and see what can be done. you sound like a good daughter. not many kids check in these days to keep their parents from worrying.

Answer 9

well...after he sort cools off...talk to him..tell him that you;ll call more often and you're sorry..he's probably feeling insecure that maybe now you've got a bf and all..you gonna spend less time with him..you're growing up gal..things like these are bound to happen....but it's good that you're self aware..of the situation ..and that you love your dad so much...to wanna sort this thing out..and make him just know that although things are not gonna exactly be the same ...you love him more than ever..

Answer 10

He only says this b/c he cares and is jealous b/c your growing up and he thinks you replaced him with your bf and he thinks my little girl doesn't need me if she has him. So u can't change this just show your dad that your still his little girl and eventually he'll come around.Good Luck.