Question for Atheists and Agnostics about Morality?

Question

Last night and I am hanging out with several friends and go outside to have a conversation with a good friend who happens to be a Christian. He knows that I am not religious and begins to discuss religion/morals with me. He asks me a hypothetical question saying "Let's say, for example, that we got married tomorrow. If I wanted to be intimate with other women, how would you oppose that?" It's obvious that he thinks the only answer to the question is religious and/or biblical. I attempted to explain to him that non-religious does not equal immoral and that just because a person is not religious does not mean that they do not have morals.

I've never encountered a situation like this as I never discuss my religious beliefs with friends (and this would be why). Now I feel like I cannot discuss my beliefs with my friends because of these types of reactions. I'm sure other Atheists and Agnostics have encountered situations like these. My question is how to deal?

Answer 1

You probably can't do much about it. They have it ingrained into their brains that atheist=immoral. Even if you act as an example of morality and show that atheists act moral, at that point he'll claim it's only because you're a Christian but you just don't want to admit it. They'll find any reason to hold on to that belief. :(

Answer 2

This problem is not only apparent with those who are atheist or agnostic, it also occurs when your religious beliefs do not coincide with the "others." Being Wiccan, I come across what you are speaking about all the time when I am faced with those who are a part of one of the three major monotheistic religions.

The answer is really very simple. "Actions speak louder than words." Consequently, when faced with a situation like this one, I would counter with, "Have you ever seen me do something that you would consider immoral?" The answer will be "no," in most cases. When you get your "no," then you can express something that is true for us all.

If you are a normal human being, someone who was raised in what would be considered a normal family and you have no major psychiatric pathologies such as psychopathy, you have an internal monitor of your actions. You know right from wrong through your life experience. It's those experiences that monitor your actions and reactions to the world around you. In other words, you can write the 10 Commandments but that does not necessarily mean that you will follow them even if you do call yourself a Christian, Jew or Muslim. The only thing that will keep you on the straight an narrow is your own internal guidelines. Guidelines that you learned while growing up.

If this does not convince, mention Jimmy Swaggart. He broke one of the 10 Commandments while holding himself up as a preacher of Christianity. Something obviously went terribly wrong with his own personal internal behavior monitor. Fact is, it probably happened many times before but was not made public until he was caught.

Good luck with this! And know that you are not alone.

Answer 3

I wish I could provide an answer but when I told my "christian" friends that I was an atheist, they turned their backs on me like I had a contagious disease. So much for the whole "love thy neighbor" philosophy.

I don't discuss the fact that I am atheist with most people because they are usually ignorant of what an atheist is and will think of it as some sort of evil "devil worshipping".

Your experience is not alone. Morgan Spurlock did a show called 30 Days and one episode dealt with an atheist being put in a religious household. Very interesting stuff, and it shows firsthand the type of hatred and discrimination an atheist will receive, particularly in a "christian" community.

Answer 4

i have had to deal with this several times,i have learned that remaining silent on my beliefs is the best policy,most people cant see beyond their own personal beliefs when it comes to morals,which is very sad,the idea that only religious people are moral is absurd,when most religious people are the ones who hurt and are deceiving,(that's been my experience)my advice is to just be silent and refuse to be a part of any discussion like that,you know you have morals,i know you do,i get that from your question(I'm a nonbeliever and i have very high morals)
but just let people go on believing what they will according to religion,because if they don't want to hear or discuss anything beyond bibles and versus and fire and brimstone,then its obvious where they stand,and its obvious that they cant possibly be open to the fact that religion and "gods" do not equal morality

Answer 5

Unless you have freinds that ENJOY spirited religious discussions, or who are also not religious, it's best just to avoid religious discussions. That's generally good advice for everyone, not just the nonreligious.

Regarding the question your friend asked, it's easy. Jealousy is natural. If your lover sleeps around behind your back, you are likely to end up losing them to someone else, or to end up with a disease, and for men, you may end up fathering some other guys child. All of these are undesirable. But why not turn the table on your friend?

Ask him, "ok then, so you're telling me that the only reason you don't go around killing, raping, and robbing is because god told you not to?" Make him realize that his position casts himself as inately sociopathic.

Answer 6

It depends on your own morals, or as I like to call it, your personal ethics. Do you agree with monogamy? Do you disagree with monogamy? Why/Why not? There are logical reasons for adhering to either concept. For instance, in todays society, I don't think monogamy is necessary, but I adhere to it because I know that I am a jealous person and couldn't deal with the idea of my wife with another man. Out of respect for that, I choose to remain monogamous to her. If I was comfortable with the idea, I would probably not be monogamous. I hope that helps.

Answer 7

This is the best argument for atheist morality i have heard. Morality is based in causality.

Actions have effects. Morality is predicting negative effects and acting responsibly to avoid an outcome that could hurt others, yourself, or society as a whole.

Per the example above, you could say that it is immoral to cheat because for one, he is disrespecting the agreement that you have made (marriage) and in that way causing you pain for his self gratification.

Answer 8

I do not try to explain why I have rules, I merely explain the rules.

Being drawn into a conversation about why we have "morals" is pointless. Thumpers don't have any better morals than anyone else, so their claim of having superior morals lacks foundation.

Answer 9

A gentle, chiding deflection can quite make the point -- "Hey, you can ask me that question when the ring's on my finger."

Be gentle and just refuse to have the conversation. They can't possibly begin to understand if they've so thoroughly defined their ability to be good on their book -- they're no longer operating morally or immorally, they're operating amorally, without thought, just because 'that is what it says'.

Answer 10

people have a a lot deeper foundation of morality that has allowed us to live to inform the tale as a species probable for thousands of thousands of years; easily a lot longer than the few thousands to thousands of years of the religions you write about. the concept of morality isn't specially what's geared up in through our senses; fairly that's not elementary-stressed out into our genes. This genetic code instills the options of relations/tribal/race instruments positively preserved our genetic historic past and promoted cooperation, a mandatory requirement in a huge animal that does no longer have outstanding actual skills. we are genetically programmed to be a social animal, in simple terms as are canines and lions yet no longer cats and albatrosses (fairly some the time). the concept of 'morality' is there. The taboo antagonistic to killing one yet another is way deeper than faith because each and every hand is major for the crew's survival. Ditto sharing elements, sturdy relationships, elevating kids properly and so on. the position killing is condoned is safe practices of that unit antagonistic to unrelated those who might want to purpose to gather its elements for themselves. Conversely, that's to attain yet another crew's elements. The death penalty and conflict are because of this in-built favor. faith's contribution is to positioned a lot of this historic lore on paper, and to operate some new lores of its own to ensure that's eye-catching to its followers and ensnares skill for its leaders. yet religions is an exceedingly present day blow-in and sits like a veneer over the a lot extra historic foundation, regularly claiming the genetic foundation isn't there in any respect. yet remove faith and manage the newborn with love and knowledge and he or she will be in a position to grow to be someone in simple terms as moral as if she'd been raised in a convent using a blend of nature (~ninety%) and nurture (10%).