I've been with this guy for about three months now. In bed I am a very active person and I do my best to please my man. The problems we have been having lately is that he is getting off before me. It happened once and I let it go. It happened twice and so I brought it up. After the third time I was really irritated. I know he feels bad as he followed the third incident asking me if I thought he was a bad lover. I don't think he is a bad lover and I told him that I just don't know why he can't hold on until I get there. Now he insists on being in control the entire time, which is fine but I like to be in control as well. How can I fix this cause I know I may have hurt him a little by being vocal. I want us to enjoy the sex we have together but not in a tense environment.
2006-10-05 04:34:31 · 8 answers · asked by Freespirit 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If you continue to insult is ego, ( and to a man, anything negative is insulting ) he isnt going to be interested in you or pleasing you at all. He will likely find someone else. So suggest additional four play before sex. Have him perform oral with alot of touching, and if you would rather get off with him, have him bring you to the point, then pull back and finish the job all by himself. This way you both gett off together.
2006-10-05 04:39:04 · answer #1 · answered by rebecwi3 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I tell you what: I have been criticised by my husband at the beginning of our marriage, cause I was not satisfying him. I have learnt to be very active and he says I have become the best lover he has ever had, cause I was humble to take the criticism and work on improving, but I tell you what: I have never been able to forgive him and I still keep hard feelings against him for that. I know he had his reasons but I ressent him for not having just given me some time to adjust. I used to think that being with me would mean more to him than it really did. I found out it was all more about performance than about love. So be careful.
2006-10-05 11:42:08 · answer #2 · answered by Graça 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Although it sounds awful, masturbation can help him fix this a bit. It wont be a miracle cure, but it can do some good. If he's coming to fast, he needs to masturbate and learn where his point of no return is. When he senses that he's close, he should slow down the stroke.
In sex you can do this by switching positions. So if you two are in missionary or doggy style, swith to woman on top where you are controlling the pace. Slow it and dont ride like a crazy women. Go for deeper and slower penetration, this can keep him from coming so fast.
Hope I made sense and it helped!
2006-10-05 11:40:10 · answer #3 · answered by moderncutthroat 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As a general 1 person will get off before the other. Now there are numerous ways in which in which he in turn can last longer. Kegel technique, Start & Stop. and some others. In addition to that women are generally rather easily stimulated orally adn perhaps he should spend some more time peasing you that when and when you are getting close to climax then he can switch it up and do some penetration.
2006-10-05 11:38:59 · answer #4 · answered by Mike 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you're not being a good teacher. Tell him what he needs to do for you to "arrive" and after you do, then take control and get him off. Knowing what you know now, you can avoid the activies that get him off too quickly and focus on the ones that, not only excite him but help you orgasm. Men really don't need very much to get excited, but their egos have to be catered to, espcially when you are conveying that he is a less-than-adequate lover.
2006-10-05 11:40:58 · answer #5 · answered by Lesleann 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
the bedroom is the last place to hold competitions. because in competitions there is a winner and a looser. So stop competing and start caring loving sharing. no games allowed unless both agree in advance
2006-10-05 11:40:36 · answer #6 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The male ego can be fragile, especially when it comes to sex. We want to please a woman just as much, and when we can't do it, it really makes me feel bad.
2006-10-05 11:39:03 · answer #7 · answered by bigfree_2005 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
sounds to me like you are ready for marriage.......let him please you orally and manually before insertion or at least bring you very close to orgasm.......also if he were to masturbate earlier in the day he could last longer but i have never found it very feasible to do this there are only so many hours in the day and we do have to work.......but maybe hes a better multitasker than most does he commute to work:)
2006-10-05 11:48:14 · answer #8 · answered by funkyk 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋