my friend is moving in with her boyfriend of 2 months and i really don't think nits a good idea.
waayy too fast.
2006-10-05 04:33:16 · 18 answers · asked by ♥Brown Eyed Girl ♥ 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Definitely not a good idea its way too fast. Even if she says she Loves him. She is still in the infatuation stage she cannot make a proper informed decision she needs to take a step back and thin what she's really doing. Dating someone is one thing but living with them is another. He still needs to prove himself.
2006-10-05 04:37:50 · answer #1 · answered by Dee 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
It really depends. it is not so much that it is a bad idea, it really depends on how their relationship is. (you can pass this to her if you want).
When you move in with a guy you have been with for 2 months, you are still in the "honeymoon" phase of the relationship. This is when even his farts seem attractive. Why, because you are in love!! Oh it's so wonderful! Butterflies and dewdrops, and all that stuff.
Rather then if it is a good idea or not, here are some things for her to watch for:
1) When the honeymoon ends, they will see each other's realness. All the looking good for each other ends. You see each other for who you really are. And, I'm sorry to say, she may not like who he really is. He has his best game face on during the honeymoon, and he can do no wrong.
2) The trouble with living together is that it raises the possibility of "depolarization". David Deida wrote a book called "The way of the superior man" and he talks about how when you spend a LOT of time with your woman, you begin to naturally find her less attractive. This is actually very natural, and it is because you get used to her. So it is important while living together to have separate interests, or jobs. ESPECIALLY for us guys, because we need the time away to remember why we love you women.
3) Moving in together is the surest way to see if this is a relationship that will work, because you cut through the bull&$%# much quicker. However, when you are together, if you have bought things together, etc. it makes it harder to separate. No easy, "It's time we break up" conversations in a cafe. No... you actually have to manage getting separate places, etc.
The bottom line is if they are willing to take this risk, give them your blessing. Just make sure that she knows that she hasn't seen this guy fully yet. She still has stars in her eyes. Ask her to look beyond the stars for a moment, and be honest with herself.... do I really see myself being with this guy for the long term?
As a friend, the best thing you can do is be there to support her. Acknowledge her for being willing to take a risk :) It's a powerful thing to do.
Hope this helps.
2006-10-05 04:45:23 · answer #2 · answered by Jericho 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I know what you mean but due to housing problems where I was I moved in with my boyfriend about 4 months after we started going out (we had been friends for 8 months previously) He proposed at 4 months and we got married a few weeks ago, 2 years later.
Maybe he is the right one for her? Even if he isn't she can always move out again if there are problems.
2006-10-05 04:36:25 · answer #3 · answered by shinysequinz 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I have seen all kinds of things. my ex husband has lived 6 years with a woman and it is a way longer than the much we have lived together as man and wife. It depends a lot.
He has actually 'moved in' with her to her bedroom at her parents house shortly after meeting her.
If she has no religious restraints, and she can move on with your life if it does not work... I mean, I would just not created too much dependency (such as financial dependence). If I were her I would also MAKE SURE I would not get pregnant, etc.
But two sure things: They DO NOT know who they really are yet, but if they move in together, they are bound to find out!
2006-10-05 05:04:25 · answer #4 · answered by Graça 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Thats probably a bad idea. Im not trying to scare or offened ur friend in any way but what if he just wants to use her or after a month of living together he ends up breaking up with her cause hes annoyed with her or something.
2006-10-05 04:40:13 · answer #5 · answered by AskingAlexandria_91 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No, because if you dont now any of his bad habits. If he irritates you so much that you have to break up with him so you don't kill him. You should sleep a couple of times, so you know what your up against. Then you guys are going to talk about how are u going to rearrange the house or apartmant. Their might not be enough space for all of your things.
2006-10-05 04:43:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
waay to fast. quite scary, actually. i had a guy that started talking about that kind of stuff...ahhhh! too much. definitely something you don't want to rush, because breaking up is like divorce when you live like that. and it's very likely they'll break up, anyway. how can you possibly know someone well enough to be your roomate AND lover after 2 months?? hm...
2006-10-05 04:46:42 · answer #7 · answered by carlaerickson 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't see how it could be. 2 months is not long enough to get to know anybody. You need to know how somebody is going to react under any situation before you move in with them. Does he get angry at certain things? Does have bad habits? How does he deal with your habits? All impossible to know after just a couple of months.
2006-10-05 04:38:06 · answer #8 · answered by Mitch B 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Definitely not a good idea. If his domicile needs cleaning let him pay a cleaning service to do the job.
2006-10-05 05:07:48 · answer #9 · answered by acmeraven 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO NOT A GOOD IDEA!! but shes gonna do what she wants just be a friend and be there when she finds out who she really is.
2006-10-05 04:39:20 · answer #10 · answered by sadestmomever 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋