I lived with my bfr. for over a year and a half. I really didn't want to move in with him, cuz I don't believe in cohabitation, he was just very halpful under my circumstances. Now, he never mantioned anything in the long run, and it's REALLY BOTHERING ME. It makes me angry inside and I treat him badly. I don't really know how to deal with this anger, since his noncommiting behavior is degrading for me. Does anybody have any suggestion for my situation???
P.S. I am not sure I want to marry him, it's just the whole point that he is not proposing is bothering me a lot!
I want to make him do it without directly forcing him into it. Any suggestions???
2006-10-05 04:22:39 · 23 answers · asked by Mistyfog 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Start by putting a stop to this constant nagging and complaining. My guess is he would be mental to want to commit to you...
2006-10-05 04:24:43 · answer #1 · answered by JoyDivision 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why are so many women so caught up in "making" someone commit? First off that's a control issue. Secondly, giving a guy an ultimatum is not starting off on a great foundation for a secure marriage. Go ahead, "make" them commit and most women find themselves single very quickly. If you are ready for a commitment then find you need to "ASK" him if he is ready for marriage. If he isn't then you need to decide if you can deal with just being his significant other. If not, the decision is yours to make whether you stay or leave. If you leave, then it may take another 1-5 years with someone else when you could have waited and landed the one you're with. The other problem with women is that if they don't commit they constantly pressure their boyfriends right out the door. Every woman needs to ask a man in the beginning where the man's viewpoint is on marriage down the road to head off possible detours such as this question.
I hate it when people put time limits on a relationship. If you don't know how to deal with your anger....they have anger management class and counseling in every town. Just DEAL with it before you destroy something that could be special if you wait.
Wish you luck and I hope you get your dreams.
2006-10-05 04:36:31 · answer #2 · answered by Lisa W 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would hope I'm in a committed relationship - have been living with my partner for the past 16 1/2 years!!
2016-03-18 05:09:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, you sound a little psycho there buddy. You can't force someone to propose to you. If you trick him into it, he'll just resent you. Just because he's not thinking of marriage yet doesn't mean he doesn't love you. Personally, I think it's kind of early to be talking marriage anyway. How long were you dating before you moved in? I think you're really selfish for getting angry when you're not even sure you'd say yes if he DID pop the question. Is he trying to date other people on the side or something?? I just don't see how he's uncommitted considering he wanted you to move in.
2006-10-05 04:31:40 · answer #4 · answered by mooo83 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmm. Move out? You said you began cohabiting with him b/c it was helpful under your circumstances... so, were you using him? You say you are not sure you want to marry him, but you're mad because he doesn't propose marriage. Why should he? He has the milk and didn't have to buy the cow (excuse the crudity- it's an old expression). You need to figure out what YOU want and stop worrying about what he is or isn't proposing. If you want a marriage with him, you went about it the wrong way, and gave him the wrong impression of where you see your relationship going. So you need to sit down and have a discussion about where the two of you are headed. If you don't want to marry him, why are you still living with him and worrying about why he's not asking?
2006-10-05 04:30:34 · answer #5 · answered by victronia 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Misty if you will look at all the signs you will see that this relationship is not even meant to be. Look this guy does not want to commit to you, much less anyone else. Your inner feelings are even telling you that this guy is not right for you. One thing I know for sure, I have always been told if there is any doubt at all you should not do whatever you are thinking about. You sound like a very good girl who deserves much better in return for what you are receiving. Move on let him go, you should never and I mean never have to beg a guy for a committment. I promise you if you do you will be glad you did. You will be much happier and you will probably find Mr. Right in the most unexpected place in the world. Please move on and let this loser go!
2006-10-05 04:30:32 · answer #6 · answered by Rooster 1972 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't think you'll want to make him commit. You'll no doubt end up increasing the divorce rate, ever so slightly.
He will do so, when he feels ready, if he ever feels ready.
If you can't live with him, without feeling guilty, then take the required steps to move out, and to stop applying the pressure.
It all sounds rather insane. You aren't sure that you want to marry him, but you want him to propose? Wow. Talk about mixed messages.
2006-10-05 04:29:12 · answer #7 · answered by Medicated Harmony 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, you need to get real... If you don't want to marry him, then don't make it an issue. if it really bothers you living with him, move out. Most guys are not going to ask if there is a possibility thatthe girl will say no. You are just wanting to justify your means. tell him you feel insulted that he hasn't breached the subject. discuss it with him, and express you want to know if there are any chances of a long term relationship or if you are just "enjoying it while it lasts" tho, it sounds like maybe neither of you are enjoying it. Stop treating him badly because of your own disappointment in yourself. You did what you had to, and he was trying to help.
2006-10-05 04:28:32 · answer #8 · answered by WifeandMom 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You really can't force him all you can really do is drop hints, if you want him to propose. When you are out stop and look at engagement rings and such. But if you are not sure you want to marry him why should he put himself out there and take the chance you would say no.
Maybe you should save up some money and get your own place and your own space and figure out if you are happier without him. And if you do and you are completely miserable then maybe you can bring things into perspective for yourself.
Maybe he is thinking I care deeply about her but like yourself is just not ready for marriage.
Sweetheart, you can't have your cake and eat it too.
2006-10-05 04:30:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Now your not sure if this is the man you want to marry but you want him to ask. WHY?Why would this make you happy just because he asked. You still had the choice of not moving in with him. If you were serious about not living with anyone unless you are married then you should have moved in. Acting mad and treating him wrong isnt the way to get a ring.Move out and move on.I dont see a reason for treating him wrong and if this is your only problem you need to move quick.
2006-10-05 04:29:37 · answer #10 · answered by justturning40 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you're not sure you want to marry him, wanting him to propose is shallow, useless and manipulative. You just want him to propose because it will make you feel better about YOURSELF, and that's not a good enough reason. How about deciding whether or not this is the guy you want to marry. If it isn't, leave. If it is, stay and find out whether he feels the same way. If he doesn't, then LEAVE. Getting him to propose just for the sake of your own feelings is ridiculous and selfish.
2006-10-05 04:27:05 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋