HIS IS FOR WOMEN ONLY. If you don't like your man looking at porn, how do you cope with it?

Question

Only serious answers only. This has become a problem. And if you can't be nice about it,don't answer at all. I need some serious advice.

Answer 1

Ok, I feel your pain. I have been with my hubby for 10 years, and for the first 2 porn was an issue. He wasnt addicted but he did watch it occasonally. And I told him that to me watching other women was no different from being with one in my book. If I didnt satisfy him then we should just call it quits.
I toldhim if you like to watch porn and it is something that interest you, then it should be of us, not strange women.

So I suggest if he is away working or something, send him pics of you on his cell. Send him small vidoes from your cell of you touching your self or something. It will interest him in watching you instead of other women.
You can suggest of making a video of the two of you, and this way you can both enjoy it. And if he's getting his jollies from porn, at least it's you who turning him on.
Worked for me, but not everyone would feel as comfprtable. Try it and see how you feel about it. If your not sure about the video, start out small, with the little pics, and 2-4 minute videos from your phone.

Best of Luck, hope it all works out Hun,....

Answer 2

2

Answer 3

I caught my husband doing it, but even though he assured me it was no big deal, to me it was a HUGE deal. I basically, in a word, forbid him to do it anymore. I feel like it is a very little thing for me to ask of him, in the grand sceam of things, and if he doesn't want to respect my feelings on the subject then maybe we shouldn't be married! He did however see things my way, but don't get me wrong it has changed a few things around here. I now check his history and stuff on the computer. I hate doing it but for right now it gives me piece of mind. Bottom line....just explain to him how it makes you feel when he looks at the porn and ask him to stop! Good luck!

Answer 4

All men will at some point look at porn.
There is so much of it, especially with the internet. It is pretty much everywhere.
If it is the internet that you are talking about, then it can become very addictive, as there is so much porn available.
Even myself, being curious as probably most people will check it out. Personally, it is pretty much all the same after you have been through it.

My suggestion would be to find out which type of porn he is interested in. That will help you alot.
He may or has become involved in a new sexual need for himself. Or one that he has been harbouring all his life. Porn sites tend to take you to new areas of sexual behaviour that you may have not thought of previously. Or maybe he could be finding porn that caters to sexual needs that he did not explore yet in his life, but had fantasies about.

Porn allows you the freedom to visually experience whatever level you want to explore safely. Because it is a private affair between the viewer and the porn site, it is safe. However, your concern is not unwarrented, because there are the men who may want to take it a little further, ( via contact with available women) on the internet. That will only happen after a very long period of using porn. It is not normal, if he is running to the computer everyday and going on the porn sites.It is not normal if he is neglecting other things in his life or putting them off.

My advice to you is .... Learn how to use the computer in a way that allows you access the history in a few different ways. So, you can see what he is up to. Brush up on your computer skills and let him know you are, because you want to learn to use it better.

Also, move the computer into a more public area of the house. Tell him you want to use it more.

Don't accuse him of looking at porn, you already know he does it.
Instead, the more you know about what types of porn he is looking at the better equipped you will be to address it in the proper way. You don't want a argument that goes no where.

Once you have enough ammunition, ( proof). Save the pictures, porn sites on a disc or in your email or somewhere. That is for when he denies it or for when he is over stepping the boundaries of what is exceptable to you and the general public.

You're going to have to draw the line somewhere, as to what is appropiate and what is not, instead of cutting him off completely. That is why you need to save the proof.

Example:....lets say, no porn that involves animals, or very young girls. And trust me, he knows his boundaries, but unless someone like yourself, verbally expresses to him that it is wrong, he will continue to be curious and look at things he may never do, but just want to see because he is simply curious.
Cutting off a person who is addicted to it, is tough...so this approach is not so harsh for him to handle....if he thinks he can still do it, but all he has to do is only cut out certain things, then he will except that.

It's like any addict, you have to wean them off of it, not compeletly cut them off. So, be very tactful and do not attack him, be understanding...and especially EXCEPTING of his need to watch some porn.

Once he has cut back, or if he slips and you catch him, then he will start to cut back again and eventually, you can have him not watching it at all.


Be patient. And dont' give him the impression your spying on him, because the argument will become about you invading his
privacy and you being mistrustful.

So, brush up on your computer skills and he will see that you are computer smart and while he is looking at porn, in his mind at some point he will know that there is a good chance you will see it. It then is not a private thing anymore, between him and the porn. And it will be embaressing for him to know what he is looking at, you are also looking at.

All the best of luck to you. I understand how you would be concern. Porn is an insult to women in a relationship. It makes us feel as if we are not enough. Which is not the case, but none the less still makes us feel that way.

Answer 5

actually i would like for my man to watch porn. he might learn something new. but if he is watching it all the time there is a problem. are you doing good in the bed with him? are there any other issues? think about what is going on before you react. good luck and i hope you and your man can get through this.

Answer 6

Just understand that men are going to be men.. that 'porn' is really only a picture

Answer 7

I don't care if my hubby watches. It's better than being at the nudie bar where it's live in the flesh.

Answer 8

PORN IS LIKE CIGARETTES IT IS ADDICTIVE. IT DON'T MEAN HE DONT LOVE YOU BUT HE IS LOOKING FOR SOMETHING AND HE DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT.
GOOD LUCK ON GETTING HIM TO STOP.
TRY TO TELL HIM IT HURTS YOU AND MEKES YOU FEEL UNWANTED.
OH KEEP YOURSELF IN GOOD SHAPE DRESS SEXY
[FOR HIM]

Answer 9

well you could tell him about or you could throw away the dvd but then he is man what he can't do infront of you he'll just do it behind your back he has to be the one to stop himself

Answer 10

Tell him how you feel and maybe he'll stop if he loves you he'll respect your wishes and listen to what you have to say.