setting a child up to fail in life on purpose is this a disorder?

Question

for any of you who have read my questions about my neighbor and how horribly she's raising her grandaughter. (whom she tells is her daughter)I recently noticed something, all this lady ever talks about is how she thinks god sent her the girl so she wouldn't be lonely & how the girl loves her more than her son did. This makes me wonder if all the things she's doing with this girl: keeping her morbidly obese, teaching her to be racist against blacks even though the girls real mother is black & the father half black, keeping her out of school saying she's sick but then going shopping and out to lunch, calling her bitches and whores almost all day long. The father whom she also "raised" is a hot mess right now at 30 & everyone knows the little girl is going to be screwed up in th head later in life, I wonder now is she doing it on purpose so she'll have nothing to do but stay at home all her life & keep her company. Is this some kind of disorder or is this lady just selfish?

the neighbors have been calling in to report her to family services but they all say since noone has ever seen her get HIT, it's not abuse, even the truintness, the verbal abuse. But if this lady is nuts should'nt they come in and do something or make the DAD do something since he lives in the apartment with them

Answer 1

I DONT KNOW WHAT TO SAY.... THAT IS SOOOOO SAD FOR A GRANDMOTHER TO DO HER LIKE THAT... SHE SHOULD WANT THE BEST FOR THE GIRL AND THAT IS NOT WHAT I AM HEARING.... SOMEONE NEEDS TO TALK TO HER AND LET HER KNOW THAT SHE CAN BE SOMEBODY AND SHE DO NEED TO GO TO SCHOOL.....

Answer 2

This situation needs immediate attention! I know you and others had called CPS and since there is no proof noone can really do anything but before this child gets old enough to start lying about her home life(which some kids will lye to protect) I would keep calling and making reports until something happens! As you already know, her Dad is just as screwed up as his Mom if he is allowing this to happen!! I would even contact her school and let them know what is happening, maybe they would know how to handle this, maybe they could get the police involved. They are taking absences in school so much more serious! I hope you can make a difference in this little girls life! Take a stand and help this precious little baby out! She needs YOU!

Answer 3

Psychological abuse IS abuse, if the state workers are not doing anything, speak to their supervisors. try getting something on tape.. proof... if itgoes on, build a compilation of exact dates and incidents... take it to a judge. It is some form of a disorder although I couldn't put a name on it. The fact that she teaches her to be racist is to build self hate. Maybe as a community you could do more, as in together, not as in you haven't done anything. The school should be involved if she is missing so many days.... if she fails because of her truency and absence, they have to do something about it. That is very sad. This lady needs help, and her granddaughter. Does it do any good to invite her out of the house and to your houses? such a shame. I hope that you and the others have shwn concern for this little girl are able to help, and I hope she someday knows how much you care, as nothing will mean more to her than that.

Answer 4

Do you have the ability to talk to the girl? Maybe one of the girls friends mothers can intervene? This woman sounds like a nut job- but unfortunately there is no screening process for having family raise children. I think she may be "raising" her with fear. Which is not right. Also, if the child has low self esteem Grandma may believe she will be easier to "manage".

My heart goes out to her- the girl. I have seen some children who are raised in a hellish environment turn out to be great people. Also kids raised in a "perfect" home turn out to be total disasters. So, do what you can, go out of your way to be kind to both of them and pray to GOD for the best.

Answer 5

Try and seek help for this child, how ever you can get it, try police , social worker, school, church. Thank God for people like you, who care. The grand mother, does not know, what she is doing, you will be surprise, to know how many children, or grand children, go through the same thing, that is why we have so many messed up adults. And the people who are in charged of the children, do not have a clue, on parenting skills. So try to get the child help, and Pray for good results!

Answer 6

It does sound as if the lady is mentally disturbed. But you really can't do anything except call the authorities when you see abuse. You might, however, call the child's school and fill them in on what is happening in case they don't realize it. They will make waves with Children and Youth Services if they find her truant too often. That might help.

Answer 7

I was also raised by my grandmother, I know the filling but it wasn't as bad. Yes it is a horrible thing to mark a child and tell them they'll never amount to anything ,believe it cause I speak from experience. If the girl is stong like I was and can ignore it she can have a good life as an adult.

Answer 8

I would say, having had a wonderful mother that this woman is very selfish and may have a disorder. I would report her to child support services really as it is not fair on the child. Children know only what they are taught...

Answer 9

I think it is a disorder...but that really is a horrible environment to raise a child. Someone should call Child Services and send an inspector over...

Answer 10

Not only is she disordered and selfish, she is behaving criminally, from what you say. The best favour you could do for the young girl is to report the grandmother to the authorities. You can do this anonymously.

Answer 11

She is wrong on so many levels. Someone should call Social Services annonomously and report her. She can get in massive trouble for her not going to school alone