It took a year to get her and she everything I want in marriage but not right now.
2006-10-05 03:25:03 · 19 answers · asked by erwins1986 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
you do this, there wil be a risk of losing her. It doesn't matter what you tell her all she will hear is "break" "break" "break"
2006-10-05 03:27:18 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me ask you this, why don't you want to get married? do you think your just not ready? Keep in mind that you may never be "ready" marriage is a big thing, and it's sorta like having kids, your not ever really ready, but if shes everything you want, you can learn it as you go. I will tell you that my fiance took a VERY long time to propose to me because he was "not ready." In reality, he was he was just scared. It put a HUGE strain on our relationship. Being in Limbo that long is not good. Now that he has proposed, after I had to give him an ultimatum, he has realized that the idea wasn't so bad after all! I don't think you need to take a break from someone who you would marry, you may not get her back...my best advise is to face your demons, and truly appreciate this wonderful gift you have in this girl. don't throw something like that away! good luck!
2006-10-05 10:32:06 · answer #2 · answered by ASH 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yikes. Expect her to feel very hurt. Realize that there is a chance you may lose her though all of this! If you tell her that you want her, but not now, she may think you are just letting her off easy. If it took you a year to get her, you should appreciate her. Think of how things will be if you can never get her back...
Remember the possibility that if you let her go, she may never come back. OR she may find someone else who doesn't want a break from her!
2006-10-05 10:28:16 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could tell her that you think the realtionship is moving a bit too fast.
If you need a break then she is not the women of your dreams....
If you would like to someday marry her what is up with the break? After your married do you think there are any brerks? You are sending mixed messages. She will be confused and wonder if you're seeing others, so becareful of your action and words and find out why you feel the way you do, be honest with your self!
2006-10-05 10:45:22 · answer #4 · answered by sophia_of_light 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like your a little scared of commitment. You have a few things you want to do before you commit to one person for the rest of your life. No offense but this is slightly immature and childish on your part.
To answer your question there is no way to tell someone this without hurting them. It's like saying " I am giving you a demotion...but it's not that bad" That's what it sounds like to the receiver. I am not sure of your girlfriends personality but she may think that there is someone else. If this girl really is the girl of your dreams... you need to think long and carefully before you make any decisions. I mean if it took a year to get her... how long do you think it will take to get her back? Would you be able to handle the possibility that she may meet someone else doing your break. Do you honestly expect her to wait for you? Be honest with yourself.
2006-10-05 10:35:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Brake means break... She won't want to wait until you are ready. Is it that you don't want to put marriaige on the table yet or that you want to see other people? Needing a brake is not entirely honest... Be honest with her and discuss your reasoning. If you want to see other people... you can't expect her to wait for you... or ever want to see you again. If you're not ready for marraige issues, don't bring them up and if she does, tell her you need to slow way way down. Honesty will make you or break you... tread lightly.
p.s. an ultimatum is your ticket out. You might love her, but she shouldn't have to threaten you into proposing to you... this is the opening to a very rocky relationship where resentment will build. And girls... don't give one unless you are ready to live with it.
2006-10-05 10:33:17 · answer #6 · answered by WifeandMom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in this same situation, and to be honest with you, if you really want to be with her its not a good idea. If she feels the same way about you then you will definitely break her heart. I did with my girlfriend and I had to fight tooth and nail to get her back. I almost lost her and I would have regreted if for a long time if I did.
2006-10-05 11:10:17 · answer #7 · answered by usc_drew 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to say this but telling her that you want a break in anyway is going to hurt her. So you just have to be upfront and honest with her. Don't try to hide it or sugar coat it. She will respect you more for this.
2006-10-05 10:27:45 · answer #8 · answered by The Plague 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh man why would u want to take a break then it took you a year if i were you juss stay with her cuz if you take a break she may never come back to you and then you will be the one who is hurt
2006-10-05 10:28:26 · answer #9 · answered by Nena 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did you try to "get her" for a year if you didnt want her "right now"? It doesnt sound like to me that she is the girl of your dreams, if she was you would want to spend every minute with her. Sounds like you need to find out what you want out of life before trying to find "the girl of your dreams"
2006-10-05 10:29:45 · answer #10 · answered by Allinwiththenuts 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell her you love her very much and would like to spend the rest of your life with her, but you need time to get your head together and mature. Reassure her that there is no one else and will be no one else. If you are doing it so that you can date others be up front about it.
2006-10-05 10:28:48 · answer #11 · answered by MCS 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋