Funny things kids say?

Question

Have your kids ever said something, but got it a bit wrong, thats made you laugh?
My daughter used to say 'Bee's make Honey and Wasp's make Jam'. :)

Answer 1

When my youngest son was four he said "it's a good job that lamp posts have lights on the top of them or else we'd walk into them when it was dark"

My eldest son used to call hailstones 'ice-seeds' and my auntie used to call them 'beer-stones' (ale-stones you see)
He also had a problem saying the sound 'tr' as in truck or 'sm' as in smarties. Sadly he used to use the sound 'f' instead (work it out) We spent a lot of time trying to make him say lorry instead.

Answer 2

When my son was about 3 he was totally into the whole Toy Story thing. He had all the characters in like 12 different sets 'cause everyone got him Toy Story stuff for every occasion. Well, one evening I had some friends over and he comes into the room and proudly announces "I have TWO Woodies in my pocket!" One friend almost choked to death!

Another time while shopping for craft supplies in Michael's, he yelled proudly to me across the store "Mom, I've got Styrofoam balls!" Thought I'd pee my pants.

Once at the laundromat, I put a $20 bill in the change machine. When it started spitting out quarters my daughter, 4 at the time, started jumping up and down and shrieked excitedly "Oooh Mommy, you WON!!!!" The whole place cracked up!

I can't wait for my 15 month old to start talking!

Answer 3

when my daughter was 2 she was so ill with flu, she had to spend a few days in hospital.
she was allowed home a few days later after she improved but was still off side.
i took some time off work to care for her and everyday she needed 2.5mls of her medicine.

she got better but the medicine was one of those that you needed to finish the course and since she was going back to nursery before the meds had ended, i was worried the staff may give her too much, as she only need the 2.5mls, this is the small side of the double type medicine spoons, the other half is the full 5ml spoon.

so, i taught her over the few days before she went back to nursery, that every time they gave her this medicine, she needed to say "half a spoon please."
this was too remind the staff that she only needed 2.5mls.

the day she went back to nursery she hugged me as i was leaving and i said. "what do you say at medicine time?" then came the reply, "half a spoon please."

i was proud of my little 2 yr old and wasn't worried about an accidental overdose.

just as i was walking away, she shouted me, saying "mummy before you go!! why is the spoon called Arthur??"

you can imagine my laughter, it's still the best story I've ever told x

Answer 4

Art Linkletter used to do a segment on his show called "Kids say the darnedest things." It had everyone laughing so loud they never noticed that the kids' parents were embarrassed to tears. Kids often blurted out family secrets, or at the very least told distorted stories of things they had overhead parents say.

The one I remember best went like this:

Linkletter: "Where did you get such beautiful blue eyes?"

Kid: "Well, I don't know, but my daddy says they are just like the milkman's, so I guess he brought them."

Answer 5

Ours did lots, as all kids do - but I think our favourite was his use of a particular word with regard to his toys. He's a boy, and he liked hooking up his different vehicles together - the tractor to the trailer, etc. Even with Legos, he always had us make or attach "hookers" so he could line stuff up. So, to him, it made sense to call them "hookers" - which can really sound strange in general conversation if others hear. Like, "dad got me some new hookers today" or "dad said the hooker couldn't work today". We laughed and we laughed....

Answer 6

It's not cute funny, but I was definitely rolling on the floor when this one happened. It was my youngest sister (she was, at the time 2 and a half.) My oldest sister was 23 and was in labor with twins. My mom, all week, had been saying that my oldest sister was 'dumb as hell' for staying with the father of the twins.

ANYWAY, in the hospital room was me, my youngest sister, my other sister, and my mom. She started having really bad labor pains and was screaming for the doctor, so it was time for my youngest sister to leave, but before she did, when she went to say bye to the sister in labor, she says "Amy, you're dumbin to the hell'...only my mom and i knew what she was talking about and i just lost it.

Oh, and still the same little sister...when something on her was itching, she would say "It scratches" (meaning it itches), so I would simply reply "So itch it."

Answer 7

One day some Jehovahs witnesses came to my door for the 3rd time that week and I was getting mad so when I opened the door, I told them I was a witch. Needless to say, my 4 year old heard me say that.

A week later, the paper boy rang the bell and my daughter answered and told him to go away because "my mom's a witch"

Answer 8

When my daughter was three years old, (she is twenty years old now) we bought her a new puppy. After the puppy chewed up a shoe, I picked up the puppy, showed the puppy the shoe and said, "Shame on you, Dixie !"
I put the puppy in its bed and went back to what I was doing. A bit later, I noticed that my daughter was examining Dixie all over....in her ears....mouth, head, belly...etc. I asked my daughter what she was doing. She looked at me and asked,
"Where's the shame on Dixie"?

Also...when she was three, my daughter came out of the bathroom one day and delared,"Mommy, you need to clean the bathtub, there's P-U dew on the walls again"!

My daughter was sitting in the high chair at McDonald's one morning, when a strange man walked by her and went into the bathroom. She went back to eating, but when the man came back out she smiled at him and asked, "Did you poo poo or tee tee?"

Great question and thanks for dredging up all the happy memories!

Answer 9

My 2 1/2 year old daughter walked in on her dad going to the bathroom and came out and announced to me "Momma, Daddy has tail!"

Answer 10

My daughter went to her friends house for tea, when she was dropped off, knowing that she can be a fussy eater, I asked if she had eaten everything. Her friends mum said yes except she told me she couldn't eat the mash because it had no lumps in it! I nearly died! I was so embarrassed! I told her off for asking where her crap pants were before realising she meant her crop pants!