> Do you miss me? - YES But making the most of the time apart to think about things
> Do you love me? - YES, you have been very loving and kind to me and i feel so special when i am with you
> Will you get hurt if break up with me? YES
> Do you still want to break up with me? Cannot say yes or no, i seriously need time to consider.
We had an argument before he left for Thailand. I am so afraid he will find another boy during his holiday. he promised me before that he wouldn't hurt or upset me. I am a beautiful and happy-go-lucky young man too.
He is on gaydar almost everyday but I hardly hear a shout from him. the worst thing is he has changed his status on gaydar from having a partner to a single man.
Please advise me what to do... I really love him
2006-10-05 02:57:17 · 38 answers · asked by Riv 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
The hardest thing about love is learning to accept that we are all individuals and that, no matter what may happen, one will always love ones partner - even if/when they move on. Love is often confused with ownership and dependency; this often leads to misunderstanding, fear, hatred etc - do not go there. It does sound like your bf needs sometime to think about your relationship; why don't you use this time to think about what you really want from it too? You do not need to know his every move, he's a man and sometimes we all need to reassure ourselves that we are still desirable outside a relationship. If he truly loves you he's not going to run off with the first shag he gets. If you really love him you ought to be able to accept such dalliances without thinking of them as a threat. I have had 2 long term relationships (15/12yrs) throughout which, by equal consent, my partners and I have had "**** buddies". I have found this to be a source of extra strength in my relationships with my lovers. I am still very close to both and socialise regularly with them. I think of this as true love.
2006-10-05 03:34:26 · answer #1 · answered by paul h 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well it sounds as if you're getting quite a few mixed messages there.
If he's changed his profile to SINGLE MAN then that would tell me what I needed to know.
However, this could be read a bit too much into something that's not there. Gaydar is the most fickle gay site to visit in my view it's just full of people out for one thing. So that could say he's looking for someting.
Anyway, at the end of the day he's only human and even if he did split with you there's nothing to say that he wouldn't be hurt by it but perhaps he feels you both need to move on. Breaking up is hard and even harder for the person who has to finish it but you'll survive. It takes time but you'll get there.
Good luck.
2006-10-05 03:13:38 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well being in love is a hard thing, especially when the other person is trying to go astray. From my point of view, it seems as if he wants his cake and icecream too. You can't have both. He won't give you a straight up answer on getting back together so it seems to me that he wants both sides. He wants to be single but he wants to drag you along for whatever reason. Maybe you make him feel a certain way but at the same time he wants to be free and use you to give whatever it is that you are giving him in his time of needing whatever it is. It could be security, comfort, or just not wanting to let go. You are young, you shouldn't stress yourself out with problems someone else is giving you. Life is too short. I am not saying to just ditch the guy, I am saying you explore your options the way he is. Who knows, Mr. Right may be right around the corner. Good Luck and for the time being, put a fence around your heart until this situation becomes less complicated.
2006-10-05 03:09:37 · answer #3 · answered by i have a taste for waffles 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you are really upset and confused. I wish I knew more details about the relationship like how long your have been together, whether you live together etc.
From what he's saying he needs time and space to consider your relationship. The holiday is the perfect opportunity for both of you to figure out what you really want.
It is concerning that he changed his status to 'single' but it might be best to wait until he returns to have a proper talk about where things are going.
Things like this always happen for a reason :) My heart went out to you when I read your Q because relationships can be so painful.
Best of luck x
2006-10-05 03:23:11 · answer #4 · answered by Akasha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he really needs some space following this arguement and some time to work out what he wants to do.
He misses you and he loves you so take comfort in that. It sounds to me liek he's just angry at the meoment and he's probably changed his status to single to get at you in some way.
If you love him, give him some space. Send him a message saying that you love him and want to be with him and respect his need to think about things. Have you ever head the slightly cheesy saying "If you love something, let it go. If it comes back, then you know its for real".I think this applies here. Good luck.
2006-10-05 03:16:20 · answer #5 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh bless you ... this sounds like its really hard for you both. i was told something a long time ago which i still strongly believe in and it is - If you Love somebody set them free and although it will be tough and may seem a little unfair maybe it is just meant to be. Im sure this isnt what you want but maybe he will realise that the grass is not always greener on the other side and once you have gone he will hopefully realise what he had and lost.
This in the end sould work out either way for you but time heals all and in time if this is not meant to be you will find the man for you someone who loves you as much as you love them. and i truly believe everyone has many people out there for them you just have to track them down but enjoy your time until you find them
Keep smiling! x
2006-10-05 03:16:38 · answer #6 · answered by sej_finch 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wish I could help you, but I really don't know much about gay people. I think that it does seem that your bf is not as much in love with you as you are with him. Maybe you shouldn't plead with him and just let him alone for a while until he returns and then see how he is with you. If he doesn't want you than you are better off without him. No love can grow unless it is on both sides. I am sure that there are many more fishes in the sea and that you will find the right one for you in time.
Be brave.
2006-10-05 03:02:07 · answer #7 · answered by London Girl 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dont worry - let him have his space you may be crowding him by asking all these questions just go with the flow and let fate take it's toll and like the last answer you had - if it wasn't meant to be then it wasn't meant to be! There is someone out there for everyone and whether it take you 5 mins or 5 years you will find them.
By his replies to your questions and the fact that he has changed his status to single this just makes me think that he is not really worth bothering about because it sounds like he wants to have his cake and then some nobody deserves to be treated like that.
2006-10-05 03:01:14 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hi Riv, it does sound as if your boyfriend is considering breaking up with you, although it also sounds as if he really does love you. He is being honest by saying he needs some time to think about things, maybe the time you are apart whilst he is on holiday will give both of you time to reflect on things. I hope things work out for you both. As I said at the start, it sound as though he is "considering", it doesn't sound like he definitely wants to part. Good luck x
2006-10-05 03:12:39 · answer #9 · answered by MissEssex 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he loves you he will be back.
If you don't get together then it was never meant to be and you'll find someone who you ARE meant to be with.
I know that doesn't help right now, but you need to face the possibility that he wants to be single again.
You don't sound happy-go-lucky now, hardly surprising I know, but if that is the kind of guy your fella likes spending time with he's not going to be happy with someone bombarding him with questions about his feelings and constantly needing reassurance.
Try to lighten up a bit when you're with him and show that you're still the guy he fell for in the first place.
Good luck.
2006-10-05 03:05:08 · answer #10 · answered by franja 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋