It has been about a month now of No Contact and I have to say that while some days it isn’t easy, it really is the best way to go and apart from the odd bad day when I miss her immensely, I am getting over it more and more and beginning to enjoy my new found independence. Obviously I miss the companionship and having someone to take care of (bit gay for a guy to be saying that I know, but that’s the way I am) but I am also finding myself again and becoming stronger again in who I am after sacrificing so much.The worst part about the whole thing, and this is what I would like a reply to, is the feeling of having been used.
Has anyone else felt this?
I have come out of the relationship after having giving it my all feeling as if I was used for my generosity and good nature.
I wanted to make the relationship work and asked her numerous times if she was happy and she could talk to me if she wasn’t and I wouldn’t judge her, but was consistently lied to and then dumped.
2006-10-05 02:53:28 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I'm a female, and as females, we are normally the ones who do everything to make it work and get hurt. But, we somehow suck it up and move on. If she's not willing to give you at 50%, she's not worth your time. Relationships require the work of two people. She just wasn't the one. Your Queen will arrive soon. Hold on and be patient. Good luck!! Enjoy your independece too. There's nothing like bringing backage from a past relationship to a new one.
2006-10-05 03:01:53 · answer #1 · answered by Charlies_Angel 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have to say it mate, but you were obviously used!
NEVER, I repeat, NEVER walk into a relationship and give it your all! My god, You are just asking to be used.
Always hold back!
have you ever heard of
tall dark and MYSTERIOUS
treat em mean keep em KEEN
abscence makes the HEART GROW FONDER
there are thousands! I could go on.
You may aswel open your wallet on a busy street and close your eyes.
Always treat women with respect, that should never be an issue.
excuse the metaphore, but, I would rather be taken to the cinema, than handed the latest guide on all the movies!
If you lay everything on a plate to begin with, What will you talk about in 50, or even 60 years down the line? And if you dont think that the realtionship will last that long, then you shouldnt be in it! Dont waste valuable years of your one and only life. I lost 6.
But I have spent the last 2 making up for the mistake!
n x
2006-10-05 03:22:44 · answer #2 · answered by noggintrude 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
After reading your question my friend l have seen something that to be honest is quite reassuring..
I have also just ended a relationship. One l was in for over four years..
In that time l to had put all that i had to give into making her happy.. I gave her everything she wanted and more..
Sometimes things go wrong.. As we are both aware..
There are some people who do use others for there own gain..
You must now learn to be yourself again but at the same time remember that although this has happened.. It is more than likely that it was a one off situation..
There are some really nice people out there..
We just have to pick ourselves up and start again...
Good luck in your search my friend.. I am sure that you will find what you are looking for and the feeling of being used will soon be forgotten..
good luck and god bless ya
2006-10-05 04:12:34 · answer #3 · answered by BritishPKR 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mate I just broke out of a 7 year long very close friendship with a girl who was basically my everything.
It is so hard at first - It has been a month and a half, and I feel so badly used by her. The thing that really made me feel great though is that I made my feelings very public (I posted them on my blog) and all her friends read it. Then they all called me and instead of abusing me, told me how right I am, and how they wish they had the guts to say that.
After a month apart I have learn't how much I relied on her for social contact, and I am still rather lonely, but I am getting better. I also realised how much I have been missing in the way of women, so I am working on getting in shape again and hitting the dating scene. Our friendship was so much like a couple people used to dual invite us to everything. I used to rescue her from her probs and everything - even attend her family functions and her mine.
It will take a while, and you will feel like you are **** for a while, but trust me it gets easier, and you learn just how strong you really are.
2006-10-05 03:02:45 · answer #4 · answered by shauny2807 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it happens. In fact I've heard about girls being used by guys who all they needed was sex, and then dumped them. But what i want to tell you is : STOP thinking about her and about what she did to you. Everything is over now. I know that you feel bad about that, but at least now you have a new life and everything else is part of the past.
A lot of people get used in one relationship or the other. I've experienced that too. Now all you can do is be careful about what comes in the future. What is gone, is gone.
Be happy and enjoy the moment!
Good luck!
2006-10-05 03:07:03 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeap women do this and so do men. Don't know why.
Look at it like this, now you know what to look for when you are in a relationship.
Sorry that you had to find out the hard way but the truth is if someone told you, You would have not listened.
And don't ever think it is gay to miss having someone to take care of, some women like to be taken care of.
2006-10-05 03:06:50 · answer #6 · answered by Emptiness 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Blatently! It's harsh and very unfair but a sad fact of life.
I felt used by one of my ex's. He'd go off and do his own thang and expect me to be there waiting for him when he wanted me. Another kept going out with me because his Mum thought we were perfect together and anted to keep her happy. No amount of tellng either of these I was unhappy seemed to make any difference. So you're far from alone.
"Yesterday is History, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift......... that's why we call it the present."
Who says pub walls can't be profound! Just enjoy each day : )
2006-10-05 04:16:24 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you're not the only one. I once dated a guy i thought i knew but is a complete stranger. He lied to me about his residence (his bank's guest house) and several other things. I even thought he was the one cuz he was almost perfect until i found out he was married. After a year, he begged me profusely, we became friends and incidentally made love then he left me again. I felt terrible and it wasn't easy cuz i really loved him but he was a jerk and i moved on.
Once in a while, i think about him but that's all cuz ive found a guy who is SINGLE, a gentleman, and is a million and one things my ex wasn't.
2006-10-05 04:06:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
are you real? why didnt i meet you before i was married,divorced the pig and now happily engaged again, lol
i think you are one of a dying breed. a man who actually cares.
the problem is that this ***** took advantage of your loving nature and used and abused your love.
you were too good for her. please try not to let her cloud your judgement of women. i dont mean to be patronising, but you will find the perfect girl for you one day, who will give back as much as she receives and you ll wonder why you ever wasted your time on this woman.
2006-10-05 03:01:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am a female and this son of B i t c h he used me i been with with him for 11 years he hurt me so bad and the pain is still killing me inside i don't know why people used people. this is a bad feel . i hope u take care of yourself. i have try to please this man in any way i can. i have love him to death.
2006-10-05 03:16:48 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋