I'm good friends with this guy, we communicate via email,,but the other day my boyfriend signed into my email (without me knowing) and read all his messages. He now thinks I'm cheating on him, but we're just friends,,how can I make him believe that I love him only and no other guy?? I've already stopped emailing the guy, I told my boyfriend I'll have nothing more to do with him. My boyfriend doesn't agree on me being friends with any males, I'm so fed up but I love him to death, help!!
2006-10-05 02:27:06 · 18 answers · asked by Amal-Love 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I'm kind of old fashion when it comes to things like this. I wouldn't want him having email friends that are girls, just the way he doesn't want me to. I figure what can the guy friends offer that my husband don't already do, they can't give me anything more than what I have at home, so I really don't need them that much.....I don't care what other people say about girls having guy friends and guys have gal friends, I don't think it's something we need, and if it puts a damper on your relationship, why do it. I think what crosses other peoples minds is how marriages today, get destroyed because of affairs, people without morals, and untrustworthy. I'm not saying you are these things, but in todays society and what we call commitment sometimes doesn't always show, and its hard for the other partner in the relationship to adjust to these thoughts, its not you he don't trust, its the guys. Just have respect for his decision, and don't email guys anymore. Just my opinion! Take care, good luck and have a wonderful day!
2006-10-05 02:35:27 · answer #1 · answered by me 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your boyfriend is more than just jealous. He doesn't trust you at all, he is controlling and obsessive. You have ruined a friendship with someone just because he can't trust you. Not ok! If I were in your situation I'd tell my boyfriend that it hurts me deeply that he doesn't trust me and that I simply don't want to remain in a relationship where I can't be trusted and free to have friends that are men. If he's really as immature as he seems to be given what info you've provided us with, he might just end the relationship. But if he cares about you, he won't, and will want to work on this. But what's the point of being with someone you love if they can't love you that way in return? Your boyfriend needs to apologize for breaking into your private property like that. He has serious issues and it's not ok or normal for a boyfriend to distrust his girlfriend this much. He crossed boundaries and you need to make him aware of those.
I also think you had better apologize to your guy friend and NOT terminate your friendship with him over your boyfriend's problem!
2006-10-05 09:38:08 · answer #2 · answered by ixi26c 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are looking for someone to validate your being wrong. The real problem is what you've done to stir up this jealous behavior in him. You only referred one incident in which you were clearly wrong. You are e-mailing a guy, secretly, without your bf knowing. For some reason, he had reason to believe something was going on and the content of the e-mail must have given him something to make him concerned. Now he is wrong for signing into your e-mail, if he did it underhandedly but not if you gave it to him. But he's uncomfortable right now with what you did.
The question is who is more wrong. If he is just one crazy jealous man, then love doesn't matter, you should leave..it will only get worse. But if you are wrong, as I suspect you are, then he is not jealous, he is hurt. If you want to have a bf, then you should conduct yourself accordingly. If the guy was your friend, your bf would have known him and he wouldn't be so disposable. If you want to have alot of male friends then you should be single.
2006-10-05 10:35:23 · answer #3 · answered by NoPeace4Me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your boyfriend doesn't love you. He only wants to control you. This is how it begins. He first makes you feel bad about talking to other men then he'll have a problem with you looking at other men. He'll ask you why are you looking at him in a very angry way. Soon he'll have a problem with your girlfriends and try to make you give them up. I'm not sure how old you are but I know what I'm talking about. I was married to a man like that for 15 years who I thought loved me. It took a long time for me to realize anyone that treats you like that doesn't love you. since then I married again to a man that trusts me and treats me as his equal. It feels really good to be trusted since there was never a reason to not trust me. You see, I had found out that my first husband had been the one cheating on me and I think out of his guilt or to make himself feel better he would he would accuse me of cheating on him. Something I never did.
2006-10-05 09:52:02 · answer #4 · answered by Eva 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know you have a boyfriend and he is really jealous because he wants you to be open to him, share your ups and down. Girl it seems that you’re not telling him too that you have lots of male friend who’s e-mailing you and maybe he was confuse that maybe you cheated on him. You must not give up on him because of that. You have your own faults too. If you have a boyfriend, try to focus to him and treat him not just your lover as well as your friend too. Isn’t lovely that you have a friend and lover? It’s natural to him to make jealous. But once he became jealous of your female friends and family now it’s time for you to call for a quit.
2006-10-05 09:54:13 · answer #5 · answered by herzae 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first, he probably still feels deceived that you had this e-mail relationship with this guy that he did not know about. I am guessing he did not know about him. His reaction really seems to indicate that he is not very secure in your relationship. I would guess only part of that has to do with the email friend and the rest is probably his own insecurities. You can try to build his confidence in you and your relationship, but if he continues to try and dictate who you can and can not be friends with, you may really want to re-think continuing with him. Jealousy is an ugly animal to try and tame and almost never is defeated completely.
2006-10-05 09:34:17 · answer #6 · answered by Suthern R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in my opinion, he's bein a little beeyotch for gettin mad because you have a friend that's a guy, does he have female friends? if he does, he's pullin double standards on you and needs to quit bein' a little whiny punk because he has trust issues.
If he has female friends you have the right to throw THAT right back in his face, if he has friends of the opposite sex then you can too.
He needs to get over his trust issues, if neither of you (in this case it's him)can trust each other to have a life outside of being together then you don't need to be together because nobody deserves having to worry 'bout things like that.
the plain truth is if this guy friend was someone you knew before your guy came along (you had a life before him and you'll have one again if he ever leaves), then you shouldn't have to change things like that just to soften his ego because of some other girl he dated before you had cheated on him and he's lookin at every guy you're a friend with is on his cheaters radar and dumpin his insecurites on you.
he needs to be a little more understanding about it, and he should apologize for snooping in your business (if he had a suspicion then it's not much better but it's just caution, but don't give him that edge to use against you) and it was an unfounded reason for flying off the handle like he did, especialy if there wasn't any explicit text about you and your guy friend getting together other than talking to one another as friends or aquaintences.
If he can't and there're other issues in your relationship that he likes to rag you about or act controlling about, then I'd say cut him loose.
good luck.
2006-10-05 09:44:02 · answer #7 · answered by quiksilver8676 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Christ, what is it about these pathetic insecure jealous men!
1. he should NEVER be accessing your e-mail account
2. You should NEVER stop being friends with someone cos your pathetic boyfriend doenst liek it
3. If you stop being friends with this guy to try and appease said pathetic boyfriend, wehere will it end what next? dressing in sackcloth and ashes cos he doenst liek men looking at you? not seeing yuor family cos he wants you to himself?
Have some slf respect and spunk girlfriend or yuo'll end up a pathetic controlled dolly stepford wife, it's HIS problem don't make it yours!
2006-10-05 09:45:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think its cause he loves you but then again i really dont think its fair that he doesnt let you talk to other guys as long as your not doing ne thing with them i dont see a problem talk to him about it ask him why its not ok just to be friends with a guy?? tell him that u do love him and you would never leave him for this other guy..and if he loves you so much he will understand
2006-10-05 09:32:30 · answer #9 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess he is feeling insecure about having other male friends. I will say you sit him down and talk to him how you feel about the way he is action with the whole thing.
2006-10-05 09:36:13 · answer #10 · answered by freeall_freeme 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋