i need more help!?

Question

as ive told you before..my baby cousin sarah is turning 2 in feb,,,last night i tried to give her a bath last night and she started screaming again..but the difference is this time she didnt quit..she kept screaming and then she started hitting and everything( ive already told you about her abuse by her mother) what can i do to help her cope w/ this problem?

Answer 1

When she starts to hit hold her hand and say "that's not nice" In a gentle manner.
Normally when i give my sis baby a bath i tickle, hug & kiss her then pick her up and carry to the bath room. She feel more relax.
It look like the Girl don't like to bath and her mom uses Abusive force on her. That may be why she's geting on like that.

Answer 2

You will have to put up with her screaming and lashing out for a while till she learns to trust you. Sounds harsh when I say this but when a child or adult is abused, they think that it will happen again.
When you bath her, talk to her all the time, tell her what you are going to do, and give her lots and lots of praise throughout the bath.
If she hits you, just tell her it's not nice and that it hurts, but don't keep saying this. You may just have to ignore the hitting and everything till she begins to trust you.

Get her some bath toys, let her choose her own shampoo, bath mitt, make bath time fun for her.
You can even get these discs that change the colour of the water too. But it does nothing to harm the child.
Play music for her that she likes too. Give her as much attention as you possibly can.

She will calm down soon, and learn to trust you. Just give her time.

Answer 3

Try making bath time fun! Put some toys in the tub with some bubbles and let her play! Don't do bubble baths too often, though, this will cause urinary tract infections. Everything in moderation. When you wash her hair, the best way is with a hand held shower, so you can have control on where the water sprays.
My kids always liked to play like they were swimming in the tub. Grand kids do, too!
Last but not least, keep on being loving and patient.
God bless all of you!

Answer 4

As for the bath issue try spongebaths for a while; use the cloths with soap in them.
For the hitting and kicking:
Lots of positive reinforcement. Random hugs all day long. This is hard but you do still need to discipline her. I understand about the abuse so I would say definitely steer clear of physical punishment but things like taking away privleges and toys may work for her. At 2 she is probably too young for time outs. Honestly what she is doning is pretty normal even without the history of abuse.
The way I dealt with my kids when they went through a stage like that is I tried to talk to them at a good moment and explain what was expected of them and tell them ahead of time what would happen if they broke a rule. I would also wait until after they calmed down after a punishment to explain why they were in trouble and also explain that if they did it again the same would happen. Even at 2 she'll understand, just use simple language.

I suggest trying to keep your cousin active. Take her outside regularly to burn off some excess energy. When you sense that she is about to act up, maybe try stopping what you are doing and taking her for a relaxing walk.
For my son, punishing didn't work at first so I found a "hobby" that he loved which was helping me cook. I let him do it for a couple of days and then when he acted up I told him he wasn't being a big boy and only big boys could help me cook. Then later I would remind him if he kept acting up he couldn't help me the next time either. If she doesn't like cooking, try introducing arts and crafts, a special singing and/or dancing time, a regular trip to the park, etc. As long as she is behaving she can enjoy these treats if not then don't let her.

Remember anything you do, handle out of love not anger. Make sure you remind her that while you don't like what she is doing you still love her. Also, sometimes kids act up for attention and with the abuse this might be the case. So back to the hugging, you want her to learn the difference between positive and negative attentions so she craves the positive. My sis works at a daycare with 2 year-olds. She gives several random hug times every day and said after she started it, she was amazed at how much better the "bad" kids began acting.

Make sure you stay constant with your punishments and don't threaten if you don't intend to follow through. Good luck.

Answer 5

Obviously the child is associating a bath with bad things. See if taking her back to infancy will help. Get a warm bowl of water and soap and a couple of wash cloths. Lay a towel out on the bed and coo and give her a bird bath. Keep one of the warm washcloths over her where you are not washing so she doesn't catch a chill. Or see if she responds to being bathed in the sink differently.

As far as the 3 year old hitting, everyone in the house needs to be on point. Just take his little hand and say, "Houston, we don't hit here." every time. Ask him to repeat you...say, " What did I just say, honey?" and have him say, "We don't hit here."

Answer 6

The whole bath experience might have set her off. If she and your nephew were that seriously abused by their mother, they really need counseling.

Try the waterless bath approach. There are some good products on the market. Also, some really fun bath time products that might be of help distracting her.

To deal with the hitting and screaming, the previous answerer Pipin is right on the mark.

Answer 7

I didn't see your first post, but I think I get the gist of your problem.....

Could you maybe start by working to get her more comfortable with the bath in general? You could start with having her standing outside the tub, fill it with water, and let her play with stuff inside the tub for a bit -- pushing around toy boats, filling and emptying cups of water, etc. She could even remain fully clothed during this; just get her to begin associating the tub with being a positive experience rather than a negative one.
Then perhaps you might get her to undress, and even just give her a sponge bath outside the tub (have her stand on the bath mat, so it's not TOO messy) while she continues playing.

Answer 8

hey frankie try this one,whenever she do like that give her a big hug and a kiss and make a sad face in front of her and talk to her in a very very calm way telling her "what happen sweety dont you wanna bath dont you wanna look clean" take her out of the bath tub and than talk it out with her and than put her back in the tub after 10 minutes when you explain her that its good to bath..yeah they are frustrated kids because their mother abused them..whenever she throw a tantrum give her hugs and squeezes and than gently tell her "no sweety" this tantrum thing is not going to end in snap of fingers it will take time but you gotta hold on till it end...

Answer 9

If you haven't already, try sitting in the tub/shower with her and show her that everything is okay and that bathing can be fun! buy her some fun bath toys and play with her with bubbles first and little by little day by day start by putting liquid soap on a puppet wash cloth and show her on yourself first and sing that little song all children like... "this is the way we wash our hair,etc..etc.. she will get through it.
Don't fret sweeite, just ask the Lord Jesus to give her peace and you will see that she will be just fine.

Answer 10

Well if she was treated like that then that just means that she needs to go to timeout.I am pretty sure that she'll come around and let you give her a bath.Well there is nothing you can do cause her mother did that to her and she probably thinks that you are going to hurt her to but you have to let her know that you are not trying to hurt her.So I hope everything goes really well ok.My name Is Brianna L and I am 13yrs old.