bad sex!!!!!! wat shld i do???????!!!!!?

Question

ok the thing is, my gf loves it wen we have sex, but she never comes by penetrtation. is there smthn i can do??? she does nt want to be on top she says its too much efferot for her, she just want to lye there while i work on her, and she says ut hurts from the back. so wat shld i do. i've tried everythng i cn imagine but it never seems to work. she says she has a lower sex drive than i do, so she hardly wants to have sex, is the low sex drive a sign of sedxual frustration??? or is it that she does nt reali like the sex but she cnt bring herself to tell me that she does nt like the way i do it?? i've never tried using toys coz we both want it to be all natural. this problem is affecting me a lot, cz i've developed premature ejaculation since a couple of months ago. we used to go at it for hours b4 i came, bt nw i cant go 3 mins. im reali worriied about this, and its nw starting to affect our relationship. I dnt enjoy sex wen we do have it, smtyms i dnt feel it wen i come. wat shld i do?

She only/always comes when i go down on her or when i use my fingers. i do thiss all the time and she seems to love it. but sometimes she doesnt want me to do it that way.

the other thing is, i reali enjoy it a bit slow, but she wants it fast, real fast. thats reali put me off over time, coz i do it real fast to please her, when i want some slow action, she seems bored so we end up stopping totally. i realy try doin things her way, i jus cant figure out where im goin wrong. please halp me. we been together for a yea and a half and i thought things would improve as we got to know each others responses better. but things only seem to be getting worse.

Answer 1

I don't *** during sex either, only during oral sex and masturbation... alot of girls are this way.... its not that it doesnt feel good... it's just there isnt enough stimulation on the clit....

try one of those rings that stimulate it while you are having intercourse... those are nice.

Answer 2

Not trying to be rude, but it was hard to read your question because of the spelling. Otherwise...

Sex in a relationship can be extremely important. Sex isn't everything but it sure does count for something. If you aren't feeling it, and she doesn't want it, it could be that you two aren't sexually matched. That does happen, and you should not feel bad about it. So long as you two have discussed what each other wants/needs, and you know that it's very different for the both of you, you shouldn't feel terrible for ending it. If, however, she is the love of your life, you won't have trouble staying in a poor sexual relationship because of the extraordinary love you share.

In my experience, vaginal penetration alone does not make me orgasm. I reach it through oral sex and/or being in the exact right position where his member touches my clit. Do you two have a lot of foreplay going on? If not, you should really try that. It's very sensual and titillating. Major turn on. You get to explore down there and she can tell you what feels good and what doesn't. Great way to make her feel good.

As for the early ejaculation, give it another month or two before seeing a doctor. Make sure this isn't sexual frustration. If you can't wait that long, by all means, see your phsyician. I've seen that decrease with time (a lot of time) and by having more and more sex to increase stamina. Also, you can pinch the tip of the penis when you feel an orgasm coming on, and it will subside.

Answer 3

To all the people that say ditch her, she's lazy, shame on you!!!

Some women just don't know their bodies well enough to figure out what works best for them. I've only had one partner and someone told me once that because I've only been with him and he only 'does it' certain ways I probably have 'places' that I've never even found yet.

I'm not saying go out and do it with a bunch of people. What I'm suggesting is that the joy is in the discovery. (Toys CAN be part of this learning & enjoyment process... I don't agree that they're unnatural...)

Talking about it may be embarassing to her though, and the process of figuring it out is taboo to some people so they just don't know where the best places are and what the best techniques are for them to achieve an orgasm.

You should try to talk about it. In a healthy relationship you should be open about this stuff too.

Maybe light some candles, cuddle a bit and discuss your fantasies or new things you'd like to try sometime and see if you're both on the same page. If it's stuff you'd both be comfortable trying then maybe you can try some new things.

Also, I don't know how old you are, but keep in mind that they say women reach their sexual prime in their 30's...

Another thing that someone told me is that guys equate 'successful sex' with having an orgasm. This may be hard to believe, but that's not always true for women. Guys don't get it (it may actually be quite inconceivable to you), but sometimes for a woman the best sex comes with no orgasm at all. It can just be the foreplay, closeness, intimacy and all the warm fuzzy feelings of being cherished and loved that can make sex a success for a woman.

Answer 4

Perhaps your problem is that your expectations are too high.

There is no way most women would go at it for hours at a time. Half an hour is how long it usually takes.

If the lady says that her back hurts, she is tired, and she is not this much into sex anymore, then you should listen to her and giver her some space.

You seem to be worried only about your own pleasure, and you give no thought of what she wants and how she feels.

I'd say you being very selfish with her. Most women wouldn't tolerate this kind of treatment from a man.

A man's sex-drive depends on his orgasm. Once a man orgasms, then his sex-drive goes down, and for a while he doesn't want to have sex anymore.

I suggest that you stop trying to hold back your orgasm and c u m when you feel like it. Then you won't have any problem with excessive sexual desire. And then your woman won't have a sex problem with you.

Answer 5

Hmm, have you tried stimulating her clitoris using light presure with your fingers, or tongue? foreplay? not just for a couple of minutes mind you, but to the point where she just can't take it anymore and has to have sex? kissing passionately? massages? kissing her on different parts of the body, she might have some hidden erogenous zones. As for the premature ejaculation, you can try squeezing the muscles that help to control ejaculation. You do this by using the same technique that you would use to stop peeing when using the restroom. Do that for about 10 mins. each day and you should start to see some results. You can also enter her for a minute and pull out then enter again, just keep alternating and eventually she become aroused to the point where she might ***. Best of luck to you and your and good question.

Answer 6

First of all your girlfriend sounds lazy. A woman who is into pleasing her man would jump at the opportunity to ride on top unless there is something physical that would prevent her from doing that. Most women, if the truth be told do not come from penetration, we need direct clitoral stimulation to climax. What my partner and I would do is to have a lot of foreplay (touching, kissing, fingering, sucking) then he would go down on me, and after I would climax, and before he would explode, we would have intercourse. That would actually let me climax longer. Before long, I was ready for round two and three. You have to do things to keep the relationship spicy, the same old thing time after time gets old. Expressing your love for another through action should never get old. Sit your friend down and have a truly open conversation about the wants, needs and expectations for your relationship. Honestly, if she loves you, she wants to please you, maybe she just doesn't know how, and has to be taught. Are you a willing teacher, and is she a willing pupil!?

Answer 7

When a women is pressured to orgasm, or a man is pressured to pleasure his women it takes the fun out of sex. Both of you are taking it way to seriously and it is making you stressed. It was a few months before I had an orgasm during sex with my boyfriend, but when I did, it was amazing. You just need to learn each others bodies. Talk to each other about what turns you on, what turns you off, what positions you like best. Has your gf ever had an orgasm before? If not you will need to do one of two things, one, you can have her touch herself, explore her own body and fin what works best for her. Or two, go to the doctor or councellor and discuss her inhibitions. But really, I would just focus on the two of you and becoming more comfortable with each other sexually.

Good Luck :) Have Fun!

Answer 8

some women need real slow beginnings.some of us need a lot of foreplay to reach orgasm.some women don't like to do that by oral manipulation b/c we like the feel of the man inside while the orgasm is going on so this can be difficult to manage.Most of us do not orgasm with traditional sex b/c the clitoris isn't long enough to be manipulated while the man is on top. I'm afraid that without long and serious foreplay you will forever have a problem. some women can do this easily and i wish we all could be like that for most of us are truly unsatisfied and don't know how to get the satisfaction we want.

Answer 9

Well, for one thing, when you have sex, aren't there two of you doing this??? Why should you be the one doing all the work??? Also, a woman doesn't always come with penetration. You just might need to find her little clit, she should know where it is, and play with her clit, that will help her come. The clit is situated in such a spot, (for some reason, we are not sure) that you need to take extra time, and pleasure your woman. As for yourself, try masturbating before sex, you will last longer then. Try it!!! Good Luck.

Answer 10

try to find out what does turn her on. Rent some porn and ask her if she would like this or that. Get some magazines and ask her does she like this or that. Also, our hormones change so much, we could be in the mood one day and not the next, and its not you, it's her. (really) about your problem, not sure on that one. just pull out before you want to.

that was a good point by Don't Know. Stop focusing on the climax and just enjoy the intimacy. Don't put so much pressure on gettng the end result.

Answer 11

Does she like you to go down on her with your mouth? In my experience women haved loved it because it's obviously a sexual act but also a loving one....it's like kissing really. Again in my experience women prefer the penetration to come near the end of things not right from the start so why not surprise her by saying that you'd just like to have sex without penetrating her for a change....at least not in the first 20 minutes or so.