i just had the 4th bad fight with my dad. he makes me feel like ****, lower than dirt. he was unemployed untill recently he got a really good job, but hes so stingy with his money. i know he works hard for it but he takes it too far. i just wanna die, what can i do? i love my dad so much i wish he would'nt act like this. he wont hug me when i ask him to or let let give him a kiss on the cheek. hes says its because im getting too old for hugs. i just cry all the time i think i have depression because whenever my dad does this i wanns kill myself. what can i do? i hate my life i dont wanna feel anymore.
2006-10-04 23:29:05 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Hey chick, it's totally unfair of your Dad to do what he is doing to you. You really need to get out and be around more positive people, doing things you enjoy and that increase your confidence, your Dad is taking every possible opportunity to destroy your self confidence. I'm sure he doesn't realise what he's doing and I know you love him, I'm sure he loves you in his own way, but you need to recognise that he won't change, that it never was and never will be your fault that he's like this and that you really need to protect yourself. That is by far the most important thing, you need to protect yourself from his negative and damaging behaviour. Imagine that it's not you you're protecting, imagine that there's a child inside you who is really sensitive and easily hurt. She needs to be comforted after she's been unfairly treated and she needs to have lots of reassurance and encouragement to stop her crying and feeling low. Take her out and find people who will help, it might be that they listen to you / her, it might be that they offer new opportunities (once you start looking you will find things that interest you that you never thought about), they might simply be around. The main thing is to find friendly people and share your problems with them. It's good that you've asked this question on here but of course it's no substitute for real people, real hugs, real comfort. If you can, look on the bright side, the trials you face now will make you a stronger and more independent woman, you'll be able to sympathise with other people in the same situation and help them out. There are people around now just like this who can help you. Be strong, seek them out and don't expect anything from your Dad. It's not going to be easy, but it will never be as hard as staying as you are now. Leap - and the net will appear.
Take care of yourself and find someone who can help you feel better.
2006-10-04 23:55:14 · answer #1 · answered by Katie D 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I found there are no valid reasons for you to commit suicide. First of all,put aside your hatred towards your dad. He is your dad, he works hard and earns money to bring you up and other family members. He has so much to think and do rather than hugging you or kissing you. These things are possible when a person is mentally peaceful and happy. You are a child, who does not understand his problem and wants to die for stupid reason. It is loss for you, not for anybody, you will never get a life again, God has given you once, utilize it properly and enjoy the maximum.
Open the door and see the outside there are millions of children without father, without food, cloth, shelter. There is no pleasure, no sweet dreams in their life for ever. Yet they live with some hope. What happened to you, if you compare with them do you have any single reason to die.
It is common in south asia, when a girl grows older even their father or brother won't hug or kiss them, it does not mean that they don't love their girl. It is the way they were brought up and it always does good for the girl. You can love and express your love without touching the person also. He is you father, who have life to you,don't hate him.
So don't be stupid to commit suicide, enjoy the world. If you want to hear more from me write to
2006-10-05 00:56:41 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Krystal - I am so sorry that you are going through this with your dad. This is really hard on you and your whole family..
I know that you are depressed, but please know that killing is not the solution. You have your life ahead of you, and think about working to make this better. Is your mom at home with you to help you, or perhaps an older sibling or another trusted aunt or uncle. Or maybe your school guidance counselor could help. Please talk to someone right away.
I have two teens and my husband lost his job about 3 years ago like your dad did. THis is really hard on the whole family. Your dad loves you, but he is really struggling right now with paying the bills, adusting to a new job. He might even be feeling bad about himself because he can't provide the way he used to esp. if he was out of work for a while (so it might not be that he is being stingy). He may be so overwhelmed with everything that it is hard for him to show love - which is so hard on you.
Keep talking to your dad - and keep asking for the love you need. I don't know how old you are, but if you are old enough - maybe you could babysit or do something to buy the things you want to get.
I will keep you in my prayers, Krystal. Please email me, if you like. God bless you and keep you.
2006-10-04 23:45:04 · answer #3 · answered by Kare♥Bear 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe your father is being conservative rather than "stingy" and the way things are going these days, there's no guarantees and no such thing as job security so his first priority is to provide the necessities for his family and that is a lot of pressure and stress to put on someone. Your feeling of depression, and thinking noone understands or cares about you are all signs of being a teen. Its a roller coaster ride of emotions that seems like it will never end, but if you just hang on and ride it out you'll eventually be able to look back, understand, and actually be grateful, that your father cared and loved you enough to fight with you. He's looking out.
2006-10-05 00:35:20 · answer #4 · answered by stilsmilin31 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk with a school counsler, (I take it that you are in school). Talk to your Dad and let him know exactly how you are feeling ...talk calmly and no yelling. Ask the Lord for help. Your Dad probably has alot on his mind trying to take care of a home and while not working got behind in bills and trying to get caught up. That its self is very stressful for anyone. If you can work, get a job to help at least to take care of yourself, such as school cloths or movie or whatever. When He says you are too old for a hug, let him know that everyone, no matter what age, needs a hug. Good luck and I will keep you and your situation in my prayers... here is a hug from me to you...:)
2006-10-04 23:40:08 · answer #5 · answered by Pat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your dad WORKS for his money. If he was unemployed for awhile then he didn't have any and he probably has to catch up with bills before he can just hand some over to you. If THAT makes you depressed... grow the F up. There are kids in Ethiopia who don't even have friends who can afford to roll a joint.
If you really want to kill yourself... talk to a friend, or say that out loud to your dad. If you don't want to live anymore, then saying that to anybody won't really matter will it?
You should seek help if you really wish to end your life. If not... then give it time and you'll understand your dad even if he IS wrong.
2006-10-04 23:34:45 · answer #6 · answered by Kren777 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
look, ur too worried about something that u cant control and thats whats gonna drive u crazy! if thats how ur dad is, then u have to learn to accept it and deal wit it. i know that it might be hard, but, its not like u dont KNOW that he loves u. and dont even think u dont know!! u know he does. i wouldnt know exactly what ur goin through but i do understand how u feel. i never had a dad at all, and my mom was hardly there to be just huggin and kissin and if she was it was late! just do ur thing, whatever u do in life right now, and dont worry. ur gonna grow up and move on either way it goes, so dont make it harder than what it has to be, worrying or makin things bigger than what they r. in every situation, just sit and really think of the best and the worst that it can do to or in ur life and deal wit ea one, bc either way ur movin on no matter what, so it just depends on how u make, hard, or just movin....
2006-10-05 00:00:29 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. If you are feeling depressed, please reach out and talk to a counselor at school. It sounds as if your father is depressed also. If he was unemployed for awhile then perhaps he is being careful with his money because he needs to support you. Not all men are demonstrative (hugs, kisses). Call your local helpline to talk to someone or reach out to your local hospital's behavioral health help line . I think you definitely might want to start seeing a counselor for your feelings of low self-esteem.
2006-10-04 23:42:00 · answer #8 · answered by cheyennetomahawk 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sometimes things are just not perfect.sometimes things are going on that we don't understand especially for children.You must start to build up you strength and character now.you need to know that others behavior doesn't mean you aren't important.stop crying and decide on a life for yourself and make it happen. continue to achieve even if no one notices, even if it seems no one cares,you must learn now that even if only you care that is enough.your father wii respect your drive and strength,someday and if not then at least you won't have wasted your life in the mean time and in between time . move forward with your life and make yourself happy.
2006-10-04 23:52:06 · answer #9 · answered by punkin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i really don't see how the question about him being stingy with money and his love to u even remotely re related. or u think that if he gives u a lot of money he loves u and if he doesn't he doens't love u? grow up girl. my suggestion - u want money go get a part time job flipping burgers. and your father probably thinks that u love not him but his money. i think that too. first quit whining about money and then u 'll see whether your relations will improve
2006-10-04 23:40:15 · answer #10 · answered by jacky 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋