Is this true??? I love women but this is only a laugh, No thick answers.?

Question

Men strike back! ! ! ! ! ! !

Q. How many men does it take to open a beer?
A. None. It should be opened when she brings it.
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Q. Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
A. Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
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Q. Why do women have smaller feet than men?
A. It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
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Q. How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
A. When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."
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Q. How do you fix a woman's watch?
A. You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
-------------------------------------------------Q. Why do men fart more than women?
A. Because women can't shut up long enough to
build up the required pressure.
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Q. If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
A. The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
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Q. What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A. A woman who won't do what she's told.
------------------------------------------------ FACT. I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
-------------------------------------------------FACT. Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
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Q. Why do men die before their wives?
A. They want to.
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FACT. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
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FACT. In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

Answer 1

Oh! You love women! LOL.
Where would men be without them? Never conceived! LOL.

You just need to work on your understanding and education about the subject! LOL.

J/K.

Thanks for the laughs, and I wish you a great weekend!

Answer 2

Men are like....

1. Laxatives...................................They irritate the **** out of you.
2. Bananas................... The older they get, the less firm they are.
3. The weather ................. Nothing can be done to change them.
4. Blenders............. You need One, but you're not quite sure why.
5. Chocolate Bars ....... Sweet, smooth, &they usually head right for your hips
6. Commercials...................... You can't believe a word they say.
7. Department Stores................ Their clothes are always 1/2 off.
8. Government Bonds.. .... They take soooooooo long to mature.
9. Mascara.............. They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
10.Popcorn.................  They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
11. Snowstorms..... You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.
12. Lava Lamps........................ Fun to look at, but not very bright.
13. Parking Spots....... All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.

Answer 3

What do you say to a women with 2 black eyes??

Nothing she's already been told twice!!

What's the first thing a women does when she gets out the battered wives shelter??

The dishes if she knows what's good for her!!!

Answer 4

Heh...Pretty good. Kudos to Cassandra for the rebuttal, as well. Like it!

Answer 5

why do women get married in white ?

so they match the rest of the kitchen appliancies !!!!

Answer 6

hmmm!!! :D..and you know what, we women have a greater sense of humour, coz we can laugh with you on these jokes!!

Answer 7

thx I needed this , I don't trust nothin that bleeds fer 3 days and don't die!!!!!!!!

Answer 8

Very good.

Answer 9

90% right.

Answer 10

what did the penis say to the condom ..

Cover me i am going in