i have to get her ready for school and take him to work before i go to work, she has classes at the gym after school that i think are invaluable and i still have to pick him up get the tea ready do her homework with her, read to her and i would like to find some time to play and cuddle before bed. it just doesnt happen. before she went to school and before i had a partner i had oodles of time. How do i fit it all in and still have time to do nice things together?
2006-10-04 22:11:57 · 22 answers · asked by Stressed 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Good grief... are you the only person that this has ever happened to? NO I don't think so!!
Simply pop to the doctors and get prescribed anti-depressants like the rest of us...
2006-10-04 22:15:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
It's all about time management. Get daughter's things ready for school the night before like packed lunch, PE kit, lay out breakfast things.
Tell hubby that he has to find some other way of getting to and from work as you can't be in two places at once. He can get a car share with someone at work, walk, bus, taxi, cycle, whatever. Why is he relying on you?
If she's just started school, she can't have all that much homework. In any case, can your partner not do something to help in this area?
As far as tea is concerned, just do quick things on weekdays when you know you've not got the time. Pasta is often a good option. Overmake sauce and put some in the fridge or freezer for another day. You can cook dried pasta in about ten mins, re-heat the sauce in a mic and mix and job's a good'un. You can always add a bit of chilli powder and some kidney beans to a tomato sauce and boil up some rice, for example. Three meals all from one base. Or stick it with some mash potato as a type of shephers's pie. Straight to wok noodles, a jar of sauce and some chopped veggies take about 7 minutes to do. He can then wash up, can't he.
It is hard, I know, trying to juggle home, work, uni but something has to give. Can work re-structure your hours or can you go part time/job share? No one is superwoman and the art of good management after all is delegation. Get your daughter involved in tidying her own room, get hubby to pull his finger out as well. As I say, something somewhere will have to give if you keep up this punishing schedule. Then what would happen if you weren't able to do it all? Hubby would have to get his act together then, for sure.
2006-10-06 13:42:36 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firstly, you learn how to type a coherent question. Even if there are character limits in place, you can abbreviate without use of the childish "evryfing" and "skool"
Secondly, you dump that deadbeat you have for a partner.
Thirdly, you need to decide if you're going to school or work. You put your dreams on hold the second you had a child. Your job is now to take care of that child at all costs. Its time hunker down and have your parents take care of your child for awhile while you finish school, or find the highest paying job you can and work your classes around it.
How old is your child? Maybe its time for her to start taking some more responsibility too.
I'm sorry that this is a cold-hearted answer, but its time for some tough love in this situation. You can't have it all and you need to decide what's really important and what can be cut away.
2006-10-05 05:23:07 · answer #3 · answered by Takfam 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm curious as to how old your child is. you mention she has classes a the gym after school yet you need time to cuddle,read and play with her. Is she old enough to catch a ride with a friend? Your partner should ride along with another co-worker. You also made it sound as though you go to school too. If this is accurate are you taking courses that are offered through distant learning at your university? I did the distant learning which allowed me to complete my assignments at home. You'd be given a mentor who will provide the assignments and schedule for you turning in your papers. It was great! My son at this time had just started school and I worked part time. It gave me more flexibility to do more. help your daughter with her homework but don't do it for her! Then give about 30 minutes to play,You can cuddle while reading to her before bed.
2006-10-05 05:38:05 · answer #4 · answered by Laura R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. Dont think about more time, think about quality time. Try one day after picking your daughter up from school, sit facing her with no tv or other distractions and have a one on one conversation and LISTEN to her. now that is quality time, its long enough to impact but short enough to keep her attention span. Dont answer the phone/door during this time, make it all about your daughter. That will keep an open relationship with your daughter as she grows up. Do nice things together when you can - but with this golden 5 mins per day, she wont mind if you cant take her places all the time because she is still getting the best of you.
2. Get your partner driving lessons or a bus pass for christmas. I know its hard, maybe you have always taken him to work, but now that your timeframe has changed, he will have to make some sacrifices, or some more effort. I'm not putting him down, but most men dont volunteer themselves more work. (this i know all too well.....)
3. Make sure that in addition to the quality time you spend with your daugher/partner, you make time for yourself and your own thoughts. Having children/career/partner etc... you will never have enough time in the day, but dont stress about it - its a lifestyle choice. Make sure you have your own clear 'do not disturb' time. And you will be fine!!!
2006-10-08 17:23:52 · answer #5 · answered by topofnewyork2003 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well im goin through pretty much the same thing only i have 2 kids and a partner now my 10 year old gets herself up but my 5 year old just started school heres my schedule:
7-8:30= get kids ready and to school\
8:45-9= get home
9-9:30= Get ready for work
9:30-10= get keys,beaper,cellphone,pager,and husband up
10-5= im at work
5-6= get dinner ready
6-6:45= eat dinner
6:45-7:15= clean dishes and pick up
7:15-8= get megan (5) in bath,out, in bed and read a story to her
8-9=shower
9-10= help Alexa (10) with homework
10-10:15= get alexa to bed
10:30-7= sleep
and on tuesday, thursday, and friday alexa goes to softball from 5-8 pm and megan on friday and saturday goes to cheerleading shes a mascot. now make a shedule like i did and ull have more time than ever hopefully.
2006-10-08 21:31:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
To be honest I'm in kind of the same position as you. I also have to commute quite far every day for work, and I work 12 hrs a day(7 on, 7 off). Me and my partner just keep remembering WHY we are doing all this. And that our future is looking alot brighter because of all our hard work. Yes we've had our arguments, but stay strong. We love eachother, and our kids. But remember,there is always someone in a worse position than you.
2006-10-05 05:28:03 · answer #7 · answered by siany warny 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am the same.....it's hard I must admit but as a parent ( I am single parent ) you just learn to do it and if I must say so myself us mums do it well!!! ( and some dads also)
Never under estimate yourself, things seem to just fall into place, sometimes I dread the day ahead as i have so much to cram in, but at 8.30pm when my lil girl is in bed, the ironing for the next day is done, the dishes are washed and i have moped round, I breathe a sign of relief and think 'How the fook did I do it!', and then you realise that tomorrow you'll do it all again!
To be honest I would not put taking your partner to work as a priority, cuddles before bed with your baby would be higher on my list as well as taking her and picking her up...but thats just my opinion....
Good luk, girl, you can and will do it!!
2006-10-05 05:26:57 · answer #8 · answered by EMA 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I work a 10-6 shift and have to travel for an hour to get in to work and an hour home again, so that's effectively 9-7 each day.
I have a disabled wife who I love very much.
When I come in from work, I my evening is taken up by household chores, cooking dinner, and general housework and caring.
I have no answers on how to manage it. I just do.
2006-10-05 05:31:03 · answer #9 · answered by Swampy_Bogtrotter 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why dont you get him to learn how to drive so he can take himself to work, and bring himself home, then maybe once or twice a week pick your daughter up from school, get him to help with the tea, he eats aswell, and basically, work out a rota, so you know what your doing an when, and you can then deligate some tasks to him!
2006-10-05 05:25:45 · answer #10 · answered by Jo. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you can do it all well. You must decide what is really important. You said that your daughter is in school and classes, when does she have time to be a kid? Maybe you could reduce her schedule. What about your school? I put school on hold for eight years to be with my kids. You probably could do something similar, or reduce your class load. It would take you longer to finish, but it would give you more available time.
2006-10-05 05:32:13 · answer #11 · answered by Vonnie Dee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋