At what age do we get to do what we like without having to please other people?

Question

I am a bit fed up of having to compromise all the time, and do things I don't really want to, and visit people I don't really like, and be nice to people that I really can't stand etc. etc. etc.

I can't wait to be a grouchy old lady who hits children and small animals with her walking stick and says "What's that, Dear? I'm a bit deaf" even when she heard them perfectly well the first time, just to wind people up.

Answer 1

Never.

If anything, our growth into adulthood means we more-and-more do things to 'please' other people.

As a wife, you'll work to please your kids, your husband and possibly an employer. You'll be pulled in different directions, and you'll never have enough time for yourself.

The mark between "immaturity" and adulthood is the difference between thinking of yourself (first) and intuitively doing things for other people's benefit. It's called 'giving' and loving. In fact, social researchers would claim that these types of people ARE the happiest from all the others.

Some people just never grow up.. and stay emotional 'stunted' and think of themselves all the time. After all, selfish, egotistical, self-centered people are never really happy in the long run.

Answer 2

Sounds like you've had your fill of people for now. The age is determined by you. I too went through this and just laid it on the line with people. "Sorry, I must send my regrets. I will not be able to attend the......blah, blah, blah". No need to go any further, or make excuses, you just will not be able to attend. I never, ever, invite people into my home that I am not comfortable with. If others find it rude, well then, they can invite the person to their house! It took a bit of time, but now everyone seems to get it and not push the issue.

Life is short and relationships with family and friends should be treasured, not dreaded.

The older I get the more I appreciate spending my time how (and with those) I choose.

Answer 3

Your just about right. Being in the 60's is great! No bosses to answer to, your children are kind (they don't want to be left out of the will)Younger adults leave you alone because they know everything, and think you are a babbling idiot.Older people that complain about you will be gone soon, so who cares! I'm one of the new " 60 is the new 50's " Still in great health, still a size 6, still got my red hair! Get out of my way. I'm living my life now! I must add, when I get truly old, I don't think I'll hit children and small animals.

Answer 4

Yes, they are all right. The general pesismistic answer is "never".
You are frustrated because you have not try taking ownership in your own life.
Think for a moment, have anyone ever "teach" you to comply to "pleasing others", or "do not do what you like". No! But you are unconscientiously being forced that idealogy.
Why? We are born desperately in need of love, from anyone, from everyone. We are so afraid of ppl not being happy because of what we did.

To run things short, My Point is, you have a choice, NOW. Do you REALLY wanna wait till old age, and then to get even?, revenge of some kind?

You DO NOT have to please everyone.
You MAY please those that you please.
You MAY do what you like. (as long as its good natured, of course)

Its abt making your stand, choosing your path.

Answer 5

That all depends on when you realise that you should live your life for you and nobody else!

i realised this about a year ago, I've always been the type of person who did things for other people, always making sure that everyone else was happy before worrying about myself.

but i've since realised that you can never do something that will make everyone happy, and that most of the things you do for other people aren't aprpeciated, and eventually you just get taken advantage of!

Look after the most important person! YOU!!!!!

Answer 6

I try to do that now, at the age of 21, but it is, as you say, annoyingly hard sometimes to have to think about other people!

I think the general age of 'doing what you want without the consideration of others' is about 70 onwards. I only say this because old people tend to drive as slow and dangerously as they see fit, walk around moaning and groaning about everything, and just generally treat young people with little respect cus they arnt how they used to be!

Answer 7

It's never never never unless you want to spend life as an outcast hermit or you become fabulously wealthy.

When you're young you have to do what your parents ask.

Then you get into schooling.

After that there's the workplace politics.

Also financial and social responsibilities.

Possibly kids, then everything you do is for them but they won't see it that way.

When you get really old you might give it a shot but where's the fun in being old an lonely?

Answer 8

A Good Question , J C , I wonder if this will help you ,= I was Grouchy when I was Three . Now I,m 120 THE Government are still telling me what to do ,Grouchy ? ?? You wouldn,t believe it. -- just off to the Disco , on my Motorbike.

Answer 9

Actually, in all honesty, I don't believe that day ever really will exist. Nothing in the Bible states that rightfully and righteously, are we to do anything to please just ourselves. But speaking from experience, the only time I have ever seen people doing just what they want or thought they wanted was after being diagnosed with alzheimers.To me, there is a greater satisfaction in doing things together, whether they be deceased or alive, than to do things .

Answer 10

I started about the age of 10, and I refuse to change, I chose my friends very carefully and not one of them would ever force me to do something I feel uncomfortable with. Be who you are, it may make people feel uncomfortable at first, but better them uncomfortable with you than you ucomfortable with yourself. Though in life we must always make comprimisers, I still make a few, but I live at home so mine is because I am thankful my student debt won't be higher than it is. Maybe the time should start when you are self-sufficient.

Answer 11

At what age? Why should we have to? These are all social obligations in which we have to live. When you are having a put with all of these obligations, that does not mean you have to scoop low for all. You have to have your own stand,let them know you that there are certain things you simply could not put up with. You have a life of your own. No body can make you do the things in which you don't like to do.
To do all of these you, yoursef have to be strong enough to stand up for compromises.Certain compromise can make your life bearable but more of it will make you miserable.So no need to know the age to do what we like without having to please other people.When you please them,do they acknowledge your sacrifice.Not at all.
So be yourself, they might count you as a black sheep of the family or community but enough is enough.But again rember you have life of you own.No body can grantee next life.Do enjoy what you like to do in this beautiful life to full extent .I am telling you this out of my experience.