I have been with my boyfriend almost a year now and this is the 4th time he has not came home from work. He keeps telling me he won't do it again and he has. I love him so much and I don't know what to do I don't think I could live without him. What can I do? Please help me
2006-10-04 20:09:58 · 23 answers · asked by fields2333@sbcglobal.net 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
First of all, work on your ego. You have to think more of yourself. I don't want to send out a false message but since he's sending out a bad message, I guess I'll roll with it....
As long as he knows you will be there waiting, he's gonna lie, cheat, and abuse you (mentally)... AND MAKE YOU LOOK LIKE A FOOL. You gotta get a grip on your emotions. Why do you love this guy so much? What does he really do for you? What has he done for you besides make you sad? Does he really like you? Does he really want to be bothered with you? What is it about you that turns him off - or, that causes him to "forget" his promises?
Or... are you driving him away? Do you nag? Are you too needy? Are you too submissive? Are you too inhibited? Stop and look at yourself. You will have to change if you want to keep him. You will have to find out what he wants and needs from you. Be more assertive! Give him the chance to leave IF his bad habits don't change.
But why continue to be violated when you can be loved? What do you really need him for?
True love is founded on trust, devotion, understanding, and caring. And he's thrown all of that out of window and will continue to do that if you let him. It's obvious he doesn't care.
What do you really want for yourself? What kind of man and what kind of relationship? What will you have to do to get it? And how can you improve your self-esteem and/ or become more independent?
You have to be a Diva. You have to make him want and need you. But if you can't do that, then you need to let him go and start out new. TAKE CONTROL in your next relationship. Be more assertive about the RULES of the relationship next time around. Look for a good guy - one who's smart, funny, and that you can inspire with Love.
I hope the best for you but I really hope you take more control of your life and independence.... And, trust me, I know it's hard to change how you feel about someone but you gotta find some new hobbies (like he has) or something and focus on your happiness because he doesn't care about whether you're happy or not. At least that's the way it seems.
Brother DzL (AsP)
"The Player's Lifestyle"
2006-10-04 20:40:05 · answer #1 · answered by mo2dajizzo 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
4th time! Wow, he really knows he can get away with anything with you! Why would you let him treat you like a doormat? Where do you think he goes? Can't live without him! Good god. He seems to be able to live without you!
What can you do? Well first, realize you deserve to be treated with respect. Then, go an get some counselling on your low self esteem and confidence issues. Then tell him you won't tolerate it ever again.
2006-10-04 20:16:14 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a matter of what you can accept and what you need to reject. I had a younger boyfriend that I had to "train". He was 21 and I was 27 when we met. At first, I was very surprised as to how he led his life (cleaning, appointments, family, holidays, etc....) TOTALLY NOT ME!
Then I accepted him as he was and began to realize he would go to Atlantic City with his friends without notice and leave me behind on many occasions.
I am now 34 and he is 28. He grew out of it and appreciates the fact that I stuck around for him while letting him do his own thing. He married me!!!
As long as this guy is not abusing you or cheating on you, let him go. He will come back to you if it is meant to be!!!!
2006-10-04 20:26:21 · answer #3 · answered by bubblingbroo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To start with, if he knows how you feel, that you "cant live without him" then hell, hes set, he knows you will do about anything to keep him in your life,, INCLUDING forgiving him for not coming home the night before,, Well, I would say this --- Dont be such a damn fool, he stays out, he cheats and fools around but will tell you everything you want to hear to keep your little heart happy and satisfied, Kick him to the curb, move on to someone who will treat you like you want to be treated, just remember hes playing you for the fool that your being
2006-10-04 20:18:54 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't respect you enough. You both need to fix this problem or be don't with the relationship. Ask him how he would like it if YOU didn't come home from work. How about if you just dissapeared for weeks at a time? He'd most likely be pretty lissed and finally he would realize how unfair he's being.
2006-10-04 20:11:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
U r absolulty confused, One time u love ur friend so much that u can't leave without him and otherside u don't understand that he is busy in his work and can't come home early and it is just four time in a year. It may possible that u r doubting him.
I want to tell u one thing no relation will go through without belive.
So belive him and be huppy (happy).
2006-10-04 20:14:30 · answer #6 · answered by Frank 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's really at work trying to meet deadlines. It is unlikely he will change his habits. It's also likely his job depends on him completing projects by a certain time otherwise he could be let go. So you need to find out why he is doing this and you either need to live with his schedule or you will be splitting up.
2006-10-04 20:13:29 · answer #7 · answered by Kainoa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What precisely is he doing? If he's dishonest on you and he is aware of you comprehend it, then you recognize what you ought to do. Don't allow him stroll all over the place you. You don't seem to be serving to the problem by way of doing not anything. You might maintain him, however you cannot make him maintain you. Just ease out of his lifestyles and get on with yours.
2016-08-29 07:38:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can live without him... But that's besides the point...
Don't spend your life staying with people just because you're afraid of losing them...
If you're happy, you're happy... If you're not, you're not...
Love for someone can last forever, but not all relationships should last forever...
You need to ask yourself, How Much Good am I getting from this relationship... And how much bad...
If there's more good than bad, than fine...
But, Honesty is also Extremely Important... If the two of you don't have that, than you're setting yourself up to be hurt...
Take Care of yourself in this life... Don't Cling to people who aren't meeting you half way in a relationship...
Fight for your happiness in your life, even if that means leaving people that you love, but who aren't good for you...
You love him, that's fine... But is he good for you? Are you really happy, or are you too driven crazy by the situation to really actually be happy?
Fight for you... Trust in yourself... And don't stay with someone who isn't meeting you half way...
2006-10-04 20:18:14 · answer #9 · answered by Corandero 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would give him a taste of his own medicine. Why don't you go out one time and stay out? It doesn't matter how innocent it is, if you do it once and don't show up until the next day, I guarantee he will make a choice. If he chooses to end it, all the better for you.
2006-10-04 20:14:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋