Here 's the deal. I've been wit this one dude for a month now, and we're doing pretty good, (he just got outta jail in April) but there is something that is confusing me. Dont get me wrong, he calls me whenever he can, and tells me he loves me n stuff like that, and we spend as much time as we can together. I understand that he doesn't have nothing (i.e. clothes, money, car, etc.) since he came out, so I'm (lightweight) helping him out, but I dont want my kindness to be taken for a weakness. Does he really love me like he says or is he just using me to get money and materialism things like what I've been doing? Should I stop doing things for him? HELP!
2006-10-04 19:07:08 · 7 answers · asked by Sexy n Spoiled ^^ 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Plus, he's looking for a job, trying to get a new house, and getting his car. WTF should i frikin do?
2006-10-04 19:29:26 · update #1
well there isn't anyway to tell if he loves you except ask I mean is he trying to better himself? like look for a job and get on his feet, i don't think he should rely on you this much it sounds like he's using you hunn.. Best way to know is to talk to him :S
2006-10-04 19:10:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, but my opinion he's using you. 1 month and he's telling you he loves you? Most men won't even say that after a year lol. Did he ask you for those things or did you just volunteer to buy them? Try this, cut him off. Tell him you have some new expense and can't afford to give him anymore $$ or things. And stick to it, not 1 cent no matter if he begs and pleads whatever. If he still comes around all the time, ok give it time maybe he's legit. If he stops calling, spending time with you, you've got your answer. Good luck!!
2006-10-05 02:15:48 · answer #2 · answered by tikitiki 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How does he make you feel? If he makes you feel like you are a better person when he's with you stay with him. If he makes you feel like crap when you are together, blow him off.
Next problem. Is he trying to get his shtuff together? Is he doing everything possible to get out of the situation in his own? Or, is he just sitting around relying on you?
If he is doing his best to be somebody.......support him, and do everything that you can to help, and ENCOURAGE him. If he's just kinda tryin', but not really, then get away from him because he is just doing just enough to get you to give him sympathy. Also to get you to buy him what ever he wants.
Why would he try harder if you are a good slave?
If he is trying though, be cool, to him. He is in a REALLY stress full time in his life.
I hope for BOTH of your sakes, he is trying to be a good man. there aren't very many of us left these days.
I was once in his shoes. No education, no job, just out of jail (I had been there for 5yrs). I had to scratch and claw my way to the top. I think that he can too.
2006-10-05 02:22:21 · answer #3 · answered by Prez 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You ran into your first problem when you said "he just got outta jail" what are you doing with a guy who can't even obey the law? You need to find yourself a real man. And yes he is more than likely using you. RUN RUN as fast as you can in the opposite direction and don't look back. You'll be better off without him.
2006-10-05 02:11:06 · answer #4 · answered by Fuzzybunny95531 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I understand you wanting to help your guy, and thats perfectly fine. But HELP HIM HELP HIMSELF. Buy the newspaper and look at potential job openings with him. Take him to job interviews. If he really loves you he would appreciate that more than you giving him a free meal ticket. Think about it and trust your instincts. 9 times out of 10 your instincts tell you right. Good luck!
2006-10-05 02:22:36 · answer #5 · answered by Baby boy blue 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should take a look at whats going on from an outside perspective. Do YOU love him? Do you like him? Is the relationship your having just out of pity? i think that if you are worried about the amount you are spending, it might be enough. you should get stuff for him cause YOU want to... not because he cant be stuffed to get it himself.
2006-10-05 02:11:30 · answer #6 · answered by nik 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try to put him in a situation like telling him your broke and the likes then if he starts to fade you'll know the answer to your question.
Good Luck!!! ^_^
2006-10-05 03:54:45 · answer #7 · answered by Jowi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋