HELP!! I need some suggestions....?

Question

I have a friend who has been quite depressed lately...he feels alone and no matter how hard he works he never gets great results (just avg. ones). He's even thought about committing suicide and feels that no one cares about him. I feel so very helpless and I do not know what to do to make him feel better. I myself am going through a rough time and hence I guess am bogging him down with my probelms too! We don't meet up, just talk on the phone (we used to go to the same school but he recently shifted to another school). I know not much will make me feel better but I want to make things better for him as I feel that I've made his life worse.However, I have no ideas.He's not very open and keeps a lot of things to himself...both of us have problems trusting people {due to various experiences}.We both need someone and I'd like to be that person for him and whenever I try to help him or try to get through him it never works.I feel like a horrible friend. Any suggestions would be appreciated.

Answer 1

I am now over 3 years together with my fiancee. I know him for 5 years and the time we met he was soooo depressed (also talking about suicide) and my suggestion to you would be to have A LOT of patience for him, to try talking when ever you can (even writting as many people here suggested, as this makes people more relaxed and more able to be honest) so he would see he can trust you and open up, and last but not least no matter what he sais understand it! He just needs somebody who will understand what ever is happening in his life. Depressed people often can't get cheerful when somebody is trying to brighten their days with being super positive, they actually even tend to get more depressed as they see they can't be that happy as person who is trying to make them feel like that. So key is understanding! Start from these few things and see where it takes you....However, let me add that exactlly this way i helped my fiancee get out of his depression and through the trust that started existing between us from that time, we even realized we are soulmates!We couldn't be happier now :) Hope this helps! Good luck!

Answer 2

Honey please don't feel like a horrible friend because it is not your fault that he is depressed. What you should do and this will make you a good friend is tell someone in his family that he is depressed and contemplating suicide. They could take him to a Psychiatrist for an evaluation and possibly put him on an anti-depressant to help him out some. You could be saving his life. It would only make you a better friend to him. What if you don't say anything and he does commit suicide won't you feel like the responsible one? Seriously go to someone in his family and tell them of his plan. People that do not share their problems are the most at risk for suicide because he never says what he is going to do. I am Bipolar and have seen this over and over again. Thankfully those people didn't succeed at it and neither did I on my three or four attempts. He is a threat to himself right now. Please think about what I said to you because I don't want you to go through your life wondering if you could have saved him. Do him a big favor and be his best friend of all. Good Luck and God Bless you.

Answer 3

I think you have a huge heart but with this particular friend you are hitting a brick wall and therefore it is causing you a lot of stress. If you have friends that drag you down, they drain you of your energy and you begin to feel depressed. There is only so much you can do, and it seems to me that you have offered yourself as his best friend. But since that is not working, maybe it is time to let go, and let him find his own way. He may need counseling or prescription drugs for depression. But at this point, you have done everything you could possible do to help him. The best thing to do is try to stop worrying over him all the time, which will stress you out. Find your own LIFE and the things that make you happy. Achieve your goals. Not everyone can be helped no matter how much you try. You have to hang out with people that uplift your Spirit or you will feel dragged down. PLEASE distance yourself from him until you are stable enough to be strong when you are around him. Good luck.

Answer 4

You like your friend, and like to help .... So take some trouble... Spend some time, a few minutes, to close eyes and create a visual image of that friend as a very very very successful person, happy, cheerful, active, trusting, loving, and very friendly to all and liked by all. Allow this image to grow as strong as possible , better each time. Now when you talk to him on phone, have this image in mind, and look at this image and talk. Never mind any minor mismatch with what you hear... With some patience you MUST be able to see noticeable improvement.

Answer 5

Try to get him consult a psychiatrist. He needs a combination of pharmacological management and psychotherapy. He will be okay in 3 - 6 months of treatment. Act fast, these people may kill themselves anytime. If he is not willing to see a doctor, put him on valium 2mg a day and try again after 5 days. Drugs like Zoloft, Paxil and Prozac may help him.

Read this and decide what to do: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clinical_depression

Answer 6

Try writing to him. Send an email and be sure to edit out everything about your problems before you send it. Keep suggesting professional help and a support group (try it for yourself too). If you ever feel that he's in imminent danger call 911 right away.

Answer 7

We all go through that sometime in life. It is when it lasts too long that it is a problem. Email me... I maybe can help because I am older, female and been through it. You are probably his best friend right now.

Answer 8

you say he's u'r best frnd....
but u don seem to be actin like one, u know..
friendship is a 2 way process.
u hav to trust him to allow him to trust u..
if u really think he's a gud frnd, try this out...........
u say, u hav a lot of problems u can't handle....
so y not see if your frnd has any bright ideas to handle it..
this will show him how much u'r goin through and also initiate him
to share his troubles(and surely, if its any indication, he's tried suicide, help him girl!)
good luck!!!

Answer 9

Keepping contact with him and the rest of the world.

Answer 10

FIRST of all do you have a EMAIL address? write him. KEEP in touch.