What am i doing wrong?

Question

So i know this girl. We've been to dinner twice now, and nothing physical has happened. She's mentioned still being a bit hung up on her ex, and last weekend, i sort of caught her in a lie when i 'bumped' into them at the movies. but she still asks me to have dinner with her, like shes interested in me, and i still dont make moves because im weary of her situation with her ex. Should i go for it and try to make a move, or should i ask her where things stand with her and him and where i might fit into it all, or what? I like her personality, her flaws, her appearance, etc., but im a man and i have my limits. I also dont think i should have to "put up" with the run-around. So what do i do?

Answer 1

Ok man, I really like the way you think. You're right, you are a man and you don't need to put up with all the run around.

On the issue of the ex: don't really worry yourself over seeing them together. Sometimes people who have broken up tend to become good friends afterwards. I mean, after you've been with them for such and such a time, you can't just stop talking to each other or hanging out. It's probably cool.

I liked your idea of talking to her about the subject. I like that a lot. Women love it when a man is purely honest and if that is what you're thinking, then by all means, ask her.

However, don't make the mistake of being needy and desperate because that is the ultimate turn-off. Play it cool and see where it takes you.
Hope this helps and best of luck to ya!
~D.

Answer 2

You've had two dates so I think by the third one, its well enough time to be able to ask her these questions straight up. Tell her that you like all the things that you told us and just ask her what the deal is with the ex & where you stand in all of it. If you are nice in your manor and honest then I don't think that there is any problem in doing that. If she gives you an answer that you are happy with and can live with, make your move. Just be weary about being used. She may still love her ex but he may not treat her right so she is using you for all the things he doesn't give her. Us women will allow you to do as much as you are willing for us and it sounds like she may be using him as an excuse. Be pleasant to her and don't be a demanding a*s but have some respect for yourself, be honest and assertive. Women like men to be assertive and so telling her honestly what you don't want will make her think that if she really wants you, then she has to make a decision and quit using you for a way around him. Honestly, if you play the nice guy who listens about the ex, is understanding of her situation etc without being assertive as to your own wants, then she will treat you like a girlfriend, keep you hanging on then come out with the 'just as a friend' line. Stop that before it happens but remember there is a difference between being assertive and demanding. If you straight out demand then she will think you are an a*s

Answer 3

OK, if she already being hung up on her ex means, NO ENTRY FOR YOU!!!
she is basically saying,"don't event think about it."
so you bumped into with her ex and caught her in a lie?
man things have a funny way of happening for a reason,don't you think?
The whole dinner thing, is she paying for it at least? if not your basically being played for a fool using you to feed her, terrible. She seems interested in EATING I don't think so much you.
OK so you seem like your ready for some action,from the sounds of it, the only man she wants to get busy with is that "secret ex." I would seriously drop her, I mean come on.
Please you cannot be that blind.
I know you have your limits and that limit should have been exercised when she mentioned being hung up on the ex, THEN bumping into them together at the movies, sounds like she is playing you for dinner and him for a movie. You see blind man, the cruelness and perks that a beautiful woman has?
Be better that that and stop her in her tracks, how, dropping her like she is literally HOT!!!

Answer 4

yes, I think that it is important to get the story straight

even if she is still seeing him off and on she might want you as a side dish so to speak

you need to know that you are being used this way and if it is okay with you continue

also it sounds like she is using you as moral support

If you are truely interested in her than don't do anything physical until she is clear of her ex then make your move, but that doesn't mean you cannnot continue to have dinner with her and be friends

just hold off until she is not in the rebound stage anymore

Answer 5

Hey, give the lady space to work things out; either severing the relationship, or getting with you.
You say you can't wait forever, but you've only been on two dates with her. Man, you are some kind of impatient! You think she's going to hop in the sack on your next date? Maybe you ought to take that thing into your own hands for a while.
She's still free, and so are you. respect that!

Answer 6

I think u should move on. Sounds to me that she is still seeing her EX and well...there a prenty of other women out there looking for a good man.

Answer 7

I would say forget it. They were in the movies together. Just find someone else. After break-ups, people just want to get back with there ex, and then they finally realize that there was a reason to break up with them to begin with. Good luck.

Answer 8

I think you would be best to ask her where things stand before you get more emotionally invested in her. Otherwise you will always be wondering and it is not a good start if you want a real relationship. Hope it all works out!

Answer 9

Depending on what you really want from her do either one
I.e.
If you really like her and want to date her, then you should sit down with her and talk about what you both want from this relationship. If she really likes you this will set her straight.
OR
If you only want her body then just make a move. If she responds she responds, if not you move on. It's not life or death.

Good luck ;)

Answer 10

Listen buddy, you guys went out twice.
Your relationship is just starting.
After a few more dates she might change her outlook and see you have more potential for a boyfriend.