Hope some nice people out there have some really good advice?? My best friend for the last five years told me he was in love with me 2 years ago. We were sort of 'together' without being official. I thought that I loved him, but now I'm not sure. I've got a lot of things to worry about at the moment: uni and the start of a potentially fantasic career. I told him about my unsurety, and sometimes he's alright with it, and other times, he just gets really super angry, sad, depressed, and tries to sort of 'force' me back into the relationship. I really want to keep his friendship, tho...
2006-10-04 18:01:59 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Okay i dont know about everyone else but this seems a tad bit controlling. Ummm, this is your life too and you have a right to live it. DONT let anyone force you back into a relationship. He's holding you back and if he truly loved you he would let you go until you are ready for the real thing. He sounds selfish. He may not be a bad guy but he's not the guy for you right now. Explain to him what you feel about this relationship. If he doesnt get it distance yourself. Emotionlly needy guys need a "door mat" to blame their bad behavior on. Dont let this be you. It may not be physically abusive yet but it is certainly emtionally abusive now!!!!
Remember this is your life. Be in charge. Let him go if this is the case. He needs to grow. You already have.
I dont mean to sound harsh but this is how i got stuck in my bad relationship. It's hard but you can break that cycle.
2006-10-04 18:12:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is one thing my dad always told me, "don't stay with a person just because you feel sorry for them". It is obvious that you do care for this person and possibly love him very much. But the thing is you have not been honest with yourself.
First off, you have to discover what type of love you feel for him.
-do you need him around you alot
-do you feel comfortable with him (all aspects of the relationship)
-does he make you happy
-do you make him happy
-do you look forward to other relationships
You have to analyze yourself and see what's going on. Maybe you can try by breaking up with him for some time and see how you feel about it.
And don't let him force you back into the relationship or manipulate you. If that's the case than it's not a healthy relationship.
I do wish you luck, love is a hard thing to cope with in life. Maybe one the most difficult, most of your greatest troubles, decisions, fears, moments will have a lot to do with love.
2006-10-05 01:12:57 · answer #2 · answered by mmrjat2001 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to take care of yourself before you can be in a relationship.. If you don't think that you want to be in the relationship and you are best friends, he should see that it is what you need and be able to be ok with that. Men sometimes get nutty when women don't like them anymore, but I'm sure you guys can work through it, esp if you have the history of a friendship behind it. Just give him some time, I think it will work out ok.. And who knows, maybe your feelings toward him will change again :-) Good luck!
2006-10-05 01:07:31 · answer #3 · answered by Emmy Jay 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One of my good friends said that to me a few months ago, after I moved to a different state. He keeps saying that if his g/f wasn't in the picture that things between us would be different. I have told him that I value our friendship and that I don't feel anything for him than friendship. Don't get me wrong I love him dearly but as a friend. Keep telling him how you feel, tell him you value his friendship more than anything else and that you don't want to ruin your friendship with each other. Think Buffy and Xander, out of Buffy the Vampire slayer.
2006-10-05 03:55:05 · answer #4 · answered by Marea S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ooh, you've got a clinger on your hands. A clinger is a man who is needy, desperate, and most likely a pushover. You say he's sometimes not okay with being just friends. What a fool! He needs to realize that friends is okay! Best mates make best lovers with plenty of time and patience. I hope you're out there in the dating scene because you needn't get yourself all worked up over a guy that you don't need to! Hope this helps and best of luck to ya, babe!
~D.
2006-10-05 01:11:21 · answer #5 · answered by conservative_rocker1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take care of youself first. I know his sounds selfish, but years of expierence has taught me that you should heed your insticts, no matter whether or not someone gets their feelings hurt. Time heals all. Who needs that kind of control freak...that's what he's doing- controlling you. Put the friendship on hold.
2006-10-05 01:07:56 · answer #6 · answered by JT F 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honesty is the best policy.. if you would like to keep your friendship tell him how you feel. Tell him you really need to focus on your career, and really love him as a brother..... if he really cares for you he will understand and hopefully keep his distance
2006-10-05 01:07:07 · answer #7 · answered by mikey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just keep telling him the truth and if he is a real friend he would not get angry - he will eventually get over it. He is trying to manipulate you (whether he realises it or not)
2006-10-05 01:06:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
your friendship will never be the same , now that you have taken it to another level.just tell him, you and him got alone better when you were just friends, and you really miss your friend, because that is all you want to be.
2006-10-05 01:07:31 · answer #9 · answered by queenmidas1014 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He can't handle just friends, make it a clean break and go your own way.
2006-10-05 01:04:54 · answer #10 · answered by Pantherempress 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋