I'm stumped, I don't know what to say.?

Question

I am a Christian. I am on here a lot and answer a lot of questions about Religion, but, I find I'm stumped. My daughters friend, who happens to be a family friends son, says he is an atheist. I can answer questions on here, but to talk Religion to him I get tongue tied. , and go completely blank. He's so young, he's 14. He's a smart kid, but very troubled, but a good boy. How do I talk to him? What do I say? Why do I get tongue tied about a topic I know a lot about? I really want to talk Religion with him, he brings it up and wants to talk about it, But, I just don't know what to say to him.

Listening to him, I do that a lot. It is a good idea.
And you are right, I think he will make a good scientist. He is a very intelligent boy.

And, I think you are right, I am too close. I have known him his whole life.

So many great answers, Nicole, Star, todieisga..., desiree. All good advice, Thank You so much.
alma, yeah it could be stage fright.

LIZZY, God Bless You! Thank You! It means a lot.

For now I'll just listen, and be there for him.

Well, actions speek louder than words, and either he's at our house or my daughter and I are at his house every day. His father owns the field where we keep our horses, so he;s around us all the time. Our family is completely different than his. And he likes it at our house.

Well, actions speek louder than words, and either he's at our house or my daughter and I are at his house every day. His father owns the field where we keep our horses, so he;s around us all the time. Our family is completely different than his. And he likes it at our house.

Answer 1

Maybe you don't need to say anything! Be there for him to talk to and be a good Christian example for him. It is not up to you to convert him, only God can do that. He may use you though, so pray and until you have your answer from God just be a good listener and example!

Answer 2

What do you mean when you say he's "troubled"? Is it just because he's an Atheist that people (I'm assuming the local adults) think he's troubled? Or is he into dangerous stuff like drugs and guns ect.?

Brilliant kids are often labelled as "troubled" because nobody knows what to do with them, not because they're doing anything worse than challenging authority and being the rabble-rousers they are born to be; but if he's really into the bad stuff, he needs more than a talk about Spirit. But you say he's a good boy, so that counts.

I'd say if he wants to talk religion with you, let him talk. Getting a teen to open up in any case is hard enough, and if one wants to talk to you, you're blessed. And don't believe anybody who says that a 14-year-old is a child with no fixed opinions about faith--that's COMPLETELY untrue. I know some seriously DEEP teens from 11-17 who see the world around them and know exactly what's going on, and their opinions and ideas about God and politics and society in general are precious and priceless and should be treated as such. In fact, I was one myself back in the day and wasn't heard much by the adults in my life, so I make it a practice now to pay careful attention any time a kid/teen wants to talk to me about anything important to him/her.

The single WORST thing you can do to a teen who thinks of you as a resource is to patronize him/her, especially about matters of the Spirit. Let him talk, and be honest about being tongue-tied. I'll bet he doesn't get many adults being honest with him about not having all the answers at the ready, and if he sees that you're being real with him, he'll be real with you.

Answer 3

I would say it is easier here b/c you are not on the spot. I would recommend first assessing your approach. Nobody will change thier mind overnight or especial in a conversation. It is too embarrassing. These things take time and be aware of this. You might not ever see the change.

There is also the possiblity that he is merely wanting to push buttons and not engage in real conversation. Either way, I would just be as kind as you can in conversation and life because this will go far. I would also recommend studying up on the topic with good sources. I know of too many people who use cliche arguments which do not hold weight.
Hope this helps.

Answer 4

You can pray for God to give you boldness & the Holy Spirit to be your teacher & guide. The disciple were so beaten & downcast in Acts, they pray that prayer & the Holy Spirit came upon them. From that pentecost day onwards they become bold & have the right words given to them to speak for every situation. Spend time reading the bible & an evangilistic books or brochure. Take note the scripture they used. Also find out what the young man like, hobbies, eg. astronomy & you can tell him how there must be a creator by looking at the complexity of the star, what the bible said about creation etc. Memorise scriptures & in due course the Holy Spirit will whisper in your ear to give you the right words for the season.

Hope this is helpful. Peace. lady

Answer 5

I don't have a lot to add. Yes, listen. Ask sincere questions and be prepared to accept his answers. Don't try to trick him into a position he doesn't want to hold. Chances are his decision is half logic, half emotion. Just don't start with the intention to "talk him into" belief. You'll sound desperate. Don't worry. Fourteen's pretty young to permanently make up one's mind about anything.

And don't forget, actions speak louder than words. Be a role model. I don't mean going to church, I mean the care and love you show to others, friends and strangers. You might want to consider how your belief affects your behavior. If he sees something admirable about your actions or character, he may develop enough curiosity and want to know more about what makes you tick. (But don't expect this to happen for a looooong time.)

Answer 6

If he brings up the subject with you and you do not want to talk about it, then tell him that. If you do and you continue the conversation, then you better be able to contend your side of the discussion. If you are trying to convert him, stop. He has made his decision on his beliefs, let him be his own person. If you cannot maintain a conversation while explaining your side of the subject, then you only encourage his way of thinking. If you are thinking that this is causing you some kind of faith delimma, then you should discontinue the conversations or do more homework.
Relegions are based on faith and a lot of the teachings cannot be explained rationally. By talking to an atheist, you are talking to someone who has no faith in any thing that cannot be explained. I should know, I consider myself one.

Answer 7

Are you sure his parents aren't as well? Look, next time you are talking to his parents bring it up and mention that he's been asking about your religion. If they are not religious people but would be open to their son going to church with you one morning, and if he wants to go, then take him.

But do not push and do not go at it with an attitude that you know what is right or best. If he is interested and wants to know about your religion it is important that you let him make the decisions and seek out the info himself. You will only be in the position to put it in front of him as access to the info if he wants it. Wanting to talk to him about it as a way of trying to make him a believer, bring him to Jesus, or to get him saved is not the way to go. And if he ends up deciding it's not for him, then you'll have to just breath deep and accept that. Many 14-year-olds are troubled, if he's a good kid he will turn out ok as long as he has good role models in his family and family-friends and good guidance on life things in general. Non belief does not make him troubled.

Answer 8

Maybe ask him about his troubles and ask him if he has ever thought that their might be a God but his troubles have kept him from believing. Just take it slow and then slowly start using a third person approach--don't say he should do this or he should do that--what is important is what he will think to himself in the privacy of his own heart so say things like so and so was having a hard time with such and such but she started praying and guess what happened--you know use success stories. People do not want to be told that they should do something but, if they hear that alot of other people are doing it then they might want to do it too. It may sound naive but, Sr. Augustine said it when he said "Our hearts are restless until we rest in you Lord"

Answer 9

The main thing is not to coerce him. If you believe that Christianity is something great, then you can passively tell him a few of its attributes, thinking in advance how you can best explain them to him according to the way you think his mind works.

But make sure it's passive, and that it's done in a manner of "Here it is. Either take it or it's not for you."

And also, prepare yourself to remain passive throughout in advance. Prepare yourself initially in what your goal is for talking religion to him (the ultimate goal of each of the most popular 3 religions is "love thy neighbor as thyself"); so prepare your approach to him that it will be out of love; and prepare for different kinds of responses he might say, and that you will maintain your attitude of love toward him no matter what he responds with.

If he becomes active and attacking, make sure you remain passive and loving, and keep the attitude of "Here it is. If you don't like something in it, then it's not for you."

The worst thing you can do is to get into a war of opinions, where both of you think that you're "right" and the other is "wrong."

Answer 10

I think your loving him says more than words ever could. People can feel the love of God coming from God's people and for some reason they like to feel that. Keep loving Him, don't preach but answer as the Holy Spirit guides you....I see Him being saved and a advocate for God.