I met this guy I am now playing music with. The moment I met him, I knew I really was going to like him, and he seemed to feel the same way. A lot of things have happened, including him quitting an orchestra he was in to play more music with me. However, in the 3 months we have known each other, there has been an undercurrent of mutual interest. We both seem so much of the time pretty much at the cusp of asking each other out, but have been gradually becoming more open and comfortable.
I heard from another source that at least 3 mos ago, he had a serious girlfriend. Things have gone far beyond the point when he should have brought this up, but he never has. He is opening up, generally speaking, but to get him to open up more, I asked him recently if there was some reason why there might be some unspoken boundary between us, and he was very reassuring and kind, and said he would try and do better. Do you think he does still have a serious girlfriend? How can I find out?
2006-10-04 17:44:13 · 5 answers · asked by calliope 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Without the music part, this is the situation that happened with my ex and his (now) wife. We were dating and things weren't going as well as he would have like, obviously. I didn't know any of this at the time, but here's how his wife told me it went.
My ex works with a lot of people his age. Women and men, and so it was sort of like a community of their own in there. I was excluded from most of the get togethers, mainly because I was not 21and the hangout was the bar and he was in his mid twenties. As things were not the greatest between us, he started hanging out with his guy friends a lot and they would bring girls that worked with them out, too. His now wife, was new to town and didn't have a whole lot of friends, so she befriended my ex and his friends (guys & girls).
After time, she found out that he was dating someone. She and him didn't really talk about me, but, it was known that I was in the picture. He didn't bring me up to her at all, but once or twice a friend of his did. He was eagerly wanting to be with her, but didn't want to hurt me. He did end up breaking it off with me to be with her.
It could very well be the same situation for you. I'm glad that I know what happened all those years ago, and I found out from his wife. What you need to do, so you aren't the "other woman" is tell him that you know about this girl, and want to know if he is considering being exclusive with you, or just wanting something on the side. Then you'll have your answer. Good luck :)
2006-10-04 17:56:46 · answer #1 · answered by Rachael 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just come right out and ask him point blank. This is your life too. Don't waste it on that game. Is he single is he taken. Waste of your time. Odds are if you just bluntly say it he wont have time to lie. Whats it gonna hurt. You invested this much time, why waste anymore being unsure.
2006-10-04 17:49:16 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
People tend to find couples where none exist. All through Highschool people would tell me they saw me with my girlfriend when I was single...
You might ask around, it's entirely possible that the "serious Girlfriend" he has is you.
2006-10-04 17:51:28 · answer #3 · answered by ye_river_xiv 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what the? whats the problem, ask him straight up. Tell him how you feel. You may want to be cautious, you might be his guilty secret that she does not know about.
Good luck, and I hope im wrong.
2006-10-04 17:54:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU WONT KNOW UNTIL YOU ASK HIM POINT BLANK,
IF HE SEEING SOMEONE, COMMUNICATE IS THE KEY TO
ANY RELATIONSHIP.
2006-10-04 17:48:26 · answer #5 · answered by luckystar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋