should i give up,after 4 years?

Question

i love my boyfriend dearly, put we can't get it together. He's always stressed out about life itself.i try to be there for him, and im going thur hard times myself right now, and just trying to think postive about life. We both have kids outside the relationship and love them all,but child support stops alot of fun from happen. my thing is we don't always have to go out and spend money to have a good time, just make time for each other.now we are living in different places, and that not even a problem but he feel like now its ok that we are like we are. i want more. i have given up on relationships in the pass because i am so independent and want let anyone run over me. but i've never felt this way before even with my kids father. and they haven't last more than 2 years.Never had a relationship to last this long. He 's good to me but is that enought? don't want to be with anyone else sexually with the way sex is today.AIDS and STD's should i work it out? Oh and we are engaged.

Answer 1

he is probably depressed, bear with him and be patient, don't run out of a relationship at d first sign of stress or if things aren't going ur way or u'll be running all ur life, deal with this and try to make it work, think of ur children too and d effect it will have on them if u keep changing partners. good luck

Answer 2

We can only give you our opinions, there is not an actual yes or no answer for this type of question, this is certainly a question that you yourself must decide in the end.
With the little bit of info you have given, I would say you are certainly correct in stating you don't have to spend a lot of money to have a good time. The fact that you each live separately and both have kids, spending time with each other would be the best thing for all of you if you intend to marry this man. You mention you are going through some hard times right now and that he is always stressed out about life in general. It sounds to me that you should think about that in its self. Do you think it would be a good idea to mingle the stresses of everyday life with one another and subject the children to double the stress?
I don't know the whole situation so my advice would be not to necessarily give up just yet, but certainly not to marry. Four years is a long time, but a marriage is a lifetime. Ask your boyfriend/fiance' if he would be willing to go to couple's counseling, possibly try living together after or during that, find out if he is really a man you can live and love and then proceed from there.
I wish you luck in whatever you eventually decide! :)

~Sabrina Lily~

Answer 3

I think you already know the answer. However, it is hard, sometimes you'd rather put up with anything than be alone and struggling on your own, even if you think you are independent. I hear alot of justifying when you describe your relationship. You should see a counsellor who can help you sort out your issues. 4 years is a long time to walk away from. There may be something really worth staying for.

Answer 4

Maybe you are meant to be together to help each other through some tough times. Then once you learn to get over or beyond your troubles, you can enjoy each other more. He sounds like he may have some issues to work out, mentally. What is not working, here? Do you think you can make it work with taking care of the kids, and if he has kids living w/you too? I think you should try to work it out. Sometimes one person has to be strong for the other person, when they are not. Just don't wear yourself out. Good Luck

Answer 5

you seem too focused on the "relationship" label.
It seems to me that you are having a hard time deciding just because you are attached to this relationship.
so instead, just forget about that, throw the relationship label out the window and just look at it like this... it's just you and him and the kids and the situation. is it a good situation? no
are you happy? no
is he a person you want to put up with? no
don't be so wrapped up in these ideals about relationships, engagements and etc. reality does not live up to fantasy.
you know the answer to your boy trouble.
get rid of this one!
billions more out there.
as far as the AIDS thing goes... that has nothing to do with your current guy. most people do not have AIDS. so you should not let fear keep you trapped with a guy you are not really happy with.

Answer 6

You can try to push the relationship forward, make plans when and how you going get married.Always having some plans change the present to think for future but the limitations can brings stress to both of you.

Answer 7

true love means being together no matter what! true love means nothing is ever bad enough that you don't look at each other and smile. If you think it's worth it , it probably is. If you can see yourself in this same situation in a year time, you need to change something, maybe he's just not THAT into you. or maybe you just need an action plan. good luck.

Answer 8

If you loved him you wouldn't be thinking of giving up would you??
As i always say no relationship will last unless you work on it.
Ask him for what you want out of the relationship because if you don't ask you may never receive!!! & work out together what is best for the both of you don't make it all one sided

Answer 9

Sorry to tell u put get out the relationship!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
my mother is in the same boat but worst the man does crackcoacain there are plenty of fish in the sea find some one who wants to be with u and can support and love u

Answer 10

Communication is the word!!!! Talk to him, let him know how you feel... If you want to move in with him, tell him. Obviously you love this man and want to pursue the relationship. Then pursue it. Try and work out your differences. If it fails, then it will be time to move on, but not just now...