I am in a tough position right now.. I met a man about a year ago..shortly after we met he went on deplyoment..we talked over the time he was gone and his feelings grew very strong for me. I felt for him as a friend and wanted to take it really slow as I was just getting out of a divorce and causally dating and just having fun ..While he was overseas, I continued a relationship with a man that I had been casually dating prior.. I mean this guy, we had the BEST time together, more than anyone in my life - even as a young teenager (Im 28) - he kept me challenged , didnt give into my every demand..great sex the whole 9 - but that is all he wanted, ever. no marriage, no kids.. So Mr overseas is back, nice, great family man, will do anything for me.. Why am I STILL thinking of this other man? Is there something wrong with me?
2006-10-04 17:21:02 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
like you've said, you like the man because he challenges you. There is nothing wrong with that. However, in this situation, you shouldn't listen to your heart. You know what you want and if he's not going to give you a family, then why bother and waste your time. You should go for the guy whom you think will be able to give you what you want. Right now, you might like him because it's fun and game but eventually, you're going to want someone who will commit to you. I would say go with what you know you want or will eventually want.
2006-10-04 18:00:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No sounds like you have your priorities right. You are thinking of him because he's probably what you should go for. If that's the kind of life you want. Unless he's boring and you're not attracted to him. How is your communication with this other guy? Can you talk to him normally and deeply? you just have to decide what it is you want. If you want marriage and a family or not. Don't give up those dreams if you have them now. There might be some amazing things about this guy you are dating with the sex and everything else that you are having such a great time, but what really matters to you. Do you want to stay with the same guy until you are 50 or so and then not have sex anymore from age. You can't have sex forever. There has to be something that keeps the relationship alive and thriving other than just a great sex life. There might also be some things that you like about this guy but they are certain qualities that you don't like about him as well. you can never escape that. No one is perfect. we all have flaws. so figure out what his flaws are. are there some qualities that this other guy that just got back have that you want that are more important than just the sexual aspect. Think about that. good luck.
2006-10-04 17:47:19 · answer #2 · answered by Mel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is there something wrong with you? Well, only from a moral stand point. But we won't get into that.
Okay, Mr. Overseas is stable, family oriented. The other man is fun and more of what you are looking for. You feel obligated to be with Mr. Overseas but you want to me with Other Guy. You need to choose between Mr. Overseas and Mr. Fun. If you don't, you're going to try to have both and it will get real ugly.
But while you're thinking about it, consider this... will Mr. Fun be what you want 5 years from now, or is Mr. Overseas going to be the guy from you. The tough part about love is looking into the future. Good luck with that. Lord knows I've screwed it up. -best wishes.
2006-10-04 17:30:23 · answer #3 · answered by Odindmar 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Melissa...
The other guy is like an investment that went sour. I don't think he was truly interested in you. He only wanted you for sex. He got what he wanted and now he's moved on to the next woman.
No marriage, No kids.... NO future...
The military guy seems more of a stable guy in my opinion. Of course I don't know all that is going on, just what you have written.
Are you wanting to be serious with someone again? Are you just wanting to have fun? If you want a relationship with another man with a future, Mr. Overseas seems like a good place to start.
If you want to have fun, go back to the places where the men aren't serious. Grab a cold one and wait for the best pick up line.
2006-10-04 17:34:18 · answer #4 · answered by James B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just give a break with the man and give a chance for Mr. Overseas...after that just follow your heart
2006-10-04 17:35:07 · answer #5 · answered by funky-ira 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cos' the other guy rocks ur world plus he isn't asking ffor a commitment which ur heart is not ready 4, even though ur head is telling u it's the right thing. Give urself a lil' more time to clear ur heart & head. There's nothing wrong with u, just let urself flow...Seriously i think both choices aren't good.
2006-10-04 17:30:59 · answer #6 · answered by Lee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give both affairs a break! its like u want it and one doesnt and u dont want it and the other doesnt.
U have to do it for YRSLF. Surely u must have learned fr yr past experiences. Generally we all humans fall for similar type of people. take refuge in what u have learned. but on the face of it, i thk leave them both if u want to get married again. or carry on wi the guy u r having most fun with.
2006-10-04 17:30:10 · answer #7 · answered by now is the time 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are still thinking of this other man because you like a challenge and mr overseas just isn't a challenge for you. he will do anything for you and therefore takes away your fun.
2006-10-04 17:24:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Were you and the deployed man ever in a relationship?
The man is a good man but you obviously don't have the chemistry. Either you stop thinking about this other guy or re-asses your values.
2006-10-04 17:26:28 · answer #9 · answered by vivmaiko 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
apparently, you like the challenge of this other guy, but the overseas man, hes an easy catch, and apparently, a good one too... but he may be a pushover and you dont like it-- that hes a pushover
2006-10-04 17:24:21 · answer #10 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋