If you have a nephew and?

Question

he is 5 years old, behaves very badly in your home when visting, do you have the right to spank him if the parents sit back and do not disicipline him

Answer 1

God, I hate it when parents don't discipline their children. I'd tell them to go away and only come back when they've learned how make their child behave. My sister was quite happy to let me and my partner be tough on her kids if they misbehaved in my house, there was never any need to spank because there were other punishments, like consequences of behaviour - spend the evening in the bedroom alone for behaving badly, no food later if they didn't eat with everyone else, no watching the film they wanted. The kids and the parents accept it because it's fair, and because me and the parents have agreed that certain behaviour need not be tolerated.

Answer 2

I'd have to say no, its a personal decision as a parent whether you spank or not, no one else has the right to spank a child that is not their own unless both parents have given permission. The issue isn't with the child, he's a child and you said it yourself his parents do not discipline him...so who's to blame, the parents!! You should have a heart to heart talk with them and tell them while in your home they have to control their child. If you don't have children of your own tread carefully alot of parents would take great offense to someone without kids to critise or give advice. But since its a problem in your home you have a right to say something.
I did say that I don't believe you have the right to spank him, but disipline is different, if he's doing something bad and his parents aren't paying attention (doing anything about it) then perhaps a time out if anything, place him gently on a chair or distract him from he is doing wrong with something positive like "hey, here's a cool toy", "do you want to color", these sometimes work on my neices and nephews, well it at least distracts them for a bid and keeps them busy.

All in all have a chat with the parents, good luck!

Answer 3

No. You can tell him off, put him in time out, say that's not the way we behave in this house etc, but only a parent can smack a child. Even they don't really have the 'right' to, who does have the 'right' to use violence against another person? But that's another debate entirely. Perhaps you could get your parents to have a quiet word with your sibling about how they discipline their son. Also remember kids will be kids, try to child proof your home before they come round, make sure there's nothing around that he can break or spoil. Try getting in some toys, games or colouring activities that he only gets to do at your house. It's far more effective to encourage kids to be good than punish them for being bad.

Answer 4

Most likely not. Most parents do not like to be told that their child is a brat. No matter how true it is. However that doesn't mean you can't discipline the child. You are well within your right as long as it's your stuff and your house. However some ground rules need to be established first. For example: Johnny if you touch my stereo one more time, I will ask you to sit over here for 5 min. That way when he touches it you have laid out a clear plan of action.

But that also means that you have to stick with that plan of action. You can't say that's ok you didn't really mean it. Because he did. He's testing you. He's also testing his parents to see if the rules change at your house.

So stick to your guns. But don't spank, unless it's your child.

Answer 5

I wouldn't. When it comes right down to it the reason the child is acting up is because of the parents. If they would watch what he is doing and take measures to deal with it, he would be better behaved. Spanking him doesn't take care of the parents who are sitting there letting him get by with acting badly. I would tell them that they are creating a monster by not disciplining their child. I would also tell them that if they don't they are going to spend alot of time in the Principal's office when he gets into school.

Answer 6

You know without asking that you do not have the right to spank him.

Though his parents could do with a spanking; how is a child supposed to learn what is acceptable behaviour if nobody teaches him?

I would tell him calmly that his behaviour is unacceptable and if he continues to be naughty he won't be allowed to visit any more. If his behaviour continues ask his parents to take him home and tell your nephew he can come back when he's prepared to be a good boy.

Answer 7

Before you spank him talk to his parents. They should be the ones disciplining. Tell them that his behavior is unacceptable and that you would like it to stop while he is in your home. Then sit your nephew down and set boundaries for behavior in your home. If it still continues and his parents do nothing try alternatives to spanking but I think you absolutely have a right to stop his bad behavior. My nephew knows that when he comes over there are certain expectations and that if he has bad behavior there are consequences. Make sure that behavioral expectations are age appropriate.

Answer 8

Children are a reflection of their parents. They look to their parents for guidance. In effect 'monkey see monkey do'.

Children usually mis-behave because they are not getting enough attention. To a child it does not matter if this attention is 'GOOD' or 'BAD" as long as they are getting attention it does not matter. Children need love, this is something they do need.

When i child is displaying bad behaviour its because they are being ignored, or this is the only way they get attention be it negative or not.

As much as you see this child as being a little monster, why not change your view on him and instead of wanting to spank him, Why not get some toys or crayons or something to keep him amused. Go out to pound land.. buy some cheap stuff. put in a box, and the next time he comes over.. say 'i've got something for you i thought you might like to come help me do some of this' Take some time out with him, so he knows u care!

Looking to him as the problem is not the answer. You should be looking at ur sister, and if she does not know better than its up to you to show her the way!

Hope you get things worked out

Answer 9

Hes acting badly because he knows he can get away with it! If his parents are there while hes doing the bad behaivior tell his parents.... Your son is doing this, i dont want him to think he can act this way in my house will you please go talk to him.... tell them you dont want to be the one to talk to him about how to act in your house because its more their place then yours. But dont hide your feelings that you cant stand it when you behaves this way. Dont let them think you think they are bad parents... more then likely they are frustrated also they just dont make a billboard of it... Now if this child was at my house and the parents were not there... well thats a differnt situation your the adult and then you have every right to lay the law down DO NOT SPANK HIM! That will ONLY cause problems with your family!! You can be stern with him if he thinks he doesnt have to listen, sit him in time outs and things like that...

Answer 10

I wouldn't spank my nephew but I would discipline him. I would first tell my sister to tell him to stop doing what ever he is doing. If she just laughed it off I would then tell him myself, make him sit down and tell him he can't play until he behaves. At 5 they understand more then they let on. So just be assertive with them but don't threaten them. If she is not there and I am baby sitting then I will do what any mother would do. I have told all my family if my son misbehaves they have the right to punish him.