If you are naturally born too emotionally sensitive, what can you do about it??

Question

Like if you get bothered by many things in life that most people don't care about. Like for example, if someone treats you unfairly, or treats someone else unfairly. You notice it more than most people would, AND knowing that fact bothers you more than it would anyone else. You think about that problem throughout the day, trying to understand it, trying to discover if you were the problem, or is it truly the other person. & you don't stop until you firgure it out so you can be the best person you can be.

Or if someone gets treated better than you at school or a job, and you know thats not fair, it bothers you way more than it would bother most people. Most people just shrug it off and not care. Some won't even notice it's happening.

Or when you go to the DMV and the person behind the desk is extrememly rude to you for no reason and you've been nice the whole time. You get bothered by that to the max, but most people just shrug it off and not care.

How do you fix this problem?

To those who think I wasn't born this way, then how come I've been this way since kindergarden, and my parents nor anyon else has taught this behavior to me?

Answer 1

Lol. There are tons of people like this out there, but some of us (not MOST of us) manage to turn this around in a good way, so don't think it's actually not as difficult as you think.

Really, just get active in a bunch of different facets and interests. Most people are good at finding answers when all their attention is focused on a given task, some people are good at multitasking, and other people are great at finding applicable answer with random regards to detail.

The reason you're so sensitive in these kinds of situations is because you have a ton of attention and energy. Just put it to some good use even if it's just for the sense of accomplishment in spite of how you don't better yourself or anyone else in particular. The attention and energy I'm referring to hear is a component of your personality instead of a consumable resource, so the work which drives other people crazy is going to make you feel in your niche and the plans which seem completely chaotic to others will make entire sense to you.

Another thing is DON'T COMPROMISE. Now I'm not saying go off the deep end when you're at the DMV or in a fastfood place or a deli or the like. Just think. Yes, you can dwell over how annoying and rude it is, but you can also think of how to change what's going on. Figure out a civil approach that solves the problem even if it means determining the word choice and tone, posture, facial expression, floor positioning and hand usage for every word you're going to say. You might end up thinking for so long that the situation passes by, but that's good for 2 reasons: first, you didn't explode on whoever you're upset with and second, you planned ahead for next time.

When next time comes around, you might forget everything you've done and thought of, but get in the habit of thinking proactively and eventually you'll start doing proactively. Just be confident, breathe, and remember it's not a contest. Sure there's pressure from everyone around you, but ultimately the only person you need to justify what you're doing is to yourself.

Everyone might think you're a little arrogant at first, but once things start rolling and you're successful, they'll get it and back you up. Also, once you see yourself being successful in cases like this, you'll believe in yourself more and will be able confront more prestigious individuals and more selective opportunities.

Answer 2

Sounds like you had a bad day. Get some sleep and you will feel better tomorrow.
You are dwelling on things. Try to find other interests to distract you from too much self-pity. I think we all notice the unfairness of it all and the rudeness that some times erupts, for apparently no reason.
But a truly sensitive person would not think of it only in terms of themselves. Perhaps the DMV person had just dealt with some borish person who had been rude to them. Maybe there was a death in their family or a boyfriend had called to say he had found someone new. Maybe you came across as a bit too nice ... doesn't matter. As long as you stay responsible for trying to be nice, fair, and just; shrugging off others faults should not be too difficult. We cannot all be perfect all the time, and forgiveness is the best policy.
No one has it out for you alone. So if you cannot shrug things of, at least try to involve yourself in some other project. Don't sit and mull over lifes inequities too much.
Tomorrow will be a better day. Get a good breakfast and make a goal that you can achieve and then move to the next thing .... And enjoy the day! Enjoy the moment with your friends and pets. Enjoy a good book or movie. Life is just to short to worry about the small stuff when I bet you have plenty of better things that need your attention. Enjoy the good things, forget the other stuff unless you can change them for the better. You will be surprised how far a positive attitude and persistence will take you. But you have to allow yourself to enjoy the trip, not perfect it.

Answer 3

I totally understand and this is a real problem. I have almost fainted before from talking to people I know well just from social anxiety. I would never go to a ballgame or social event without my husband to help me thru it. The anti-depressant Paxil helped me. It sort of gets you in a "so what" state of mind and those sensitive issues don't bother you nearly as much. My mother--same thing--same medicine. Only side effect for me is that I cannot cry, so it does turn your emotions way down.
It's not because you had a bad day and you can't snap out of it as people say.

Answer 4

Just be yourself! It's what makes us all unique. If you are like that, it's your way....it's not more wrong then any of those who don't care at all about someone's emotions. Only thing is that you have to take care of your nerves for the future! Try to reduce stress for that sake! See what calms you down, what relaxes you....and do it more! Find somebody (a friend) who's smiliar to you and have a vent by talking to that person and sharing what you both think it's right! You're just a detailst ;) And there is nothing bad in that :)

Answer 5

Ouch, you had a bad day. ..Week...or, maybe..you had a very intuitive day. You are harder on yourself than anyone else. This remains true no matter what. Call it self preservation. It's not me, it's them. Or, maybe, sweetie, just relax, remove yourself, if you can, have a good healthy drink of water and reexamine why it's "all the world" against you, it usually in't. Unless you are Al-Samma or that- H A Ha

Answer 6

I'm like that too, except my issue is, when most people tell the person that made them mad, that they made the person mad, I don't. Then, I go and get really angry about it in a few hours, and no one knows why I'm being so cranky. Maybe try telling them that they're bothering you?

Answer 7

Make a conscious effort to motivate yourself as to " What is important NOW ". The rest is just baggage weighing you down . When "overload" creeps in...tell yourself you are just going to put in on the back burner for now...then leave it there & forget about it . You might try listening to Eckhart Tolle's "The Power of Now" book or CD box-set .

Answer 8

Humanity is scum and will take advantage of nice people.

It is good that you are sensitive about these things because it means you are a nice person but you need to get hard or people will always be ***** to you.

Just get angry at them and ask them why they are being such assholes. Stand up for yourself and don't take any ****.

Also you could go into town, get on the piss and then start a fight with some loser... that will harden you up and take some of your frustration out. Lol

Answer 9

you were not born with this. You have learned to behave like this, and what you need to realize is :
it's not about you.
people do not do things BECAUSE of you. They do not "treat" you.

People project what is inside them. They don't say things because your there. YOU choose to respond by thinking they are out to insult you.
Let me repeat, because this is a hard, blunt lesson: It's not about you.
You have the power to control you, and no one else. If you WANT to feel self-pity, that's your decision.

It's not about you.

Answer 10

The fact that you are aware of the problem is half your solution, i.e your problem and what provoques your sensitivity; just learn to conciously, actively, and progressively to let go a little bit; life is too short.