First off, I love my wife very much. She is a latino with a gorgeous face, beautiful skin, and nice legs. When we met she was kind of thick in the mid-section. She has had three children from a previous marriage. I understand this completely. Well, she lost about 25 lbs after we met...partly because I am just physically active and always doing things and she was now doing them with me. Well, we have been married for a year and she has packed on about 15lbs. I am in the military and I lift weights, run, and exercise regularly. She WANTS to lose weight but she doesnt want to work for it and she WONT. If we go jogging, she will do one lap and quit, refusing to continue....that is all she is WILLING to do. She wants a miracle pill, a tummy tuck, and she WONT diet. It might last for a day or two. I am concerned about her health. We are approaching our 30's and it has gotten harder for me to keep weight off, so I know it is hard for her. She refuses to listen. Any suggestions?
2006-10-04 16:50:42 · 45 answers · asked by rebel1971 1 in Health ➔ Diet & Fitness
Also, my wife does not look obese, but it is obvious that she is overweight. She is 5 feet tall and 175lbs. All of her weight seems to be in her tummy and sides. She says she is tired of being heavy but she simply WILL NOT work to get results.
2006-10-04 16:54:00 · update #1
Well, that is the thing, I am not overweight at all. I workout 4-5 days a week and do bodybuilding. By keeping the weight off I meant that I have to run farther and harder to maintain my weight. I have tried healthy foods but when I tell her mayo, cheese, grease, fast food is out of the question, she HATES it and says "I aint doing that".
2006-10-04 17:01:39 · update #2
you sound like a good guy. so i guess you know that unless she wants to take the weight off herself nothing you can do will help.
gee, maybe sign the two of you up for weight watchers or something like that. i don't think she'd have the motivation to go by herself---maybe if the two of you did it together.......
sorry i'm not more help. just don't give up on her.
2006-10-04 16:56:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I dare say she is not oblivious to the fact that she has put on wieght (us females just aren't like that!), but I am hearing where you are coming from.
Do you guys have access to a swimming pool? Swimming is a terrific work out and a great way to tone up. Another thing you could do is join a bush walking or hiking club and go on weekend treks together (think of it as exercise in disguise - just don't mention the "e" word).
Buy her a dog! A bloody big dog at that - one that will need to be taken on long walks.
Take an interest in cooking and change your whole eating style - you could even suggets she goes to some cooking classes that focus on healthy cuisine (tread carefully here - she may think you are criticising her kicthn abilities).
Good luck with this one - you are a brave man!
2006-10-04 17:02:25 · answer #2 · answered by LadyRebecca 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't think telling her she needs to lose weight would work so definitely DON'T do that. You sound like a nice guy that is concerned about his wife. If I were you I would maybe start doing subtle things like maybe you take over cooking dinner for a while and gradually replace the bad foods with foods that are good for everyone. Maybe she doesn't like running. Why don't you guys go out dancing or roller blading or something fun that isn't like it is exercise. If you want to continue running let her run her one lap for a while then every week try to get her to add to it by maybe giving her some sort of incentive. I don't know about you but if my husband bribed me with shopping I would do whatever he wanted....heehee...just suggestions.
2006-10-04 16:58:27 · answer #3 · answered by ephi 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I started out in July, 2006 weighing 248 pounds. I am 5'9" tall. I should be in my 170's. I started a weight loss system called Stack Body Tune Up and have lost 32.5 pounds since.
There is a psychology behind losing weight and I can share that with you. It is too much for a discussion board.
If I can be of further assistance, let me know.
pktull@yahoo.com
http://www.geocities.com/pktull
2006-10-05 00:37:44 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her how gorgeous she is and how much you love her. Over and over again. Find an activity she enjoys like volleyball or softball something that is fun. I understand you are very active but what do you eat? If you are eating most everything you want and she follows suit she will gain weight. Watch what she sees you eat. Tell her you love her and want to support her in her battle to lose. It is not just willpower or mind over matter all the time. To lose weight is a very complex set of rules, motivation and emotional stability. If she thinks she is losing you because her weight she will gain more weight. Love her and let her know no matter what you will always love her.
2006-10-04 17:06:59 · answer #5 · answered by Ren 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Weight is a hugely emotional issue for many women. One the one hand, you say you're just concerned about her, but on the other, you're completely focusing on her appearance (gorgeous face, skin, legs, thick mid-section, packed on pounds). This is based on a paragraph, so I may be entirely off base, but an overweight woman does not need to hear the person she loves criticizing her body - her very SELF. If you're not her best friend, then food will be.
Stop pushing her. Forget jogging, try walking. (Jogging at 175 pounds and only five feet tall is a lot harder for her than it is for you.) Do things together that happen to be active, but don't make exercise the point. Have fun - build the relationship. "Diet" should never be used as a verb, only a noun. Dieting implies an eating plan geared solely toward losing weight, and it seldom works - it only comes back. Your goal should be a healthy diet, not a weight loss diet. You have to change your eating habits permanently. Do you both like to cook? Check out a local community college for healthy cooking classes, and take them together.
Compliment her. And trust me, "Wow, you look like you've lost weight" is not a compliment. "You're beautiful", "Check out those legs!" or "I love your skin" will make her feel good about herself. It's much easier to stick to a healthy diet when you feel good about yourself.
In a thin person's world, "overweight people just need to decide to lose weight." Unfortunately, for those people who truly need to lose weight, it isn't that simple. If you've never been seriously overweight, you have no way of knowing what it's like. It isn't simply a matter of logic - it's emotion, and support, and self-love, and falling off the wagon, and forgiving yourself and getting back on. Food can be a substitute for all the things we want in life and can't have, and weight can be a shield against everything that we don't think we're capable of.
2006-10-04 17:24:10 · answer #6 · answered by swbiblio 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I was married to a man that was emotionally and eventually physically abusive. When we got married I weighed 125lb. and I'm 5'3. I was eighteen and he was twenty four. He continually put me down calling me hurtful names and that gave me a terrible complex about my own body. And if he thought I had put too much food on my plate he would let me know and didn't care who heard him. I wised up and got out eventually.
Now I'm married to a wonderful man. And like your wife I'm not obese but overweight. Oddly enough when we were married I weighed around 125lb. I want to lose the weight but it's easier said than done. The important thing is that no matter what size I am my husband loves me. The only suggestion I can give you is, always let her know you love her.
Keep this thought in mind, would you rather have her a few sizes bigger than you prefer or not have her at all?
2006-10-04 18:01:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You CANNOT get your wife to lose weight. It can only happen when SHE is ready, willing and able to do it. Not before. This is not something that you can do for her. If you truly love her as you say, you will lay off, and don't mention it, even if she does. She needs your acceptance most of all.
Try referring her to this site. Once I found it I started dieting the right way and exercising daily. I love it. I've lost 22lbs in 6 weeks.
http://www.sparkpeople.com
2006-10-04 17:42:36 · answer #8 · answered by LindaLou 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
diet along with her, it doesn't hurt..
www.mypyramid.gov is the diet you all should be on... it's long term, healthy and you'll all feel much better.
and the both of you partaking in it will help motivate her.
and exercise together...
you don't have to give up jack sheeet and eating more fresh produce and cutting back on the garbage... sure makes a big difference.
and you won't starve to death.
oh and drink that water.
:D
please learn together why there is no miracle... those pills, programs and prepackaged dinners are crap. most cases you'll gain weight and be worse off.
2006-10-04 16:54:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you my husband?
I was having the same problems as your wife.
But I must advise you right now - the more my husband nagged and pushed - the more weight I gained. Not out of spite - but from the stress of disappointed him. We women are nutty when it comes to losing weight. I'm also 5 ft tall and weighed 153 lbs. My husband paid around $800 to have me join LA weight loss. He said it was because he was worried that I might die of heart disease. (smart man!!) He claimed that it was my health he was worried about and not my appearance. Now I'm 125 and have brought my cholesterol down. (he loves the way I look now)
Some men need the answers to women's tests (mine has them memorized after 15 years)
Do this for her ... not for you. (or at least let her think it)
2006-10-04 17:05:11 · answer #10 · answered by A&P student 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋