My ex broke up with me months and months ago and I cannot get over the horrible depression of rejection. It was the first breakup I ever had to deal with. I don't miss him as rationally I know how horrible he was to me and how he is cheap (especially sexually) and has bizarre commitment issues. I wasn't perfect -- but I was always good to him (and loyal). I think I am just SO deeply hurt by the way he rejected me. I wish I just didn't care anymore but I'm afraid I will always be sad and NEVER trust another guy again. I don't know how people keep doing this 'relationship' stuff.
2006-10-04 16:16:37 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You are giving this loser far too much power over your happiness. He dumped you, boo hoo for about 2 days and pick yourself up, dust yourself off and move on. You are not his opinion of you. Get over it or you'll latch on to the first new loser who looks at you twice and you don't need that. Develop confidence in your own talents and abilities. A man isn't your sole existance. A man/relationship is a nice compliment to an already full and rich life, not a crutch for an empty one.
2006-10-04 16:20:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
breaking up is really hard and depending on how long you were together makes a difference in how long it takes to get over things. It took me about a year after my divorce before i would even go out on a date again. But time heals all wounds. Try to concentrate on things that you like to do. I like to write so i would write stories as a sort of therapy. It helped to get the feelings out and plus things could turn out however i wanted in my stories. Whatever you like just get to know yourself and who you are. Eventually you will be willing to take a chance with someone else and don't pass up opportunities just because you are scared. Any relationship we start we are taking a chance even a friendship is taking a chance. that's what life is about.
2006-10-04 23:35:28 · answer #2 · answered by snail 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetheart, the only anidote for you is "time". Most of us has had our heart broken by someone that we really loved, and all you can do is try your best to make it though the day, and know that every day it will get better. I know what you're going through, and I feel sad for you. I've had my heart broken 2 times in my life, and both times it took me at least 2 years to return to normal. I hate to say it, but love is great, but it also sucks. Good luck and if I can help, contact mike_in_tex on yahoo messenger.
2006-10-04 23:22:24 · answer #3 · answered by mike_in_tex 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first time you get hurt is always devastating. The first time I was really hurt I felt it in every part of my body. I couldn't even focus on what I was doing. One time I was in my car at a railroad crossing that didn't have a rail guard and my car was partially on the tracks. Thank God I came out of my reverie long enough to realize there was a train blowing its horn in a constant long stream and I had ust enough time to back the car up.
That experience is what jolted me into realizing that I had to do something different! I had to find a way to get past being so hurt and move on. and I had to use all of my will to do that. I talked to my best friends about it; I wrote about it; I kept myself busy; I pampered myself by getting massages; I joined a gym; I took some classes. I did everything I could to give myself a different focus and that focus was on ME. Eventually I realized when I stopped focusing on the person who hurt me and made myself focus on taking care of ME, I got better and better. One day I heard this old Jeffery Osborne song on an old school radio station entitled, "I really don't need no light." Here are the lyrics. I hope they help you.
I REALLY DON'T NEED NO LIGHT
Jeffrey Osborne
There goes another night time
There goes another dream
When will it be the right itme
It's later than it seems
I used to wait for you
All that has changed so soon
How much can someone love
A someone like you
I really don't need no light to see through you
I really don't need your love to see me through
I really don't need your heart to set me free
I really don't need the way it used to be
And who was that lone arranger
How did he get to you
Who were those other strangers
What did they make you do
Where was their party from
You with that number one
How could you feel so high
Just living a lie
(Repeat Chorus)
I really don't need no light to see through you
I really don't need your love to see me through
I really don't need your heart to set me free
I really don't need the way it used to be
Oh I really don't need, I really don't need no light
I really don't need no light to see through you
2006-10-04 23:28:24 · answer #4 · answered by nquizzitiv 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The first one will always be the most painful. As you get older, your skin will get a lot thicker. That being said, you also don't have to stop trusting people altogether. Enjoy your freedom for now and stay open to new experiences.
2006-10-04 23:21:38 · answer #5 · answered by Rckets 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Rebuilding When Your Relationship Ends, by B. Fisher
2006-10-04 23:18:41 · answer #6 · answered by Legandivori 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if u sit and think about him u will always feel depressed and lonely , u need to go out and start fresh with someone else and for get about him. He might be enjoying him self at the moment and u r sitting around been depressed and lonely.
2006-10-04 23:22:51 · answer #7 · answered by nick 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hang in there....I know that's easily said then done. That feeling of rejection felt deep inside does eventually subside enough to make it at least bearable. It does take time though. Your heart is still mending.
2006-10-04 23:35:55 · answer #8 · answered by xxx 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guys are jerks! Learn that early!
Remember to thank God for unanswered prayers!
Oh! And the answers to many prayers is NO!
If God cussed, he'd probably say HELL NO to some of the stuff we ask him for!
Don't let a man bring you down.
Here is a poem I wrote in 1997 after Manny broke up with me
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When I asked him if he loved me
He used to say "Yes."
Then he said "Guess"
Now he says "Less".
What do you do
When the one who loves you
Won't confess?
For him, I built
Castles in the air.
But my broken dreams
Won't repair.
Am I blessed
Or is my life a mess?
How do I find the motivation
To pull myself out of a bed
He's no longer in
And dress myself for myself.
And force my day to begin?
Am I allowing this man
To hold me back?---
But not back so far
To the point I was before,
Before he stormed into my life
Proclaming his love for me.
But now I know "Less" and " Guess"
Aren't his best.
And he didn't love me
As much as I do
Or as much as he loved himself.
Yes, I'm blessed,
WITHOUT HIM!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I hope my poem helps you!
2006-10-04 23:33:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have been through the same problem.The cure is to be more careful before you choose your next love.this wound would heal with time.surrond yourself with good friends and busy yourself with the important tasks in your life.Pray for prayer brings comfort.Dont let yourself be depressed.If that happens seek help.The person who treats you so is not worth your grief forget him and move on.Easier said than done though.
2006-10-04 23:26:13 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋