I've been with my man for almost 3 years. I have always known that he is a pot head and I have always hated it BUT I have tried to be understanding because I have my faults as well. Anyway he has no license and owes about $600.00 before he will get it back. 8 months ago we made an agrement that he would not buy any pot until after he paid off his license We both agreed that he could smoke if people offered BUT he would NOT buy it until he paid for his lisence. Up until now I thought he was following through with this agrement but last weekend his roommate told me that he has been chipping in with a friend to buy it every week! I called him out on it but he denies it. I don't know what to do. I am 100% sure the roomate is telling me the truth and my boyfriend has lied to me before so its hard to trust him. My friends all keep saying that he's only lieing because he doesn't want to lose me. Does that make it okay? Should I forgive him? Should I leave him? Help...I really don't know
2006-10-04 16:13:10 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Sorry about the spelling...I did the best I could.
2006-10-04 16:14:22 · update #1
"Follow your heart..." Is terrible advice. Follow your "head". Think about it. And while you're thinking, consider this... According to statistics you'll never leave him. Also, you'll end up married to him or someone just like him, that takes advantage of you, lies to you, and cheats on you... Sound like fun? Then dump him. He's not going to change. Can you? By the way, your statement "I have my faults as well..." Is what counselors call 'justification'. You're only comparing faults to justify being with him. Your faults are not the issue here.
2006-10-04 16:21:30 · answer #1 · answered by dominoking77 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Umm, I can't believe you're actually asking this question. Where's your conscience, girl? This guy doesn't have a license, owes probably more money than you think to lots of people you don't want to know, and on top of that, he's a pot head. Wow. You seem like a sensible young gal (besides the fact that you're dating a loser) and I'm quite confident that you can do much better. He doesn't deserve you and you deserve so much more. Treat yourself like the beautiful person I'm sure you are and find a more responsible and mature man that can really meet your needs. This guy you're with now can't see ehat he's got in front of him because of the cloud of pot smoke circling around his head. Take action and do what is best for your future because he will only drag you down to a place that, trust me on this, you do not want to go.
Best of luck to ya, babe.
~D.
2006-10-04 16:28:56 · answer #2 · answered by conservative_rocker1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have been trusting this guy for 3 years and giving him chance after chance. He's lying to you to keep using, and he'll keep lying as long as you keep forgiving him. Your inadvertently becoming an enabler, which I know you don't want.
Give him a choice, either he goes to rehab, or you're leaving him.
It's his turn to show you what's more important to him.
An illegal, mind numbing habit that's leading him to no-wheres-land.
Or, a productive life that includes a great supportive girl like you.
If he chooses the pot, you've got to leave. You will end up wasting years of your life watching him go nowhere. An addict, and that's what he is, usually has to lose everything else before they realize their addiction. Then they may finally change.
You need to be strong, for the good of both of you. Good Luck.
2006-10-04 16:55:42 · answer #3 · answered by charley128 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust is one of the most important things in a relationship. Do you think you can ever trust him again after what he did? If the answer is yes then you should sit down and have a very serious talk with him. Make sure he knows how he hurt you and that if it happens again you might not be able to ever trust him again. If you are serious about him I recommend the following book "Fighting for your marriage". I know you aren't married but there is a technique in the book for talking about difficult issues called the speaker-listener technique that could be really helpful. Good luck.
2006-10-04 16:18:50 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure you are a sweet and good girl. Don't give yourself a bad name by having relationship with a pot head.
Being in relationship like this just make you depressed. I used to have a boyfriend like yours back in my highschool years. He was always lying about his habits. And as time gone by, I had enough of him, and I dumped him. I thought he just wasted my precious times.
Believe me sis, having relationship with this bad guy is totally wasting your time. Try to find someone else worth for you and is sober. Good Luck..
2006-10-04 17:00:28 · answer #5 · answered by yanti b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what do you want to worry about if you stay with this guy? Really... I mean what strikes your hate bone more the fact that he doesn't have a license or the fact that he lied to you and what else has he lied about? Your choice but really read between the lines. I hate being lied to.
2006-10-04 16:21:51 · answer #6 · answered by llltazslleyeslloflltrullblulll 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
DUMP HIM!!!!!!If he really didn't want to lose you over this he'd tell you the truth or give up the mother f***ing pot.
Sorry,I got carried away.Seriously, if you need anyone 2 talk 2 I'm here.My email is rswritingdesk@yahoo.com
2006-10-04 16:34:10 · answer #7 · answered by nikki n 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
leave him now .if he is lieing to you already he will again ,and again .i know Im married to a man that smoked pot and then went to cocaine and girl its not a fun life to live after you marry them ,he dont need to depend on pot as his way of life is this the kind of man you want ??.yes his friend would tell you that because they dont want to loose there pot paying buddy .you would think he would do what was important with his money .open your eyes hon .life is way to short to waste it pot just leads to bigger problems .best to you .but no he lied and i would dump him now .
2006-10-04 16:22:03 · answer #8 · answered by Holly 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You wrote a lot more information than needed. You should cut your losses and LEAVE immediately. This guy sounds like a total loser with no future whatsoever. Don't allow your emotions to force you to make stupid decisions that you will regret forever.
2006-10-04 16:17:46 · answer #9 · answered by Rckets 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's obvious he is an addict, how do you think he can do without taking dope till he is offered some, your 1st priority is convincing him to seek professional help, i don't think it is easy getting off drugs just by the snap of a finger, addicts lie a lot so don't be surprised he lied to you. encourage him to stop the habit and if he refuses, get yourself out of that relationship, sometimes being around drug takers spells trouble for people. good luck
2006-10-04 16:19:53 · answer #10 · answered by gal-next-dr 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋