i just recently met some one and have gone for coffee a couple of time and i have gone to her place for tea. what disturbs me is she pursued me at first, now she would like to be just friends. she is everything i want in aperson. she has goals and is in the same field as i am in work we can sit for hours and talk, but i am confused on what i should next. should i just be a friend? but i want a relationship.
2006-10-04 16:12:07 · 17 answers · asked by kispioxman2000 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
My suggestion is to take what you can get and appreciate it. one never knows what will develop. If you walk away because it isn't exactly what you want right now you loose the chance of it ever becoming. Take it easy, no need to rush. Enjoy each others company, long talks, and tea. Don't fret about what it isn't. That's energy that could be devoted to what IS!
2006-10-04 16:18:10 · answer #1 · answered by Heathery Lane 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow, she pursed you first and now wants to only be friends? Ok first of all as a woman i know i wouldnt go to all that trouble of pursing someone only to be friends so here is my take on it
1) are u sure she was pursing you? 2) when u guys talk is she ever touching u? not in a sexual way either 3) did u say or do something to turn her off to being more than friends? 4) be willing to just be friends, show her ur a good friend maybe she wants to make sure u are bf material....finally ask her straight out but not all desperate. simply say "so i am just curious, what about me made u pursue me? what originally attracted u to me?" maybe u will find out what happened by her answer.
2006-10-04 23:25:06 · answer #2 · answered by iluvluceee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should chill. You may be trying to hurry her when she is getting to know you and make sure you are the real deal. So, be there but give her some space for a while. If you are good friends and she wants more later she will let you know. Just follow her lead and don't get pushy. That can turn a girl off really fast, especially if she is a goal oriented person. So, be there, go slow, be her friend and follow her lead. OK?
2006-10-04 23:17:54 · answer #3 · answered by MISS-MARY 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand your confusion. But this is one thing u must understanding. A woman wants a man. Not just a friend. If u want this woman i can tell u how to get her. Even if it seems complicated.
You have to play a 'b*stard'. Look like you don't care about her. Be kind and gentle but like you've got the lead in things. Women like the chase too. In both ways. You have to let her chase and look forward to you a little too. and when you chase you can't give in too much as well.
Its hard to advice you in a very large context. Mail me if you want to know more.
2006-10-04 23:26:08 · answer #4 · answered by Liz^24 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To plainly put it. "She's just not that into you".
If she wanted more... she wouldn't be holding out on you. Women just don't play the "friends card" with a guy they can see themselves really liking... it just doesn't happen.
She pursued you at first. She's cutting it off first.
Next time - do the pursuing yourself. You might have more luck.
2006-10-04 23:21:55 · answer #5 · answered by InnerBeauty28 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You waited to long. If she is choosing to be a friend now. That means you took too long for her to make whatever move she wanted you to make.
Have you thought about telling her how you felt and if you did tell her, and she still wants to be your friend only then you should respect that but
If you cant see yourself being just a friend to her. Then you should back off and tell her why you can't be her friend (maybe after telling her this she might just change her mind...;).
Good Luck.
2006-10-04 23:18:32 · answer #6 · answered by Curiosity killed the cat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yea sorry to say, it sounds like something you said or did that turned her off. And if you are pursuing a relationship, wouldn't you rather pursue it with someone who was interested in pursuing it with you?
2006-10-04 23:18:58 · answer #7 · answered by danzpointe 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well the fact that she pursued you is just her way to friends with you. at least she told you as early as now what she wants from you. Accept her friendship will not know what will happen next
2006-10-04 23:16:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
have you told her you have stronger feelings than just being a friend? Maybe she is reading your signals wrong. Have a talk with her, don't settle for just being a friend, tell her what you wrote here. Good luck!
2006-10-04 23:15:42 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
keep it up your doin fine, ask her for something a little more serious on the next outing, if she says no well at least you have a lady friend that you can probably exchange life's problems with, good luck
2006-10-04 23:15:33 · answer #10 · answered by 84_4X4 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋