What do you tell a 3yr old about private parts- do you call it a...?

Question

Our argument has been over calling the penis what it is or calling it a "wiggle worm". I was taught that you call it what it is but his mother taught him with a nickname. We have argued on this subject for over a week now and can not seem to find a middle ground-- I mean you call your ear your ear right-- Can you not teach your child that it is what it is and that when in the presence of others you just dont blut out this word-- that its not a "bad" word but not something that you shot out-- ???

Please help us try and settle this!!!
Thanks in advance!!!

Ok-- So what would be the "appropriate age" to learn the real terms for those of you who think we should not use the true names???

I informed my husband what i asked here on yahoo and he just looked at me- His problem apparently is that he doesnt want to hear a 3yr old say penis. I got a little tickled by this seeing as how we are both very open with each other about various things and always have been- he is the one who brought me out of my shy "shell" many years ago. I can see his point- I dont want our son to stand up in church or walmart and shout something about his penis but on the other hand pee-pee, private, ding dong, goober, or whatever else sounds the same to me- I would rather him know what it is.
Can someone tell me what the best way to help us explain that its "not appropriate" to discuss in public without saying that its wrong to say penis- this was brought up by my hubby earlier. He feels that telling our son it is wrong or not appropriate to talk about in public is worse than the nickname.

Answer 1

It is ridiculous to use a nickname. If a child is exploring his body, and they do at a very young age, then you tell him the proper name. Why would a child be too young to understand? I mean, you tell a child his finger is a finger. His nose is a nose. What is so wrong about telling him his penis is a penis? It isn't as if penis is a dirty word.

I have two boys and ever since they've first started exploring or asking I've told them it was a penis. Penis is the proper term and there is nothing dirty about it so that is what they have been taught. One day my 3 yr. old asked me, "Mommy where is your penis?" I responded, "Girls don't have a penis." I was going to leave it at that but then he asked, "What do girls have?" So, I was honest and said, "Girls have a vagina." He announced later to his dad, "girls have a bagina!"

I'm with you on this and I'd also like to know what one deems the appropriate age to teach a child proper terms? In my opinion, if they're old enough to ask the question then they're old enough to get the honest answer.

Edited to add: after reading through the other responses I'm amazed that so many people are embarrassed if their children use a correct term in public. Please explain how it is any less embarrassing to have a child shout out something about his pee-pee, his turtle or his wiggle worm than if he'd just used the correct term?

All parents are doing by instilling the need for a silly nickame is making the correct term seem taboo. Guess what? When that child is older and hears the correct term he or she will giggle and think it is funny because mom and dad has taught him/her that it is a taboo word that one does not use. The word penis is the actual scientific word. So, why is that embarrasing or inappropriate?

I have to say that the American society is so screwed up when it comes to our bodies and sex. We take everything that is normal and natural and we turn it into something dirty and taboo.

Answer 2

We just went through this! My daughter was 3 when my son was born 10 months ago! She asked and we told her what it was. We told her that a penis and a scrotum were just that and that a vagina is a vagina. You know what she did? She started calling them "girl parts and boy parts"! all on her own. She hasn't said a word about it in public, but that's not really her style anyway. I think you should tell them the truth and leave it alone. They only make a big deal out of it if you do. Wiggle worm???? Come ON!!

Answer 3

I totally agree with you! You call it what it is...penis, vagina, labia, ear, nose, toe, etc. this isn't the victorian age anymore!

We have always taught our little kids to use the appropriate names for their body parts and have had no problems with our decision. When they go to the doctor, the doctor refers to their body parts by the appropriate names.....so why shouldn't your kids?

Here's a great question for you to pose to your husband - and maybe it will end the arguement in your favor: when he goes to the doctor does he tell the doctor (for example) that he has a sore on his "wiggle worm"? No, of course not. He would say his penis because that is the appropriate name for it. And your boy should do the same.

Good luck to you!!!!

Answer 4

Kids need to be taught the proper biological names and use them. A penis is a penis, boys have testicles, girls have a vagina and a vulva. These are the terms which should be used - it's not so cutesy with all these made-up names for body parts. We're an educated, open society so people should not have hang-ups about this!

Answer 5

Boys that age...might as well call it a pee-pee. Why? Because it's a commonly used term among childcare providers and babysitters. Wiggle worm? Never heard that term before...and I really don't think that's appropriate. When he gets to be 5 or 6, you can teach him the biologically correct term if you like.

Answer 6

I agree with you. I taught my son that it is a penis. I think that calling it other things will confuse the child and could possibly be dangerous. I've heard about parents teaching their daughter the terms "pencil" and "purse". The little girl tried to tell her teacher about sexual abuse; she would say that her older brothers friend was putting his pencil in her purse and the teacher had no clue what the girl was actually telling her. The abuse continued on longer because of that.

Answer 7

I have 3 boys ages 22, 21 n 12..I called it a weenie, And I'm glad i did when my oldest son was 3 we was in wal mart and he had to go potty. So he starts yelling out in wal mart that his wienie was peein cause i told him to hold it. That was bad enough but if he would have yelled penis I think i would have fainted. And besides you dont have to wory about what is a good age, this day and age you can ask the kids what something is.

Answer 8

Tell him both, a nickname and the real name. Tell him the nickname is just for you, daddy and him to know. And if someone ever wanted to touch or you know.... that you can use the nickname so that nobody would know what you are talking about.
Hard to explain without sounding like a worry wort. I have sons and now that one is going to school I do worry. Lots of sick people out there.

Answer 9

would you call their arm anything but an arm..NO! So why do people change the name of a penis. From the day they could speak mine were taught to name it what it was. They have never embarrassed me in public but you can teach them that those are areas people don't want to be hearing about so if they want to say something(as in my penis is sore/itchy etc) then to come to you and say it quietly.

Answer 10

Okay, if you really want my opinion.After raising two boys and two girls To call their Private parts by their real names. I have learned with my fifth child a two year old boy, To save myself and others the "public" humiliation and ridicule. My baby boy now has a "turtle".LOL...LOL...I found that after starting school that as a place supposedly educating child with all education needed for life. For some unknown reason found the correct terms inappropriate.Ironic isn't it? So simple to "save face" now.My son has been blessed with a turtle.