I what the best for him. He's been working and going to school . He's trying to get money to take me and my family and him to stay at disney land for two nights. My paren'ts said that they will pay for it all. I hardly get to see him hardly anymore . I love him with all my heart . I dont want to leave him . I tryed to be a great girlfriend to him. I always take care of him and make him happy . We plan to get married after college and have three kids . We been going out for two years . I dont want to through it away. I dont know what I should do. Everytime he misses our date or something came up , he always buys me things to make it up. Flowers , candy , jealwry, stuff animals. One time he even bought me a kitten. I dont want gifts . All I want is to spend time with him. II want to tell him how I feel . But I'm scared if he'll break up with me. I wouldn't ever cheat on him . That what my friends would say to do. But I told them I loved him and that was wrong. What should I do ?
2006-10-04 15:21:35 · 10 answers · asked by kitty 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Please dont be rude. I'm really depreesed about this.Thanks for the advice.
2006-10-04 15:22:21 · update #1
I just need alot of advice.
2006-10-04 15:22:58 · update #2
I'm haveing trouble eating and sleeping over this.
2006-10-04 15:24:23 · update #3
I know he's not cheating . I told him striaght out . If he was cheating or ever will . He would just break up with me.
2006-10-04 15:31:08 · update #4
Is it wrong of me to hate the gifts and when he gets me them.
2006-10-04 15:58:04 · update #5
Eveytime I see him and see the gifts . I just feel hurt , anger , and I just feel like I just what to burst out crying.Sometimes slam the door in his face . But I never do.
2006-10-04 16:00:52 · update #6
Sometimes I wont answear his calls cause I'm so hurt . Is it wrong of me to do that.
2006-10-04 16:05:15 · update #7
Here is what I would suggest if the situation were mine to handle.
If Mohammed won't come to the mountain, then the Mountain should go to Mohammed.
First, I don't think he knows how to express his love correctly. You obviously are not interested in material possessions that much. Am I right?
You'll need to do TWO things. One is meet him sometime for coffee after work, before class. You go to HIM. YOU meet him somewhere. When you meet him in person. WATCH his body language. They'll show up.
When you start mentioning that you really missed him, wanted to see him, was thinking about him, and how you appreciate all the hard work that he is doing to build your(the two of you) future.
Guilt will eat him alive and will manifest itself by his suffling in his seat, nervousness, attempting to change the subject abruptly.
DO NOT FORCE THE ISSUE. Relax, remain calm and focused.
"Honey, work has gotten you so stressed out you can't seem to sit still. Let's just sit here and enjoy our coffee... I'll be quiet and let you just relax for a few minutes."
If he's smiling and enjoying himself, then you know everything is great. He's jazzed seeing you.
He could be somewhere in the middle because he might think you are calling it quits on him. So reassurance would help. If he sees you're not breaking it off, he should become more relaxed.
Now then, get to know his work schedule/class schedule. Find a time when he could take lunch with you. PLAN a picnic, without telling him WHAT you're doing. Just say, "Oh, I see Friday you have 30 minutes for lunch. I'll swing by and have lunch with you."
You meet him in his parking lot with his favorite "quick" meal. Even if it is a Subway sandwich, chips, and a cola (cold if it is a hot day... hot if it is a cold day)... If he likes tuna fish, then make him a tuna fish sandwich.
Just be there about 5 minutes ahead of time. He walks out expecting to take you somewhere rushed. BANG, you think of everything... If he likes Doritos, Pepsi, and Strawberry Ice Cream. YOU have it ready, prepared in advance.
You put forth the little efforts and he'll NEVER forget them. Don't get wrapped up in SMALL things like this in this time of life.
It is NOT uncommon for work and schooling to take up such a large percentage of his time. You show him how much you love and care for him. The appreciation and support will do wonders.
IF he can't do lunch, drop him a note in the mail. Put it on his car windshield, put it on his door. Fill it with, "I'm thinking of you and all the hard work you're doing for our future!!! I love you and appreciate all that you're doing!!! I feel like the luckiest girl in the world to have a man so dedicated to our future..."
Give him so much positive reinforcement that he'll consider himself the luckiest guy in the world. You keep him upbeat and there'll be nothing he won't do for you. When he gets his chance to show you. Get ready. He's going to be like a man obsessed.
You've just made any other women that try to divert him, immaterial. He wouldn't care if they were made from solid gold. Cause who he has waiting patiently for him is worth more gold than even Fort Knox could hold.
Now then, how much are you willing to invest in this relationship? Sow a lot, reap a lot... Sow a little, reap a little.
I've given you some ideas, time to put your touches on it, modify to your liking and style. Then get with the program.
2006-10-04 17:23:23 · answer #1 · answered by James B 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell him how you feel and that you want to spend some more quality time with him... Sure the gifts are nice but it's a temporary hapiness.. very temporary. True enough that we all get busy at times, but if he cares he will take some time out for you. It seems that there's more take than give. But there's no sense in you to keep feeling down in the dumps about it. Tell him how you feel. You have to because if you don't, then it will be pent up anger and resentment. And don't cheat on him, be a woman and break up if worse comes to worse. You need to weigh out your good and bad, and if the bad weighs more, than do what you gotta do. And just to keep your guard up, if he is staying out all the time, and not spending no time, something is up other than work and school. But I'm not saying go play stake out or anything like that. But you have to talk to him and let him know that you feel left out and you want some of his time. If he's a good man and he's worth fighting for, than go for it. But if you're unsure about it, than let it burn.... Everyone has a right to let each other know how they feel and what they want out of a relationship. And if he acts up, remember, you gotta love yourself before you love anyone else. But I'm saying though honey, if he is changing plans and cancelling, watch that though, really. Give him an ultimatum and tell him to meet you halfway or walk. You deserve to be loved and have a well rounded relationship without the games, so don't set it up for him to play you! Pray on it, and I hope it works out for whatever you choose to do.
2006-10-04 15:54:48 · answer #2 · answered by Dr. PHILlis (in training) 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its kinda complicated, but i think i have some advice. You said that you love him wit all your heart, then youll know whats best for him. Hes probably saving the money to raise his family of "3 Kids" with you. If you want to spend time wit him then tell him that you miss him a lot and you wanna start hanging out wit him some more, but be careful dont tell him to leave his job. Oh yeah and by the way dont you think its kinda early to plan your future at this age.
2006-10-04 15:27:57 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's so difficult when you love someone.... Believe me, I've been there. But men are attracted to women with good, happy lives.
The very best advice I can relate to you, is to stay busy with hobbies, your own interests, school, work and your own family. If he is truly interested in you, he will see you are happy, miss you, and start to come around on his own. If he is not... then perhaps you will find someone else while you are pursuing your own interests.
Oh, by the way... do you suspect him of cheating? Girlfriend, you do not need a man to validate you. If he's causing you grief, consider cutting him off and dating other men.
You are enough, just as you are!
2006-10-04 15:27:25 · answer #4 · answered by wxgddss 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Schedule time, it's not the quantity but the quality of time spent together. Right now this is just a temporary situation, so be patient he's doing the right thing to better himself for the relationship, which is very responsible. Sounds like he has a good head on his shoulders, and that is rare nowadays.
2006-10-04 15:28:10 · answer #5 · answered by beachdiva954 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This might be a short answer, but it is what I think. If he is to busy with work to do anything with you then you should ask him that you and him need to do stuff together more often. If he is just to busy with work to do anything with you because he is trying to dig himself out of his hole you should ask him if he can do anything on the weekend, or for him to take a break. Be persistant, don't just ask once. If he is just plain ignoring you, then he probably doesn't want to be with you anymore.
2006-10-04 15:26:16 · answer #6 · answered by answer-seeker 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sweetie, evidently your in love and if it's tru luv then it will stand the test of time. Keep your faith in him and he'll pay it back.
2006-10-04 15:26:39 · answer #7 · answered by Brad A 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
don't worry on the long run everything will be worth it...He's thinking of your future , so have patience just make sure he calls you everytime he doesn't see you,,tell him that it's very important to be in touch....sweet dreams tonight!
2006-10-04 15:31:40 · answer #8 · answered by guess 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
it will take time and will be hard if its tru love, but if he returns the feelings it will work out in time, i'm sorry hun
2006-10-04 15:25:02 · answer #9 · answered by harmonieclark 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
dump him get a new man
2006-10-04 15:24:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋