Someone help me please!!!!?

Question

This is a long one so hang on till the end. My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 yrs. and plan to get married soon. The problem is his mother! She and her 25(her son and I are only 23) yr old boyfriend have moved in with us. I was not consulted about this. Now that she lives here, she feels the need to run our house. How we raise our son, what I cook, how much we don't eat, what I feed my son, how I disipline my daughters, how clean I keep my house, she even told me to shoot my dog cause she licked our 3 yr old in the face! If I don't do what she says, she gets pissed off and rants and raves. My boyfriend lets her get away with it! He doesn't seem to under stand that I and our three kids come before his mother. He actually said that we were all equal priorities to him!!! I have begged, cried, pleaded, threatened, everything I can think of and he just does not get it. He gets mad at me because he says we fight like children. What do I do? I don't want to leave him, but I will.

Just to add alittle more detail, his mother nor her botfriend work. She has never had her own home and has lived her life bouncing from house to house living off of everyone she knows. She didn't even raise my boyfriend! She lost custody of him and his two sisters when he was 6! The reason why she lives here now, is because she had a house but lost it. When his granmother died, she moved in with his grandpa and acted all nice until he made a will giving her the house, then he died 5 months later! She didn't work, so she couldn't pay the bills, so the bank took it! So she is not a grown up herself!

Answer 1

My God i cant believe these other answers. To the curb to the curb ...to the KERBBBB!!!. This woman and her BF have NO business living in your home. and there will be NO peace as long as they are there. Your mom in law has issues, sure. And you could go to therapy and try to work things out. But, they are HER issues and not yours.there is a time and place for everything it is time for YOUR family to grow and find a place in this world. A mother's (and fathers) job, ultimately is to prepare the child to GO AWAY and live there own life. It is YOUR time. It is YOUR family. Not hers. One way or another she has got TO GO!!! or your life will continue to be a living hell.

Answer 2

The bottom line is that it's his responsibility to tell his mother and her boyfriend that they have to move out. If not, you'd better move out because it will only get worse over the years. Either you are his priority or you're not. There is no in-between. If there's some way through his or your work (employee assistance program) or medical insurance that you can get some free or inexpensive professional counseling, you might try that first. At least you'll have an independent professional tell him that the two of them must leave. Good Luck!

Answer 3

First of all I am so very sorry to listen to that you are having wellness disorders! You're a lot too younger for that! I will without doubt say a prayer for you and preserve you in my ideas, as I'm certain many others will too. I consider you are in God's arms already, so take middle. You're no longer by myself. As for learn how to pray, Jesus gave us an illustration known as "The Lord's Prayer", however we will additionally speak to him similar to we might a guardian. He desires us to return boldly earlier than him and make our requests, and he has promised to deliver us the want of our hearts. Above all, have religion. Even while Jesus lived as a person in the world he rewarded people who had religion. I desire I would let you know extra, however the Lord is aware of the whole thing I do not. He's with you. You're riskless with him. God bless.

Answer 4

Hi, i have a similar problem with my mum-in-law who actually thinks she runs a better household than i can or ever will.
Unfortunately, mothers, in general, have a distinct position in the household and can wield force that can rival master yoda. It doesn't matter whose household it was to begin with. i do know one thing, IT WON'T HELP TO ANTAGONIZE HER! your best recourse is thru your hubby.
take time-off together away from home, go somewhere you can talk privately. when you do talk it out, delete the hysterics, speak calmly, avoid falling into any argument, no name-calling, no bringing up of past issues, keep to the problem at hand, be open to reason- your objective here is to resolve the tension at home. remember, you will be talking about the goddess of his life before you ever came into it, so exercise all caution. think thoroughly of what is important to you, what you can live with or live without. THIS IS YOUR LIFE, you must be able to live with the choices you make. tell him your problem - is it because he sides with his mum, or is it that mum is trying to take the power status from you. what resolutions are you both amenable to? don't make him choose, don't give ultimatums-these won't solve the problem, it only complicates things.
Best of luck! Hope you get over this problem and be a better person because of it.

Answer 5

If he can't see that how his mother is acting is wrong, then you need to go right to his mother. Don't go to her in a confrontational way. Just tell her that you appreciate her trying to help and looking out for the best interest of your children, but you'd like to try and do it more on your own.

Answer 6

WOW.. that's a tough one.

If you really want to salvage your relationship...you might really want to consider group therapy...for all of you (mother'n'law included). However you need to start with you and your boyfriend. You have kids to consider here, so you need to make sure you make the right decisions. If your boyfriend doesn't agree to therapy, you might want to seek some for yourself to determine if your relationship is salvageable.

Answer 7

OMG!!! I can't imagine what you are going through. I'd leave until she does. Tell him when she's gone you will come home. You need to be respected...by him and her. Sounds like your boyfriend needs to grow a set. What a horrifying situation.