Hi, I am 18 years old, graduated from high school last year, began college this year. I wasn't fortunate enough to have any sexual experiences in high school except foreplay... never really happened. Anyways, second week of college now, and after 3 dates, I had this girl come into my dorm room (when my roomie was out) and we started kissing, got naked, did all sorts of oral foreplay but when the time came to actual intercourse, I couldn't keep it up... I don't know what happened... was so frusturated :( She said its ok, she had it happen with other guys too but I don't know, I felt like a loser... Even worse is, next time we get in bed, I am gonna be all worried about it... can't keep my mind off it :(
What to do? Please help a frusturated average Joe!
2006-10-04 13:45:55 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It happened to me on several first times (with a new partner). The problem was, I wasn't relaxed. When I couldn't perform, I got even more nervous, which the made the situation feel even more hopeless.
Next time you get together with her, the key is for both of you to be relaxed. Talk it out with her, so she doesn't feel anxious. Then put on some music and cuddle in bed and don't focus on sex -- just the comfort of each other's bodies. When you're not feeling pressured, the drive will come back again on its own.
It'll all be cool, the problem's a normal one for guys.
2006-10-04 14:02:42 · answer #1 · answered by Blenderhead 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yyeeeup'-- you've got a real bad case, Call it , Gidders, ------ Youthful anxiety , inexperience, maby a little , sexual exhaustion, fear the door will open at any moment, a little thing like a momentary thought chang ,like from---Wwoooooo to,,,,,,,,,, what ( IF )---- Man at that moment ,the first time out the gate ,,,,your wound so tight--- so ferfull of mis-firing- -you do, ----misss fire !! Perhaps this won't help much , 7 out of10 first shots miss the target ! Just thank the powers of women-hood , she was,--- sympathetic to your frustration . Should the chance arise, at a quiet moment,a hart felt thankyou is in order !
2006-10-04 16:06:18 · answer #2 · answered by cornelius p 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have you ever heard or seen someone pass out from the sight of blood? stress can severely affect your blood pressure. relax.
My advise is save your $$ go to Vegas and hire a pro from a reputable house for your 1st time. they are tested for STD's practice safe sex and won't make you feel like an idiot. AND the up side is they will tell/explain what women like/need to be satisfied.
maybe you have a fear of getting a girl preg. or of catching a STD who knows but the more you stress over it the WORSE it will get!
2006-10-04 13:54:33 · answer #3 · answered by rwl_is_taken 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are afraid of failure, you have no experience and you still don't, that's why you never got laid b4. quit the worrying, chances are that if you had of gotten stiff , you would have blown your load after about 3 pumps anyways and you would be stressing over that. you need to be having sex with someone you are comfortable with. not someone you are afraid of judging you, I know , not many offers huh? well the worst thing that could have happened did and you aren't any stronger after your first sexual encounter. practice, practice, practice. you had too much riding on your first time. next time , choke her (not to death) or spank her and you will feel more in charge.
2006-10-04 13:59:55 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The most important thing to do is relax! Of course, this advice is easier said than done.
It's natural to be nervous, but don't fixate on this one occurence. Next time, it will work better for you ;o)
2006-10-04 13:54:13 · answer #5 · answered by dizman 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it depends. sometimes guys cant get it up cuse they gotta pee. Other times it just takes awhile... lots of foreplay. Or being too nervous will cause it to be difficult to get it up. relax and just go for it. Also, someitmes there is a medical problem.
2006-10-04 13:56:09 · answer #6 · answered by Jenn 216 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It was because its your 1st time - believe it or not you were stress to some point.
I would keep doing oral until she makes you shoot. Try HJs too.
Once you are comfortable climaxing in front of her a few times - when it comes to vaginal sex, it will be more relaxing and you'll be ready.
2006-10-04 13:56:02 · answer #7 · answered by Kickster 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think its normal.. especially that u said u're only 18 and havent had much sexual experience in high school.
but when that happened to u why didnt u let that girl suck on ur penis ? it would get erected in seconds!!!
u're fine.. dont worry.
2006-10-04 13:52:09 · answer #8 · answered by HornySmile 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first what you have to do is stop worrying about what (it) is going to do next time. the more you think about him failing you the more he will fail you! you have to have faith in him... tell him he is the energizer bunny and have faith in him... all u have to worry about is if and when that girl will come back into your dorm room...lol! no but really it will stay "happy" as long as you stop losing faith in him. try going and stroking him now and apologize for not believing in him, i think he deserves it.
2006-10-04 13:53:19 · answer #9 · answered by apple martini 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think its ok and u should relax. i should say, dont get so uptight, this will make you feel uncomfortable and you wont be able to do it. relax and you 2 keep engaging each other. this should help. gd luck!
2006-10-07 02:48:59 · answer #10 · answered by pink-cookies 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋